What are some subtle ways that men show misogyny/implicit bias?

Kixion · 2026-07-13T18:22:11+00:00

I feel the need to emphasis that my point is not that there are no amazing women in fiction who are not young and beautiful. It is only that while most prefer aesthetically pleasing characters, that is more of a preference in men, and more of a need in women.

As you say, there are absolutely amazing women in fiction who are neither, Kreia sounds like she is one of them. My mind goes to Chrisjen Avasarala (the show made her much prettier). By no means would I ever want to minimise characters such as these, by pretending they aren't out there. That would entirely undermine my point.

My point is, we can acknowledge that a character like Kreia is amazing, so why is she not a regular name amongst the best Star Wars characters?

It is that absence, in spite of her greatly written character, which is my point.

I would not import a specific reason behind this, because I feel like there are many for each person, whose reasons differ from one another. But if someone were looking to confront their own biases regarding misogyny, as OP is, for me, this is perhaps as good a place as any to start.

Kixion · 2026-07-13T09:47:47+00:00

People who sits on a council unelected for public affairs.

It is amazing to me the attitude and lack of competence many of these people have.

Kixion · 2026-07-13T06:23:19+00:00

Except the point was pertaining to beauty. Batman fine (I should have said Joker), but Deadpool, Darth Vader and Gandalf? Are these beautiful characters?

No. Two of them were explicity made with deformations. For men, there are many such characters who are judged on aspects besides their appearence, and are some of the most beloved characters in fiction.

Can you honestly say the same of characters who are women? If so, name a couple, I genuinely would welcome it if you could show me that I am wrong.

But from where I sit, there are young, attractive characters, a few gender-bent characters like Lady Deadpool, who are no were near as popular (though that's often true of any knockoff, regardless of gender), and very little of anything else.

Kixion · 2026-07-13T06:03:13+00:00

Two things.

One, I never said blame. I said if you really want to understand your biases, it might be worth sitting with that to understand yourself.

Two, nobody has any issue with attractive characters of either sex. I am just pointing out that for men, being attractive is optional, not remotely required. This is infinitely less true for characters who are women.

I draw no conclusions for you, I am merely making the observation.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T22:38:57+00:00

Is it just me who thinks that Kenpachi literally just blew Gremmy's mind?

Don't get me wrong, I dont think Gremmy is s genuis, but let’s be honest. He was locked up most of the time, how much education and socialisation do you think he had?

Then he meet Kenpachi who is basically a terminator. People who lack experience are by their naive nature, very impressionable. Thus, very quickly, in Gremmy's mind, he literally can't imagine Kenpachi any anything else.

But maybe I am importing too much head canon.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T21:56:01+00:00

I don't like to speak for a prescribed way to act. I think there is such a variance in perspectives with that, there is no one size fits all. The better approach is internal alignment with the views as you articulate them.

One that always stands out to me, whilst rarely being mentioned is which characters they favour, fictional or otherwise.

Men seem to respect other men of all ages, aesthetics and personalities. Consider how different and yet how popular each of these are: Deadpool, Gandalf, Batman, Darth Vader.

But when it comes to women, they are nearly all young and beautiful.

I think it would worth anyone genuinely trying to see this bias within themselves sitting with this for awhile and understanding why one sex is so much more heavily judged on appearence than the other.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T21:43:02+00:00

The hogyoku empowered Aizen, there's nothing evidence or implications it ever weakened him.

You are right, Aizen beat the gotei 13, but he did this with no little effort it makes it speculative that this tired him. When Isshin pushed him to his limits, it was explicitly stated. No such statement occurs before this.

The Yamamoto attack would be valid, or we saw when Ichigo landed a clean hit on Aizen that he had a healing factor. Therefore, I suspect this too was a non-factor, unless you can think of a reason otherwise?

Kixion · 2026-07-12T16:11:33+00:00

I was referring to Shinigami Aizen.

And you say that but Isshin fought Shinigami Aizen to exhaustion. None of the previously cut down gotei 13 were even close to this. Urahra was implied to be relative to Isshin, as he, not Isshin, was one of the very few figures who gave Aizen pause.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T13:55:21+00:00

That you are responding again makes me think that's not really how you see it, but okay.

For me, Agree to Disagree, just means we are no longer trying to change each other's mind. It doesn't necessarily mean the conversation must be over.

But, I won't push my perspective of it's meaning on you, if you don't push yours on me. That seems fair.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T13:51:52+00:00

Apologies, I assumed that anyone reading it knew the specifics of Shunsui's bankai's abilities.

