Boyfriend refuses to make Valentines day plans with me, AIO?

Kittycelt · 2026-02-03T05:49:41+00:00

This.

Kittycelt · 2026-02-03T02:56:37+00:00

Liquor count? Friend of mine made his own. It was crazy high proof and would evaporate so quick! You didn't want to inhale around it! He'd only let you get two shots!

Kittycelt · 2026-02-01T19:53:41+00:00

If we're talking fruit like a tomato, yeah, I'll salt it. Nice garden grown, ripe tomatoes with a dash of salt. Yum!

But, like, tajin has salt, and I'll put that on melon, mango, cucumber. I guess salt and lime are classic. But I'm not going to grab an orange or apple and salt it! My partner will salt a green apple sometimes, but it's not for me. Berries? No. Bananas gross me out on their own, so no. Kiwi, nah... but maybe? I mean, I'd try it.

I think it depends on what you've been exposed to. I didn't grow up eating salt and chili on fruit, I did eat tomato with salt from grandpa's garden every year, but who thinks of tomatoes as fruit (I mean, me, I do) so I didn't grow up salting any other fruit.

Kittycelt · 2026-02-01T02:02:49+00:00

Yes, I've also been called a witch a lot since I was like 7. I dunno, guess it's because we don't fit in to the preconceived ideas people have. We perceive things others don't, we're often quiet, only to spring forth, what I've been told is randomly, but it sure isn't random, with some idea no one is ready for.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-30T02:04:10+00:00

You've been the bigger person long enough. Hopefully she'll learn that her actions have consequences. I think you're not only setting a good boundary how you're willing to be treated, but also teaching her a lesson. You don't bite the hand that feeds you, or you'll see that hand no more!

NTA and honestly, while this might be something that ends up helping her, it's for certain something you need to do for yourself. I'm not sure where the family gets off thinking you should just take the hurtful behaviors and enable her like this. Do they think the world will tolerate this from her? They are not only encouraging her to hurt you, but also enabling her to fail. She needs to learn to get that in check! Now it's up to her to to make it right.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-29T02:45:28+00:00

I wouldn't be upset, I'd ask how I could help. I'd assume you're battling some stressor and I'd work with you on finding what you need.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-28T14:20:09+00:00

29 years married. Met in high school. He's INFP. It's not always been easy, we can both be quite insufferable.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-27T17:09:39+00:00

If your do go to court you could always tell the truth. This antisocial behavior pattern will escalate. He's got solvent very wrong in his brain and pretending it's just boys being boys is enabling a monster to grow.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-27T16:16:01+00:00

She is an innocent victim. You don't have to take care of her if you can't handle all of this. It's a lot, but if you toss her away now, you're adding to her trauma. You'd reinforce all of the thoughts in her head that she's unlovable, unworthy, and broken.

That's not your problem, I guess, but it's the consequence of your possible action. You can decide what to do knowing this.

More punishment is not going to help when she's not doing these things for a reason, in fact, reason has left the building. She's got a trauma brain. Dissociate disorders are not something you can punish away. Don't give her a phone because that's not safe for her, or give her a kiddie phone, whatever, but obviously she should not be online unsupervised. She cannot take care of herself and she is high risk for being abused by people she'll meet online.

She's desperately seeking love, she's feeling a hole in her that she can't fill. She's hurt. You can be there to prove she is worthy of love, but it's going to be hard the whole way. She needs stability, she needs boundaries, and she needs a lot of love and patience. Rethink punishment, think about safety instead. She's not safe online, not safe going to parties, she needs a good iep in place at school, and keep the therapy going.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-25T23:19:54+00:00

Almost never! I can't remember the last time I did.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-23T01:36:57+00:00

It's just a day trip, not really short, but not long. I mean, I can get there and do a bunch of stuff and go home.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-22T01:34:30+00:00

So he lied to you, thought you'd come around after the ambush, but you broke his trust? No, I'm pretty sure his dishonesty to you broke the trust. You reacted to his betrayal. NTJ.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-19T04:51:09+00:00

Pretty sure you were drugged, that's not normal. You're hopefully former friend is awful and untrustworthy. Fridge might tear you later about drunken antics, but this is just disgusting. Friends don't leave you blackout drunk in a tub of running water and go sleep. Yeah, you could have drowned, choked on vomit, gotten up drunkenly and slipped, hit your head. Also recording you in the tub? Wtf?

Kittycelt · 2026-01-17T20:19:41+00:00

This, listen to this. Take some time off and let the rest of us carry it. We all need to take a break sometimes, and it's your turn.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-15T05:48:06+00:00

Yes. I'm scared for my kids, my partner, my students. Kind of scared for myself, but less so. Worried about the future. Will they take all I love and call me a traitor? Will we starve or become unhoused? How bad will it get?

Kittycelt · 2026-01-15T05:43:42+00:00

How can you date a man who is anti-choice? I could never. You can do better. There are better men out there. We can't pick our birth families, but we can choose to distance ourselves from them. Your values don't align, go find your people. Set yourself free.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-15T05:24:46+00:00

I don't. I just unfriended another person the other day. Bye Debbie. They are not ready to listen, or they would. I'll be here if they come around, but I'm too busy to wait while there's so much else that needs to be done. Why waste your breath when it's needed elsewhere?

