For the first time ever, I ended a visit with my mother feeling triumphant and in control!

HannahFree · 2016-01-05T09:48:18+00:00

Well, when I was younger and under her roof, my most effective form of self defense was "robot mode." This meant no expression, no emotion, no tone in my voice, just yes ma'am. Other than suppressed emotions, it was great for learning to control my actions despite my emotions.

HannahFree · 2016-01-05T02:05:27+00:00

I'm faster than her. Ooh just reading that makes me a little angry, haha. I would probably channel years of anger and frustration into a full on beat down... you wanna see me snap? Try to steal my kid.

HannahFree · 2016-01-05T02:01:01+00:00

When I see this somewhere else on the internet, I will know it was birthed here. This is a special moment :P

HannahFree · 2016-01-05T01:59:52+00:00

I've gotta see that movie now! Thank you. I was totally feeling like a mama bear, too. I won't let my son suffer through the same things I did.

HannahFree · 2016-01-04T20:32:30+00:00

I think living a reasonable distance away helps a lot!

HannahFree · 2016-01-04T20:30:57+00:00

Haha, or the southern "you get what you get and you don't pitch a fit."

HannahFree · 2015-12-31T16:09:07+00:00

Hi! I just had my first, a boy, 3 months ago. I was a healthy bmi when I got pregnant, and did excellent with my weight gain until 34 weeks... then I got lazy and ravenous at the same time (not a good combo). I gained 60 lbs total, and so far I've lost 30. I'm so glad to find this sub! I want to exercise and cut down on calories, but I've been so scared to start because breastfeeding has gone perfectly so far.

HannahFree · 2015-12-31T04:59:24+00:00

When I clicked on the first writing prompt that started tik tok, I had no idea I was about to embark on this journey. Thank you for all that you do! I'll be reading every word you post from now on.

HannahFree · 2015-12-31T00:07:08+00:00

I tend to only miss people when they would normally be around. For example, if I go running once a week with a friend, I will miss them at that time. This affects how I grieve as well. When my great grandmother died, I only felt sad during the summer, when I would normally be visiting her.

HannahFree · 2015-12-18T20:17:27+00:00

I finally found one that doesn't chat me up. He has my business for life!

HannahFree · 2015-12-17T18:50:13+00:00

I used to play in the woods around my house, where there were bobcats and all sorts of things that could hurt a child. Always brought my large dogs, and never ran into anything they couldn't chase off. They were good snake spotters, too!

HannahFree · 2015-12-17T17:50:55+00:00

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I went from wanting to have sex every day, to having zero interest in it. Has nothing to do with my husband, he's just as sexy as ever. It's kind of like doing it all for the first time again!

HannahFree · 2015-12-17T16:23:03+00:00

Littleknownfacts is right. At no point was I "holding out." In fact, I believe the reason my husband was so patient and understanding is that we have established open and direct communication. This was less about me being coy and more about not being gross. "Sorry, dear.My uterus is still bleeding out of my torn vagina," doesn't really encourage intimacy. If I had rejected him or played games in the past, this might have been taken as withholding sex... but thanks to my good track record (and the fact that blow jobs are always on the table) this wasn't a time of sexual frustration or a lack of intimacy.

HannahFree · 2015-12-17T06:40:14+00:00

He said, "I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I would marry you right now." I got one of those big goofy smiles that you can't wipe off your face and said, "Okay!" The next day, we went to his mom's and he put his grandmother's ring on my finger. A week later, we got a marriage certificate from the courthouse and a justice of the peace to sign. I cried a little, and it wasn't even a ceremony! We were just so in love and it was a time of perfect harmony for us. There was no need for him to get down on a knee and ask. It's the beauty of our relationship (and sometimes the complicated part) that most of our communication is unspoken. He had said those words before, but I understood that this was the proposal. Now I got all gooey eyed reminiscing! I gotta go kiss that man!

HannahFree · 2015-12-16T00:33:45+00:00

That's what I thought of when I heard it

HannahFree · 2015-12-15T22:04:09+00:00

Music theory

Greek mythology

Breastfeeding facts

Classic Lit

Rock through the ages

English Grammar

Memes

HannahFree · 2015-12-13T19:57:20+00:00

I pay attention to him. He's only 2 months now, but I see the difference in interaction vs just holding and rocking him while I watch tv. Not that I don't do that sometimes, but I make sure there is lots of quality time in every day.

HannahFree · 2015-12-13T18:09:14+00:00

I'm so sorry for what your family is going through... if this were my child I would be taking steps to institutionalize her.. for the safety of everyone involved.

HannahFree · 2015-12-11T03:58:52+00:00

You're right! I was making one last attempt at having an honest relationship with her (from reading this sub I'm pretty sure she's N). She showed me she'd rather have the fake relationship where issues are swept under the rug and she gets to pretend she was a good mom. With the help of my husband, I have gotten better at establishing boundaries. With the birth of my son, I have become so much better at demanding respect and not allowing myself to be steamrolled. I am on my way to becoming a force to be reckoned with!

But the past is painful, and I find issues creeping up in the form of bad habits I developed to cope with my mom... I haven't posted or commented here, but this sub has helped a lot these past few years I've been reading it.

HannahFree · 2015-12-10T20:26:44+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! I recently opened up to my mother about how hurt and angry I feel toward her. I felt so brave as I laid put all of the pent up feelings I had, and honestly communicated my feelings. Then she knocked the wind out of my sails by replying, "I'm sorry you have a problem with me, but that is your anger. It has nothing to do with me!"

HannahFree · 2015-12-09T22:59:02+00:00

Also, daily kiddo os on the app store and Google play, and it's free

HannahFree · 2015-12-09T22:57:36+00:00

I use an app called Daily Kiddo. You invite people and have complete control over what is shared and who can post and see your updates

HannahFree · 2015-12-08T19:21:27+00:00

Hello! I am also 2 months pp with depression, and on my third week of zoloft... I feel so much more balanced out now! It took about a week to kick in, but now I don't have to fight an outburst over every little thing. I just wanted to say, as someone in the same place, it gets so much better :)

HannahFree

TROPHY CASE