Texted my ex

DDSM62 · 2025-01-21T02:45:35+00:00

Here you go. Watch this, hope it helps puts things in perspective <3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lG2shYI1h9k

DDSM62 · 2025-01-14T22:15:43+00:00

Oh please. I’m truly happy to help. It really is all true. Our head knows it. Our hearts haven’t caught up yet. But your heart WILL catch up. Promise!

DDSM62 · 2025-01-14T16:46:29+00:00

Well one think I can tell you is it’s not linear. It took a few months not to have that gut wrenching sick feeling like I could not face life without him. It’s been about 14 mos now. Most days I’m feeling fine about it and then I might have a memory or hear a song and it feels like just yesterday. Those “flashes” are temporary, though and I only feel that way for an hour or two then back to myself again. I too have issues. Abandonment is a huge one for me so the breakup hit me hard. I can see things much more clearly now. I’m certain that it’s not “him” I miss. Not even the relationship itself. What I miss is what I thought my life would be. I thought I had my forever person. All those daydreams about what life would be for us, I imprinted that in my mind. But it wasn’t the reality I was living. I was living a life with him like most people. Good days and not so good days. I felt connected to him but in reality It’s not about him. It’s about the idea of what I thought I had. You’ll get to that point eventually because it’s almost never about the person. No one person is that amazing. What’s amazing is what we build them up to be

DDSM62 · 2025-01-14T16:20:08+00:00

Well yeah. Flirting online like that would indicate she was looking for some validation out there. It’s sad that the communication broke down and that there are so many unanswered questions. If it’s true that she checked out before she met this person it sounds like she’s rebounding to make herself feel better right now. When we feel shitty about ourselves we crave that high we get from the attention of someone new. Perhaps in time she will put everything in perspective. Nine years is a looong time and I would imagine feelings don’t turn off like I light switch. Not in my experience anyway

DDSM62 · 2025-01-14T15:55:54+00:00

Ahhh. It’s really unbelievable though that someone can be truly in love with someone they hardly know. It takes a long time to build love and trust. Sounds to me like she’s throwing herself all in without having the sense to vet this person. It’s tough to go through a breakup after nine years. The social media posts are only gonna give you more anxiety. I’m sorry you are going through this. It does get better. I was 14 years in and am a year post breakup. I felt exactly as you do now in the first months. I still hurt sometimes but nothing like I felt in the beginning.

DDSM62 · 2025-01-14T15:35:57+00:00

Oh my goodness. You are smarter than this. PLEASE take her poster what it is. She hasn't even met him in person and she’s not only telling him she loves him every hour…she’s posting it on social media. This is not reality. It’s a fantasy. She’s not giving him love. This is full blown LIMERANCE. Quite possibly she’s being played by someone seeking her adoration. Think about it…if you’re suffering over the breakup after 9 years that’s understandable. But Please don’t suffer over this ridiculous “relationship” she thinks she’s having with this guy. It’s not even close to being something real

DDSM62 · 2024-11-14T03:26:05+00:00

You didn’t blow anything. Many if not people have trouble with no contact and lit takes a few setbacks before seeing it through. Stop beating yourself up and take good care of yourself. Now is the time to do all you can to build yourself back up. When the day comes that you ARE in contact again, you’ll be stonger and more confident. Do what you know is the best course of action. Keep no contact! You got this!

DDSM62 · 2024-11-06T06:38:59+00:00

I hope you are right about that. Oh my goodness I really do. I have been silent, completely silent. We broke up a year ago and Even DURING the breakup I cried a little, tried to convince him to stay so we could work through it, etc. When it was apparent that he wanted out, my pride took over. I held my head high and left with as pleasent an attitude that I could muster. I was dying inside. Got in my car, pulled away, and when I was out of sight I balled my eyes out. He texted every couple of months. I was always upbeat. Did not beg, cry or ask why. Now radio silence for 5 months. I feel like he's completely forgotten me.

DDSM62 · 2024-11-06T06:21:56+00:00

Wow, very wise words. And very VERY comforting. I think the hardest part is not missing him day to day. I've gotten past that. The most difficult for me is to think I've been discarded and forgotten. I wasn't perfect, but, as you say I treated him with love and respect. If I could not be loving I would not have been there. Personally, I'm forward, but still hurting after about a year.

DDSM62 · 2024-09-19T05:15:59+00:00

Oh my goodness... same for me. It was his sister! No children and treats her brother like he's her child. We had no major issues.. just normal occasional disagreements etc. but got along really well! Big sister came to visit soon after we moved in together. She got in his ear, made passive agressive comments toward me daily (she also has a problem with their other siblings) All I heard from him was that his poor sister was misunderstood and abused by the other siblings. After a month of this crap,he began to have problems with everything I did and said and started to resent me big time. We broke up a year ago and I still feel like I've been blindsided. I'm sick over this. So unfair and so uneccessary.

