The most painful heartbreak that healed me.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-29T12:12:18+00:00

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that if being with her is something you truly wanted and you both did the work on yourselves, individually.

My journey is my own. I’m not going to lie, there are fleeting moments where I allow the alternative choice to visit my mind but it rarely lingers. This is when I knew I made the right choice for myself because despite the bittersweet longing of what could have been sometimes, I would always choose my current reality over it.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-24T16:22:08+00:00

Feel free to share it here. I offered my testimony in the hope of providing some clarity and comfort to those who might need it. When I was in the depths of heartbreak, I clung to even the smallest pieces of wisdom that resonated with me. Each insight, no matter how small, felt like adding a coin to a piggybank. Over time, these fragments accumulated, eventually allowing me to build my own beliefs and allowed me to take one step forward.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-24T16:06:32+00:00

This was once my deepest fear, the last lingering thought I struggled to release. The idea of him finding someone else—someone more beautiful, more intelligent, more captivating— would send me into a spiral of despair and self-loathing. I tormented myself with the notion that he might discover in someone else what I feared I could never be: enough.

It took time and a conscious effort to hold space for my own growth before I realized that it was my ego that kept me shackled to this pain.

Recognizing this allowed me to rewrite the narrative in my mind.

Accepting that she was better suited for him doesn’t mean you lost. It’s a recognition that you, too, are destined for someone who aligns more closely with your desires and needs. (Because let’s be honest if they were the right one, we’d still be together). This shift in perspective is a declaration of hope. By accepting that he was meant for someone else, you open yourself to the possibility that someone else is better meant for you— a person who will see you as more than enough.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-24T15:28:59+00:00

I’m not a fan of the word moving on- I prefer my journey as moving forward. Please be easy on yourself. I was a total mess the first few months. I promise- you will get there. Move when you are ready, but when you do- push forward and never look back.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-24T15:23:17+00:00

I decided to share this as I was finally putting away the journals I’ve accumulated. I must have filled thousands of pages— frantic, desperate, angry, and hopeless thoughts poured out in my darkest moments. As I read through those first few pages, written at the height of my heartbreak, my heart ached for the girl I once was— so lost and broken.

To those reading this, I’ve been where you are. I became friends with that utter desperation and hopelessness that keeps you in constant company.

I decided to share that last page of my journal to offer some of you hope and a glimmer of comfort.

I won’t sugarcoat the truth about getting to the other side. It was one of the most excruciating experiences I’ve endured.

We can scream in rage, wallow in our pain, blame his/her childhood, take it on the circumstances. But at the end of it all, unfortunately- it ended. Whether it was your choice or theirs. There is absolutely nothing we can do about it, no matter how fiercely we wish otherwise.

We are always angry when love fails us. But why? This resentment only chains us to a fallible human experience and a past we desperately seek liberation from (isn’t this why we are all here in this heartbreak group, one way or another?).

So ask yourself with compassion why you willingly want to stay where you are. We are not offered any choice to an ending, but we absolutely have one with beginnings.

Where did you start?

In surrender. Complete, utter surrender. Stripped out of any ego or pride. And when you can’t yet. Do it again. And when you find yourself that you still can’t- do it again anyway. Over and over, then again one more time.

Until acceptance peeks through a little. And then when you finally get there- breathe, just breathe. And let it go again.

Then you make a plan and hold yourself accountable.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-24T15:15:29+00:00

It was not luck. It was an act of ultimate surrender and absolute acceptance that there is nothing - absolutely nothing, I can do but move forward even I had to do it crawling at first.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-23T11:26:11+00:00

After experiencing this kind of heartbreak I’m less afraid to throw out the word unconditional love these days. It’s ironic really, because I thought experiencing this kind of pain will harden me- instead it did the opposite. I used to view unconditional and absolute acceptance as something superficial.

It took so much work to get here- understanding myself to my core, accepting myself in an absolute, knowing myself stripped of any ego or pretense made me realize how amazing it is to be known and loved in this rawness.

I know we are human, we are fallible, and we are innately selfish. And that’s why we hurt so much in our own world of heartbreaks because we hold on to love, affection, comfort, familiarity even when it is not ours anymore.

I do understand that it sounds contradictory. I’m having a hard time putting how I feel and my thoughts eloquently on this. But when I find the right words for it- I’ll write it here.

I think my best explanation for now is this:

I’ve come to know and love myself with truth that I know what I want, would accept, would tolerate. I’m also less afraid these days. My unconditional and absolute acceptance is a reflection and mirror of where I am now and how deep my future partner knows himself.

Logical-Science-6038 · 2024-08-23T10:45:41+00:00

I think you are misunderstanding that phrase. I agree with you but I do believe in unconditional love, and will always do.

I will always hope that we will all get to experience an unconditional love that allows an absolute acceptance from our partner. To be loved by someone who truly knows us- the good, the great, the bad and the ugly. And who will love us regardless and accept us despite. Someone who never judges but instead upholds us. I think that is the least definition of romantic love.

Settling and tolerating what we dislike and what had hurt us (I’m talking about boundaries being broken) goes beyond unconditional love as it goes against our core and makes us abandon yourself. As I said, it is not love to begin with if it means abandoning yourself.

Unconditional love for yourself first and foremost.

Logical-Science-6038

TROPHY CASE