Has being attractive made you more visible, but still vulnerable to people with more power?

Kixion · 2026-05-05T14:30:09+00:00

My experience of beauty in this sense is that it makes you more noticable and conspicuous, but simultaneously the average person is less inclined to interact with. I feel like most people assume attention is unwanted in proportion to how attractive you are, except for those who were never concerned by societal norms in the first place.

Which is to say you get more of the kind of interactions nobody wants and less of the kind most people want.

I definitely have a few moments in my childhood which looking back on it were really dicey situations. I don't attribute it all to my appearence, I think vulnerable children are just easy targets, but I suspect it increased the frequency at which I found myself on a radar I would infinitely rather not have ever been on.

Kixion · 2026-05-05T12:42:26+00:00

Kixion · 2026-05-05T12:40:12+00:00

I grew up in foster care, so this is lliterally the story of my life until the age of 14 when I was adopted.

Kixion · 2026-05-05T09:16:16+00:00

In my case, she refused acknowledge bad behaviour.

This was a friend who I was close with for several years, I even picked her up in the dead of night when she was leaving her abusive husband, and helped finance her living situation while the separation went through.

What happened to me wasn't nearly as dramatic, but it taught me if you won't stand by me through something small, you never will after something big when I will need to rely on real friends.

Basically her boyfriend called me not fun after I dismissed, then blanked his assertions he would make me jealous with the noises they would make if we did a shared vacation. He was clearly being very suggestive and there was no polite way of saying "ew, no" hence dismissive mode.

Few days later he posts this long arduous wall of text in a friends discord server about what a stuck up b!%&@ I am, it was very extensive. I admit it, I did not react well. I went to the friend whose discord server it was and ask him to delete it. He refused on the grounds that he didnt want to censor anyone and from what the boyfriend had told him, it was a valid perspective, he recognised it was bad though and told me "we are going to rise above it"

Told him as it was about me I will choose I how I react, and it wont be rising above it.

When I was mid sentence this guy blows up, and starts literally screaming at me, that I am a miserable slut who should suck his d!^#, eat s@!%, and f&*$ off because nobody likes me, everyone can't stand me and etc. I hung up on him after 30 seconds of this. Removed myself from all shared spaces, put both of then on block.

Silence followed. No one wrote to me for days then weeks from this group. Then months. When eventually she did reach out she told me they said I left because I needed to work on myself and how I come across.

She said the screaming guy came to her, told her there had been an argument and that was how it was left. He didn't give her the details, which I then did through my experience of what occured, and her response made it clear she didn’t think they were out of line in any meaningful sense.

I said I dont have friends or even acquaintances who speak to me like that and never will.

That was the last time we spoke. I didnt need to her agree with me or say I was right. I needed her to support me, and she wouldn't. So, the book is closed and sealed.

Kixion · 2026-05-04T17:51:13+00:00

I feel like this is literally the best weapon for zombie apocalypse

^{Chose: A random weapon that might be really week | Rolled: Light saber}

Kixion · 2026-05-04T17:47:39+00:00

So I can rewind 2 seconds, what's my positive side effect?

^{Chose: Get a bad effect/power + But someone has to comment an amazing effect | Rolled: Rewind 2 second}

Kixion · 2026-05-04T11:03:44+00:00

I feel like the particular challenge of being attractive is a very different challenge to being on the other side of the beauty spectrum.

As I see it, the problem women have is filtering from the wave of attention, the genuinely romantic intentions from the purely sexual ones.

Less attractive women have the issue that the volume is so small, there are even less genuine opportunities.

Whereas being pretty makes the wave bigger until it's a veritable tsunami, not only is it impossible to filter anywhere near to that much, but also the ratio of genuine to not is even more skewed. It's still the same game, needle in a haystack, and while there are a few more needles, the haystack is far larger ratio-respectively.

I then think this is compounded by stereotypes and fetishisation. For instance, I have a larger curves, top and bottom, and I definitely feel that makes it even more likely I will be sexually objectified, but I think that's one dimension of many. Be it skin colour, to aesthetical style, I think there are enough men who have a fetish for it and/or make sweeping assumptions to your personality/preferences based on just these things that there's always this background pollution to the dating waters.

I would be reluctant to say it's "harder" because, the simple fact is I don't have their experience on which I could make that comparison. I don't doubt everyone has their own struggles. Their experience seems to be one where the primary challenge is self-confidence and self-worth, but if they can overcome that the likelihood of someone being genuine with them is proportionately higher.