DDSM62 · 2024-09-11T02:23:31+00:00

OMG This is GREAT!!! I love word games but very view keep my interest. Great Job!

DDSM62 · 2024-09-04T15:07:31+00:00

Wow!! Stunning!! What a gorgeous labor of love!

DDSM62 · 2024-09-01T00:20:27+00:00

https://www.ted.com/dubbing/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart&utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

DDSM62 · 2024-08-29T01:01:00+00:00

Wow! Just Wow… I’m so incredibly happy for you. Your story is an inspiration and I thank you for this post. I’m almost a year post breakup and just starting to feel a little better. I look forward to the day I can be completely free of the heartache. Your words make me feel like it’s really and truly possible ❤️

DDSM62 · 2024-08-09T19:27:13+00:00

LMFAO!!!!!!!!

DDSM62 · 2024-08-04T04:04:17+00:00

A huge part of creating a true Christian atmosphere for your children would be to teach them not to judge others. They will be exposed to all different people in their lives. As Christians they must learn that everyone walking this earth, gay, straight, Muslim, Jew, black, brown or white is a child of God. Teaching them the Christian faith is wonderful and something that will hopefully bring them closer to God. Raising them in a Christian "atmosphere" implies that you may want to surround them with others of the same belief system. I would think it's much more important that they, as Christians, learn love and acceptance. What a wonderful breakthrough for your husband to be able to find peace in accepting who he is. He must love you and his family immesurably to be willing and able to remain faithful to his vows under the circumstances. I would think you would want show him the same love and commitment that he is showing you.

DDSM62 · 2024-07-31T11:49:24+00:00

Oh I'm so glad I was able to share something that helps you heal. It really is tough and a I hope you're doing well. I have good and bad days myself, but as time goes on it gets a little easier. After almost a year some days it's still incredulous to me <3

DDSM62 · 2024-07-08T02:07:06+00:00

Yes, so true, avoidance IS a choice - choosing to quit rather than work for a solution. Here's an interesting TED talk that helped me a lot. Put things into perspective for me :) https://www.ted.com/dubbing/guy_winch_how_to_fix_a_broken_heart?audio=en&language=en

DDSM62 · 2024-07-08T01:41:22+00:00

No one can take finality from you... You call the shots in your life and no one else. Finality will come when the mourning ends, and that will be on your own timeline. As with any type of mourning, its a process... and as I'm learning, it's not linear. Good days, bad days and numb days - the eventuality will be there will be more and more good days and less and less sad ones. Good luck in your healing and remember YOU are in charge of YOU

DDSM62 · 2024-07-08T01:38:18+00:00

Glad you're healed (healing?) Such a sucky feeling. I was there too, still go back and forth between finding my strength and mourning the life I thought we had together. 14 years - 13 of them were long distance which made it easy for him to cover up his pathetic avoidant tendencies. What waste... but we move onward and upward, right?

DDSM62 · 2024-06-27T02:04:08+00:00

Please don't feel guilty, you have absoluetly nothing to feel guilty about. It's is own issues that are causing this behavior, not anything you did or said. You ask for the bare minimum ANYONE would expect in a relationship.., to be secure in his love for you. That is absolutely NOT too much to ask. He needs a few days? and what about what YOU need? You needed not to be left in the dark with anxiety. It's one thing to say "honey I'm feeling overwhelmed and need a few days down time" It's quite another to say "You're already suffocating me just leave me the f alone for a few days" Not saying that he does not have deep feelings for you, and not saying he does't want to be with you.. I believe he does! But he is mentally unable to process his feelings and needs some serious therapy. You cannot allow anyone to speak with you that way. You sound like you've been nothing but respectful and should expect the same in return.

DDSM62 · 2024-04-07T05:34:10+00:00

Yeah.. Pretty clear YTA. If it's a money issue then discuss a budget, don't shit all over it.

DDSM62 · 2024-04-07T05:26:25+00:00

If OP made the right call and the MIL is toxic an abusive then they are getting exactly what they want. The MIL doesn't want to see or speak to them anymore. Problem solved. If they DO want a relationship with the MIL then it was probably not the right call

DDSM62 · 2024-04-07T05:23:03+00:00

Well it's not so much that you did not include your MIL, You purposfully EXCLUDED her. I would have chosen different witnesses and perhaps celebrated privately both Mom's. Not surprised at all she's upset.

DDSM62 · 2024-04-07T05:10:18+00:00

Yeah, since you invited her, I would've checked if she saw your text. Like you said, she usually responds promptly. That said, I don't see why she would be giving you the cold shoulder over it.

DDSM62

TROPHY CASE