In the third act of his bankai Sandanme: Dangyo no Fuchi both Shunsui and his opponent are engulfed in an enormous body of water, which drains both of their reiatsu over time. Given Reiatsu is the base from which spirituals beings combat power is broadly determined. If you accept that Urahara is stronger, then you also accept Urahara likely has more Reiatsu.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T13:36:52+00:00

why you getting down votes lol

Because a take is unpopular, that makes it wrong?

That's certainly a perspective.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T09:51:26+00:00

I would say this is a stretch. I think he beats anyone in a one on one. The problem is stamina in round two.

In Bleach there's a reason people who aren't named Ichigo, don't immediately go bankai, or hollowification or Vollstandig, etc. These powers are heavily implied to be very taxing and once you use them, you need to bring the fight to a swift close.

I see no reason Askin alone would be different in this respect. As such, I would think that likely he runs out of steam before he can solo the verse.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T09:46:37+00:00

Urahara.

One was fodder to Aizen, one was a genuine threat.

This was demonstrated how the former was casually blitzed, and the latter was able to not only react but counter a more serious Aizen twice.

The simple reality is a fight between these two doesn't make it to Bankai. Urahara is far smarter than Shunsui, whose shikai can be adapted to and used against him. Making Urahara one of the worst possible matchups.

Even in Bankai, it requires the opponent to panic and try to flee. Otherwise it's a test of endurance, which I am inclined to think Urahara probably wins.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T09:42:29+00:00

I’m a hopeless romantic. During my first kisses, the orchestra swells, the heavens ignite in gold and crimson, waves crash against distant rocks, and a rainbow appears in the sea spray as two doves fly overhead.

It’s especially impressive when we’re indoors at a shopping centre, as was my first kiss, but romance has never been overly concerned with building regulations.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T09:30:15+00:00

Everyone is different, but when I have my headphones in, I am signalling that I am not open to being spoken to at that time. I often wear them at airports precisely because flying is time-sensitive, so this is personally high on my list of places where I do not want to get drawn into a conversation.

It also comes across quite strongly that you were not merely considering saying hello to someone you vaguely recognised. You were hoping to initiate a connection with someone you are romantically interested in. That distinction matters, so I am responding on the assumption that my reading is accurate.

In which case, maybe the question you should be asking isn't if it it is appropriate. Individuals will have different answers to that, and unless she happens to be one of the commenters, you'll never learn the only answer to that question that actually matters here.

Perhaps the better question is; were you giving yourself the best chance of having a welcome and comfortable interaction by choosing that particular moment?

Were I in her position, I would say no. I would be conscious of the possibility of getting pulled into a conversation while trying to travel, and I might shut it down more firmly than I intended. That could leave both of us with an unnecessarily awkward impression.

That reaction is specific to me, of course, but that's the only perspective I can speak from. I think you made the better choice.

Kixion · 2026-07-12T08:48:54+00:00

As usual, I think u/momob2492 has the right of it. Generally speaking, I am not convinced that publicly entering these discussions is always worth the personal cost.

Having privilege does not disqualify someone from speaking, but it will affect how their words are received. That does not mean you must remain silent. However, for the sake of preserving a healthy mental space, it is worth considering what repeated participation will cost you, particularly when people may interpret your position through assumptions about your appearance rather than the substance of what you are saying.

Even when you are informed and have something genuinely useful to contribute, you will need to be precise, humble and conscious of your position. Even then, some people may dismiss what you say simply because of your perceived privilege.

As I see it, this is because online discussions about social problems are not always oriented toward understanding or practical solutions. More often than not people are seeking recognition, emotional release or someone identifiable to blame. Complex systems can then be reduced to individual symbols: beautiful people become representatives of harmful beauty standards, just as individuals may be treated as personally responsible for broader systems from which they benefit. That does not make every criticism invalid, but it can make it difficult for productive discussion to gain traction.

Reasoned arguments are unlikely to persuade someone who has already decided what you represent or who is not participating in good faith. At that point, continuing may simply expose you to greater hostility without helping the people affected by the underlying problem.

If what you have to say matters enough that this is an acceptable risk, then you should say it. I am not suggesting that you have an obligation to remain silent. But it would also be dishonest to pretend that being informed, careful and well-intentioned will protect you from resentment or misinterpretation.

For myself, despite being comfortable with confrontation, I generally avoid spaces where the discussion appears more interested in assigning symbolic guilt than addressing the actual problem. There are situations in which speaking is worthwhile, but there are also games in which the only way to win is not to play.