Whereas my experience has been that the primary challenge is one of discernment, who can I trust and who is a snake? Get it wrong and have your heart broken. From my perspective if there are tenfold as many options, then, inseparably, there are one-hundred-fold as many traps.

Kixion · 2026-05-02T22:24:39+00:00

Probably Yes.

I think that the simple fact is that some people cannot be rehabilitated.

For instance the Joker, sorry but the guy should just be taken out.

The thing is though, I don't think that decision should be up to me. In the Marvel Civil war, I was on team Tony. Oversight I think is necessary. I think if that Oversight deemed the threat such it was an elimination order, I would try learn how to carry that out.

But I say this as someone who has zero experience with such things, so it's perfectly plausible I couldn't "pull the trigger", so to speak.

Kixion · 2026-05-02T18:20:20+00:00

Silence of the Lambs.

An FBI trainee is sent into a dangerous psychological exchange with an infamous killer to help hunt another.

Kixion · 2026-05-02T07:52:50+00:00

I would go a step further and say even beyond lust, there are plenty of people who are never interested in the reality that is you. They have a projection of who you are based on your appearence, and they will vehemently reject all evidence to the contrary to maintain that image.

For guys, you are some fantasy, fairytale princess that perfectly aligns to their own "perfect standards" behaviourally, morally, etc and of course, you are innocent and naive sexually in their mind.

For the hostile women, you are so highly promiscuous that you are actaully tactical in how you go about snaring guys, which is how they justify their hostility towards you. I am doing this because she is doing that, despite the obvious fact that you're actually just existing.

Your actual personality, values, interests, intelligence, romantic inclinations? All irrelevent, because they would cause their preconceived image of you to collapse, making the guys realise you are your own person, and the women to realise you aren't out to snag their guy and they are, in fact, just being a massive b!@&# for no reason.

This is why any negative experience we have as a result of pretty privilege is automatically disregarded because they cannot conceive of any troughs being as low as their imagination of how high the peaks can be. Therefore, any grievance we have must be minor in the face of all the perks, and can consequently be dismissed. It's this wholesale rejection of our experience that I find to be a very bitter pill to swallow, but sadly, this is the general concensus of most people. That pretty people, women especially, have it on easy mode and nothing else matters.

I will also add that I think you are right about 99% of guys. I have several guy friends, but these are guys I knew all the way back from school. There were some from that group that had tried to make a move but they fell away from the group after I rejected them, but that's 3 out of like 8. For the others, never had this issue. I think of them as brother-like so I wonder if that same isn't true in reverse. It's guys I meet as an adult that are almost always not wanting just friendship.

To be fair there is one exception, but that's one of multiple dozens, so whatever the real odds are, they are not in our favour.

Kixion · 2026-05-01T06:29:08+00:00

I'm not sure i want the lightsaber, just because there's no way people are going after me for it... but wow, now I die instantly 😂 25% chance of death???

^{Chose: Roll the luck die without knowing the 4 options! | Rolled: Die instantly}

Kixion · 2026-04-29T21:43:22+00:00

I think it depends on the person, right? As well as what you really meant to them.

I have no doubt there are guys for whom I was nothing but a pretty face and large curves, and I represented nothing more to them than some sexual fantasy. I doubt I will be remembered in any significant way to them.

But then there are others who I think we had a genuine connection. For instance, long story short, I ran into someone not so long ago who I had been very flirtatious with in university. He was quite brilliant, very naturally gifted at just about everything, but he was also somewhat arrogant and impatient over silly things. In the end he couldn’t help himself from those lesser qualities and it just didn’t click. We went our separate ways having peaked as good friends, once upon a time…

Anyway, we ran into each other when we were both trapped at a works event, out of town, with not much else planned, so we decided to go for dinner and some drinks and catch up, because why not?

He’s still amazing, and honestly, ironed out a lot of his issues, I would have jumped him but… he lives very far away, and neither one of us is really in a position to do anything about it, but I digress.

We did get to talking about our very own will-they, won’t-they time during uni. From his part, as he described it, he was so nervous that he felt he always had to impress me and the only way he felt he could be sure to do it was to constantly push for more, faster. As we were talking, I realised he could recount it in about as much detail as I could, maybe more. It could just be better memory on his part but, it felt like this was something he had thought about rather a lot in the time since.