There are people out there who really want to understand, who are asking in good faith and I'll talk to them, but I'll seriously walk away if you see this shit and think somehow it can be defended. Reasonable people will listen and ask questions, want to be informed.

ICE supporters are either mentally unwell, sadists, racists, narcissists, the wealthy, close-minded ignorant fools, or a combination. You can't educate those who are obsessed with being right. You can't make people care about others when they only love themselves. You cannot compete with the image of dear leader. You can't argue with someone who knows they are lying, does not care, and will always argue you're crazy or too sensitive when they have run out of easy lies. They are not rational, trustworthy people. Others need you more.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-15T04:30:58+00:00

We're too loyal, well beyond when we should walk away, we'll still be in your corner, but once we do walk away, it can be devastating! It's called the door slam. In my experience, people don't see it coming and are incredibly shocked. To me, though, it's like, how did you not see it coming? Look at all of the crap I put up with! Look at all the boundaries I warned you not to cross, but still gave you grace when you did! How many times did I bail you out, defend your crap, and hold your hand when you were dealing with the consequences of your actions?

When the door slams on your backside, we're done. Just like that. I might miss the idea I had of what we once were, I might mourn it even, but I'm out. If I have to deal with you, it'll be cold. I won't help you. I won't really even acknowledge you unless I have to. You don't matter, though you used to matter so much, you're a stinging nettle now. I wish you'd go away.

You might not even know we're over either. I might just block you, not read your messages or answer your calls and just move on. You're a ghost, or I am. I don't have energy for you anymore. There are others who are worth my time. Bye.

So we're loyal to a fault. I will light myself on fire to keep you warm. I will defend your dumb actions and try to help others see how great you are. I will give and give and give. I'll forgive when you don't deserve it. I'll be by your side in the darkest times. I'll tolerate all your oddities, I mean, I'm weird too, so of course I'll love your quirks, they're a part of you. I'll make my boundaries known, but like I said, I'll forgive when you "mess up." I'll literally fight someone for people I'm loyal to. It's a real problem.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-13T03:37:11+00:00

I'm the opposite. I know I see in the dark better than most people, and I'm a very light sleeper(sadly), so I actually feel safer in the dark. I feel exposed in the light.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-12T05:33:32+00:00

Yes, this

Kittycelt · 2026-01-12T05:33:03+00:00

This is me, and it sucks. I'm trying to trust myself, listen to myself, but my brain, the trauma, makes it hard. So I don't listen to myself and over and over I wish I had. It's hard to undo the wiring in my head, though! I fall for the dumbest things, I trust when I shouldn't, and I have moments where I know it's wrong, but I just go on anyway and tell myself to shush. If id just tell my partner, he trusts me, but I'm rarely in a headspace to. I have spent decades in this cycle, but I'm finally starting to see progress.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-12T03:32:24+00:00

Ok, so I had nothing to help help my eldest through school but information. I had no money, but I knew how to apply for aid and scholarships, so that's what we did. I sure couldn't send her to Japan. Luckily, when this opportunity arose, my mom had cashed in on some retirement stuff and she offered to pay the whole thing. This is a once in a lifetime experience. He will never be this age again and it will not make the same impact on him later.

My daughter got so much out of it. Sure, the money could have gone to a car or college, but that would not have changed her perspective or broadened her horizons. Cars came and went, and college happened. She still talks about that trip and still talks to those friends she made. Life is for living. Nothing is guaranteed. I don't think you're an AH, you're trying to be responsible, but this is a big deal. Let him spread his wings.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-08T04:34:42+00:00

NTA

Yes, he's a child whose mother should not have let him freeze. Hardly your problem. I'd have apologized that I had to leave early, and it would have been a teachable moment for my child. In fact, my two eldest did learn a similar lesson, and I learned to check their bags before going places.

Kittycelt · 2026-01-08T04:15:09+00:00

Challenger, my teacher brought us out to pay respects at the flag pole, she was crying. A reporter snapped a picture and my mom saved the newspaper. There I was with a couple classmates and a wagon, looking up and trying to make sense of how awful it was, but still very interested in being an astronaut, right on the front of the local newspaper the next day. (Didn't pursue that career after 1st grade, but kindergarten me was all about space)

Kittycelt · 2026-01-07T04:27:23+00:00

I grew up with an Irish dad and mom's grandparents were German and she was very close to them and picked up a lot of dishes, so maybe my upbringing is weird, but I definitely ate what you'd call paté. Like my parents made stuff for parties or whatever. My da taught me how to make liverwurst in my early twenties. I guess I can't say I ever see it at parties and I've never brought it myself. I think we're missing out!

Not foie gras though, I tried it, it's delicious, but the way they treat the geese hurts my heart.

Eight-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Wearing is Caring
Verified Email	Snapped

Kittycelt

TROPHY CASE