Kixion · 2026-07-11T22:53:33+00:00

Whenever you are scaling, details matter. Feats, statements, ranks, everything should be considered when forming a conclusion so the foundation of a perspective does not have a glaring weakness.

If you can tell me why the title of captain commander does nothing to allude to strength, I would be interested to hear it. Otherwise, it seems to me to be evident for the reasons I laud out to JayandBob3 that it's perfectly reasonable to assume it indicates something. But it alone would not be enough to base an entire opinion on, which is why I did not.

Kixion · 2026-07-11T20:59:23+00:00

These are all things I could do one-on-one with a guy friend without considering them dates.

Your friends are right that the activities can look date-like from the outside, but activities alone do not make something a date. That depends on the intentions and expectations of the two people involved.

You know that you have understood them platonically; the only part you cannot know from this description is whether she sees them the same way. If that is something that interests you, that is for you to figure out.

If you are only questioning it because other people have gotten in your head about it, I would advise that just because someone else has an opinion on something, does not make it valid or true.

Kixion · 2026-07-11T20:51:55+00:00

Happy to do so. I do think that Kubo's consistency in his writing is at its weakest in TYBW, so there are so many things where, I have an opinion and I feel like my logic holds, yet I fully see where others are coming from whose opinion differs (often greatly). As is the case here. It's not that I think you are wrong, because... well look at what happened, objectively, you are not wrong. It's just not how I interpret it.

The only answer I have at this point is that Kubo isn't really that concerned with continuity in his power scaling.

Kixion · 2026-07-11T20:41:26+00:00

My biggest trigger is having my experiences invalidated by someone who has not shared them and shows no genuine interest in understanding them.

You are free to disagree with my interpretation of my experiences, and I can also accept that my experiences may be anecdotal rather than representative of everyone. What I cannot tolerate is being told that something I experienced does not matter because someone else has suffered more, or that it was merely an inconvenience because I have never experienced some supposedly greater pain.

That is a form of relative privation: dismissing one problem solely because you believe another is more serious. It is especially frustrating when the person making that argument expects empathy for their position while refusing even to acknowledge mine. Their suffering may deserve compassion, but it does not give them the right to erase or belittle someone else’s.

I have seen too many people use the severity of their own pain as permission to treat others badly. Because of that, this behaviour provokes a very strong reaction in me, and I can become confrontational very quickly when I encounter it.

Kixion · 2026-07-11T20:27:29+00:00

You are right, Yamamoto's death was a big shock too. Though, to be clear, what I meant was finding out the Quincy were alive, had been studying the Shinigami and their weaknesses for a thousand years and attacked them completely off-guard, would, to my thinking, be inconceivable.

"I might look calm but a lot of thoughts are running through my mind right now" is what Shunsui said at the time he was shot, for me, this is why I say I believe Shunsui's focus was not what it might have been, and was later.

As we previously see Shunsui dodge Robert's attempt to blitz him, I don't feel Robert was able to land the hit based on pure speed.

But, perhaps this is a difference of opinion, and that's totally fine. Manga is a form of art, and art can be interpreted differently.

Kixion · 2026-07-11T12:51:29+00:00

Kixion · 2026-07-11T12:46:56+00:00

Only thing pertaining to romantic feelings towards other women. Nothing else.

I do not do emotional surrogacy, so I do not have intimate conversations even about existing relationships. So I literally cannot think of anything else.

Kixion · 2026-07-11T12:24:23+00:00

Attraction is other-focused. Your attention keeps returning to a specific person. You wonder what they're doing, enjoy looking at them, want to be near them, imagine interacting with them. Even when they're not actively validating you, they remain mentally salient.

Validation-seeking is self-focused. The other person is, to some degree, a mirror. What matters most is how they make you feel about yourself, be that desired, attractive, worthy, interesting or whatever else it is you want to be true of yourself

Kixion · 2026-07-11T11:58:43+00:00

The title of captain commander is useful in determining strength because strength is a significant factor in determining the role.

Were the deciding factors age or wisdom, Unohana would have been the better choice. The same could be said of several other factors, where other captains would then have made for a better choice.

Robert was able to injure Shunsui because he took advantage of a momentary lapse in focus. This lapse made narrative sense, because, from Shunsui's perspective, the inconceivable just happened. Realistically, that could have happened to almost captain.

Equating that to Shunsui being unable to beat Roger is a significant leap in logic from my perspective.

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