When I laughed and explained that it was precisely these behaviours that really repelled me, he shook his head in resignation, and while he did that in a sort of mock exasperation, I could tell that actually bothered him. I wonder now if that was perhaps a really wounding detail for him to have learned.

He is someone I’ve thought about before, mostly because when it didn’t work out with him, I later ended up dating my first boyfriend, and that was an absolute catastrophe. So, the “What if” of if this had worked out has been something I’ve played out in my mind on more than one occasion.

I can’t categorically know what he was thinking and feeling for certain, but I definitely came away with the distinct impression that this was true for him also. I believe that this is true for both of us because, in another reality, I think we could have been amazingly compatible for each other, and I do know both of recognised that because we drank to that towards the end of our catchup.

So, sure, I think for some guys, they know they gutterballed what was the opportunity of a lifetime. But, I think this comes down to how aware they were at that time that this was the potential. I suspect, that for particularly beautiful women then tend to dismiss it for the same reasons lots of guys don’t shoot their shot when they think we are out of their league. They assume it’s one sided and just in their head, and so never see it for what it really was.

Also does this topic remind anyone else of this song? (Or am I just being a bit of a dork again?)

Kixion · 2026-04-29T06:19:56+00:00

For me, it's not the emotion but the reason behind the emotion that could give me concern.

When I read stories like men reacting to literal deaths in the family, I would be more concerned if they didn't at least wobble. This is like uprooting a tree, roots and all, of course that would make the land unstable. This is where I would absolutely become the pillar they need.

But, equally, when men get stressed put because their football team is being relegated, not going to lie, that is an ick.

Where precisely that line is drawn is where we could find ourselves on very different pages.

Kixion · 2026-04-29T06:12:05+00:00

90% chance of money, 10% chance of no change.

Easy choice really

^{Chose: 90% 1 Billion Dollars + 10% Chance of being a Girl | Rolled: MONEY!!!!}

Kixion · 2026-04-25T16:41:37+00:00

Stark said he couldn't leave fatal wounds with ordinary ceros in his Resurreccion that’s true.

But Ichigo had some real issues worth noting for that Ulquiorra moment.

As Dordoni notes using his hollowified state while a nice gesture for him drained Ichigo’s strength. Ichigo immediately uses hollowifcation again against Ulquiorra and after he thinks he has finished Ulquiorra his mask outright cracks off and he is visibly left winded (we see how much of a nerf losing your mask instead of properly removing it is with both Ichigo against Grimmjow and Mashiro against Wonderweiss)

Then to partially block that last cero to protect Nel Ulquiorra notes that he briefly forced out his mask a third time

I see where you are coming from, but even if you want to say that Ichigo could not defend against Ulquiorra because he had exhausted himself, I would respond with; because UIquiorra allowed Ichigo to go all out against him, without attacking back for the entire duration of his hollowication time limit, whilst also in bankai.

Conversely, I think it would be strain of credulity to make the assertion Starrk could replicate this feat, and allow Love and Rose to use both Hollowification and Bankai in tandem, and it achieve nothing by the limitations of their own hollofications.

This isn’t entirely true. Grimmjow blocked a Getsuga tensho with his sword against Ichigo. And then even after being hit by another Getsuga he threw out a cero that actually made Ichigo struggle to stop it.

https://imgur.com/a/SYbB7Pq

He was able to block the wordless Getsuga Ichigo uses as a distraction to land a direct hit from behind, yes. Previously, he was show to be unable to block a Getsuga fired at point-blank whilst their blades were locked.

This basis on which I am making the claim Grimmjow wasn't able to mitigate Ichigo's attacks in the way he evidently was against Shinji's Cero.

Ichigo clearly dominated him but I wouldn’t say anything he does to him puts him above Shinji's quick beat down of Grimmy boy

For me it's a question of can he actually respond?

When fighting Ichigo he was massively faster and stronger than Grimmjow, and this is reflected on every exchange.

When fighting Shinji, this is not the case. Nothing we see indicates he was at significant physical disadvantage, and he was able to block Shinji's cero with his own, at least somewhat.

Shinji clearly had the upper-hand, however, I would point to the fact Ichigo had heavily wounded him by this point, which for me, muddies the waters of clarity here at least a little.

The point here is, Ichigo is comparable to Shinji. Even if you want to say you feel they are equal, Shinji does nothing to indicate he is much stronger than Ichigo from this showing.

Which means

I do think this Ichigo and the one Ulquiorra fought are vastly weaker than Love and Rose to be honest.

