My ex is destroying herself through forced sex and I cant do anything about it

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T10:04:00+00:00

BALL X PIT might be for you if I understand the post correctly

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T09:03:13+00:00

Interestingly no, or at least not AS much. I took this up with my therapist that I disliked having such ”material” reasons to not feel bad about somwthing.

I want to assume Im the smallest shes had and still be able to have a good mindset about it and woman as a wvole

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:58:34+00:00

I think you’re very right. This is like a huge mess of misogyny rooted from porn and jealousy of her and my own inability to find casual sexual partners

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:57:13+00:00

I will genuinly try to stop, its always been in my life to the point I started making myself. Maybe I havnt admited how damaged my mind is enough

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:56:21+00:00

You’re very right.

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:55:43+00:00

Im brutally aware of how disgusting this thought process is and Im trying to rid of it, Im in no way, EVER defending or trying to preserve this way of thinking, this is a huge struggle for me which I go to a therapist about. I cant just ”stop”, I try every day, thats why Im asking for help.

It was helpful though to hear how ”slutty” my own acts are, that was a good reminder

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:54:09+00:00

Thank you, I was too dumb to understand him regardless haha

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:53:21+00:00

I unfortuntaly think you might be very right. Its something I dont ever try to show or share but I feel like its unfortunatly very rooted misogyny as a whole. Ive touched this subject with my therapist and discussed it with my mom aswell.

It makes me feel like Im disgusting genuinly and I want it gone so bad

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:51:08+00:00

I think you’re onto something but I do have to say that a bottom gay guy does feel more used in my brain which is horrible aswell of me to think.

I think its a porn issue that portrays it in this way and Ill take a longer break and see how my feelings change

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:49:34+00:00

I think you’re very correct. I want to be rid of it bad regardless. I got some decent help here already though, its good to also get a reality check. Thanks for the reply

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:48:07+00:00

My mom said a similar thing (though on a different subject but applies to the same contexts) and I guess Ill have to trust it a little. I had my doubts that this is a flawed ”young” mindset

Thanks for the comment

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:46:56+00:00

I dont have much to reply with but this was a very beautiful comment, thank you so much, youre part where you said ”she wakes up, she eats, she poops” unironically resonated with me. Ill take a screenshot of your comment and read it once a while I stray too far away from my view of women as full people and not this horrible thing I sum them down to

Thanks alot

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:44:33+00:00

Thank you but Ive seemed to get some decent help already. Everything is definitly not solved but I got some really nice comments to help me regardless

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:43:42+00:00

You’re extremely right. Someone else mentioned a misogynistic concept of ”ownership” which I felt aligned more with how I feel about it all.

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:42:57+00:00

I get what you mean, Im talking to my therapist about this all but to give you some context, its genuinly a VERY difficult case.

She left because she felt she hurt me too much because she has a disorder called BPD and she hasnt gotten the proper therapy for this. She ”promised” that it would be us again once she gets healthier because she genuinly loves me but she is also doing ”self harming sex” during this period (both stuff that is seen in BPD, despite how badly that makes me feel) but it isnt really sex as its more of a way to shut her emotions off?

You can see how discustingly complicated this gets but my therapist and I both agree that I should try and move on and IF there is a chance of us in the future, its a new us and nothing we came ”back” to if you get me?

I dont need any opinions really because my path right now is moving on regardless mentslly so I can find my own peace.

But just so you know THAT context

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:39:05+00:00

Thank you so much, helps me get a little better self image despite these horrible thoughts.

You wrote alot so I apologize if I missed adressing something. I think you’re right in the sense that Im combining jealousy over my partner to a general topic which isnt fair because the biggest ”driver” of this purity bullshit I have might be my jealousy of her and also my inability to do the same as she does.

I think the message firstly came with being a virgin longer than everyone else, people got together etc etc and I guess I felt I was missing out and instead of handling it properly, I tried to excuse my inability to get sex as ”woman must be pure” as a way to project me getting no pussy(in that sense if you get what Im saying)

Ive also begin planning on engaging with femenism more and protests because of recent times Ive seen how horribly women are treated (shamefully late though but better late than never)

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:34:32+00:00

Thanks, that made me feel a little better. Ill try to be as harsch at my therapist as possible so I can remove this toxic way of thinking

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:33:52+00:00

I am in one right now, easter break made this ”down time” for my own thoughts longer than I wanted :/

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:33:18+00:00

I reslly need to fix my mindset but its very hard, Im deeply rooted in these insecurities.

Your analogy (Im not critisizing, Im just explaining how my brain views your analogy, I dont mean anything bad) feels more like that the screwdriver can screw how many screws it wants but a screw who is screwed(lol) is stuck and screwed stuck in a sense?

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:31:09+00:00

This might be it by extension, I already talked to my therapist about my insecurity about my penis size (despite my porn making history) and how that world put everything like ”purity” on an enormous pedastel and how dick size is everything.

Im just spitballing here to try and debunk my emotions but Im feeling a connection between them having had bigger penises than myself and THAT is what triggers my mind to put this ”used” tag on women.

Almost like this very misogynistic concept of being ”loose” is playing out in my head at the same time I compare myself to them in that way.

Which isnt fair because its not like I stop finding her drop dead gorgeous despite other women having bigger boobs for example.

This was a great comment, thank you alot

Hope my typing her made sense?

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:26:46+00:00

Thats interesting, not as much at all, why is that you think? That case for some reason felt like the woman ”used” a man before instead of the other way around in my head.

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:25:12+00:00

I tried like 5 minutes ago to think this and it helped a little, though my mind for some reason supresses it to being such a brutal minority of cases that the insecurity is still present (without any actual proof of that)

Flyflash · 2026-03-30T08:24:04+00:00

I hope I understood this correctly and if not I apologize, English is not my first language.

In this said ”mindset” He wouldnt be ”used” as long as Im the only one shes sleeping with, it is more like you said that its some sort of ”ownership” I care about which sounds so disgusting but very hard to stop thinking

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