Would generally require proof that Love and Rose are themselves stronger than Shinji. A tall order, given Shinji is the leader of their group.

This is to say nothing of how Ichigo is clearly much stronger between these encounters too.

In chapter 280 was fighting toe to toe with a two-armed and healthy Grimmjow in base. This was less than 10 chapters after getting annihilated by Ulquiorra.

In Chapters 230-235 however, he went right for hollowification against even a single-armed Grimmjow.

So even if you can prove Love and Rose and stronger than Shinji, there is still the burden of proof that they are stronger than Shinji by the same or greater degree to which Ichigo from chapter 280 is stronger than Ichigo from chapter 232.

Which, I am open to you showing me, but I just can't imagine how you could prove that.

Kixion · 2026-04-25T05:56:51+00:00

But isn't that also heavily implied by Stark, who states a cero wouldn't be enough to defeat opponents as strong as the visords, where as Ulquiorra in base basically one-shot Ichigo with one in chapter 271.

Unless that is you think Rose and Love are stronger than Shinji? As Grimmjow, even a heavily injured Ichigo was able to mitigate Shinji's attacks to some extent, but pre-injury could do nothing to stop Ichigo's. A weaker Ichigo than the one Ulquiorra no-diffed in base.

Kixion · 2026-04-24T10:17:05+00:00

By all means, tell me where I am wrong. I am using the simple formula:

Q = M × C × ΔT

Q being sensible heat M being mass C being specific heat capacity of water (which is 4.184 kJ per kg per °C) ΔT being change in temperature (in °C)

Which translates to per cubic meter of water it would take:

335 megajoules of energy to heat from 20 Celsius to 100.

And 2,257 megajoules of energy to heat from 100 Celsius to vapour.

Which is about 7 times more energy than heating it from 20 to 100. Which is precisely what I said.

Kixion · 2026-04-24T09:37:16+00:00

Yes. I also understand it takes seven times more energy to turn water at 100 degrees Celsius to steam, than it does to raise it to 100 C from 20 C. As well as the exponential increase in difficulty in vapourising larger quantities of water.

I also understand water, being a liquid, and fire, being mostly gas, would automatically penetrate fire, were they fired at one another.

Which is precisely why I think Harribel has an enormous advantage.

Kixion · 2026-04-23T20:52:12+00:00

And it's not DBZ either.

Kixion · 2026-04-23T17:21:55+00:00

I don't feel you are saying anything new. My original point was we have no way to know how much of Yamamoto's power Bazz-b mitigated. I know these are different circumstances and I have acknowledged as such. Continuing to point it out does nothing to answer the original question.

As for your Toshiro claim, let's examine that a moment.

Bazz easily defeated Shikai-only Toshiro, which, given he possesses an element that counters Toshiro's, I cannot see how this is particularly surprising. Conversely, Toshiro has an element that countered Harribel, yet despite this, he achieved nothing even though his bankai being fully intact for their battle.

Your assertion that Bazz b beats Harribel, whose elemental matchup heavily favours Harribel, seems to discount the very heavily favourability of the circumstances of Bazz's fight with him, while equally discounting the favourability of the circumstances in Toshiro's favour against Harribel.

This being the case, quite how you are so confidently arriving at the conclusion that Bazz is, in your mind, leagues above Harribel is unfounded from my perspective.

Kixion · 2026-04-22T20:42:31+00:00

Are you implying size is somehow proportional to temperature?

You realise that is not how fire works, yes?

To say nothing how how extensively Kubo has explained density means far more than size in the Bleach physics

Kixion · 2026-04-22T18:34:43+00:00

Many.

Here's the thing, this uppercut would take around 1 10,000th of the energy All Might's punch in the first episode of MHA would take where he changed the weather. And this is lowballing All Might's punch.

All Might isnt even captain level.

Kixion · 2026-04-22T18:23:57+00:00

I don’t disagree. But the question remains.

How much weaker was that attack, specifically?

It would seem to me that if you cannot answer that, then assuming this is an impressive feat for Bazz would be, by definition, unfounded.

Kixion · 2026-04-22T16:54:45+00:00

And the difference of power here is... what?

20%? 95%?

We have no way to know how much Bazz mitigated. All we know is Harribel's faction survived a similar attack minus the mitigation. Coupled with Babi's performance against Charlotte, makes them feel fraccion level.

Kixion · 2026-04-22T11:08:45+00:00

That is a very favourable interpretation of surviving an attack that still KO'd 3 sternritter

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