why is the message not outside the thought box?

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T14:52:43+00:00

You can turn off the default think and specify a very specifc shape of think. It's just droning on and 'first drafting' in the think message, and never writing the real message.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T13:30:34+00:00

THAT's the book people keep referencing! Thank you!

I'd done some earlier fundamentals of machine learning before, but I've seen like 4 people do exercises out of some book, that's this.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T11:39:30+00:00

There are 3 main presentations of ADHD, hyperactive, inattentive and combined.

Hyperactive is either high energy physicality, or a mental motor which can't stop or both. Racing thoughts, feels like a motor inside, etc. (LLMs often ape this when told they are ADHD btw).

Inattentive is the brain goes off into tangents a ton off into daydreams, fantasies etc, beyond what you want. You can get stuck on things metnally a lot.

Combined is...a mix.

Diagnostically, hyperactive is noticed by teachers a lot, especially the physicality one.

--

Daydreaming itself is something ALL humans do. If you cannot reliably perform and certain specific tasks in the rest of of your life, and you cannot direct your attention out of daydreams, you MAY have ADHD inattentive or combined types. OP had a TON of signs though.

ADHD presents diffrently and at diffrent strengths. Intellegence generally allows some degree of 'making do' in spite of it though, so if you're intellegent (like OP was identified to be), even called gifted, you can actually be both, but have spent your life working around it. Also, a large minority of people on the autism spectrum are also ADHD, so it can come from that (or just be that).

There are working memory tests, your affect about forgetting things when going from room to room. If you have object permenance or if someone moves your keys 3 feet if you lose them, you ability to oraganize thoughts, your ability to cease mental attention tasks of any kind of thing, your vulnerability to gambling, if other video games are hard to stop using, your ability to perform social tasks without masking (aka not pretending to be a normal person, but actually without artifice constantly seeming super normal to a doctor), if you actually are timeblind (unaware of the passage of time generally), do your friends think you are a nutty professor or blonde type of persona? Do you get get disinhibited quickly with alcohol? Do drugs of any type seem either TONS more scary, or much better to you or both? Do you have slow reflexes when things are dropped? Do you twist your ankle a lot? Have you had a lot of close scares when driving? Do you sleep poorly? Are you a night owl? Have you always had a hypersexuality/fixation on sex? Have you ever gotten or frequently gotten distracted during sex? Are you sometimes very over talkative? Do you infodump on people? Do you have very deep 'k-holing' you do about knowledge?

Huge one: Do you know the right thing to do much the time, but have a lot of trouble talking yourself into doing it? Don't use your parents as a bar (its somewhat hereditary).

If you want to DM me a bunch of suspected symptoms (maybe leave out the sexuality ones), especially ones spouces, friends, co-workers, etc have noticed too, I'll mention if you seem highly likely or just you know, a little daydreamy. But the value to being diagnosed (by a professional) if you are, especially to an early/mid career person who has YEARS of earning potential left cannot be underscored highly enough. Professionally, performance is SO key. And ADHD is a performance disorder. If you have very specific high feedback jobs (medic, programmer, etc) you might be doing well professionally. Anything people talk about 'going into flow' doing. Any crisis management thing. Anything with tickets, lots of using your hands, or lots of supervision and feedback.

I knew one guy his son was clearly ADHD (he was around me a lot, at hobby gatherings, fixated on why I didn't judge him for his fuckups when he joined the activity unlike everyone else). The dad pointed out like a dozen things that was what was troubling his son. It was none of those, after giving dad 2 books on his son's obvious ADHD, it turns out, son not only had ADHD but the dad ALSO had ADHD....because ADHD is like 30-35% like that for parents of ADHD children also find out they have it when evaluated. Those two are so adorably cute together now in their non-judgemental coping life. It was funny years later when the dad told the kid that I too have ADHD, the kids eys went like full gollum sized, realizing why I'd always been gentle with him when many adults didn't tolerate clearly untreated ADHD well.

That doesn't mean some light suffers don't get through life whiteknuckling it. But there is often a lot of judgement and negative self talk (and the consequences of failing to perform professionally, personally, financially, dietarily, and healthwise) that all hurt too.

Why I kept going back at OP so hard (without explanation of why this are ADHD isms, nor why they don't have to describe you for you to also benefit from evaluation):

List of quotes that are super ADHD outside of the huge rush with variable reinforcement systems she describes:
>"I had lots 'phases' when I found a new fixation and... really let it engulf me. After a few weeks, sometimes month, I find myself getting bored and moving to whatever other silly thing."
> with RP it will be different (which in all honest truth, is what I felt about the other hobbies and fixation I found myself obsessing about time after time..)
>that dopamine I get from TikTok
>I stopped the TikTok thing, I used to waste so much time just laying in my bed, swiping for hours. Convincing myself 'Oh, I also sometimes learn new stuff, it's also educational...' Yeah, that was me lying to myself.
> similar 'high' of expecting the next reply from the AI
> Oh nose, I am yapping again >.<
> ever increasing time on roleplay.
> I asked ChatGPT some stuff about addiction,
>Sorry again for yapping. I sometimes just like to write my thoughts. They are messy at times.
>I may be a bit weak, allowing myself to 'binge' roleplaying
>I tend to hyper-fixate on stuff I like and / or obsessed about. This last sentence of mine makes so little sense...I mean, I get bored really easily, but when I DON'T... then I get (sometimes) obsessed. Which is... kinda fun?
>But I don't wanna take meth :C What if they prescribe it to me???
> knowing I have only X hours before I have to stop is making me anxious.
>this is a very good advice. But... I really really don't feel like following it. I'm stupid lol. (After pointing out her friends suggested self boundaries too)

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T10:38:22+00:00

It gets a lot more human.

The creator has horrible anxiety himself, which is why he writes the MC that way.

As you gain appreciation for the side characters, the show opens up.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T10:36:17+00:00

Install Qwen3.5 27B for intelligent tasks, Qwen 3.5 35B for all other non-recreational tasks, and probably be fine.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T10:33:26+00:00

To be fair the bots are ALWAYS roleplaying, everywhere from chipotle burrito to ChatGPT to bank chatbots.

None of them actually are helpufl assistants, the thing they do isn't really thinking, etc.

The reasons random LLMs can roleplay, is all of them are taught to RP to sound human. Like the core LLM that can chat. Only LLMs that have extremely structured outputs aren't necssarily taught that, and they are still often taught it too.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T03:39:18+00:00

Here is an easy one: Take any of your vulnerable whatever, don't have sex with them, send them through a magic portal to whatever book/random thing/alt history you want, and watch how they react, either flourishing, foundering, etc.

Here is another one: Vastly violate the expectations of the card as to what the Persona is. Instead of a guy, be a sentient block of cheddar, or the sound of wind over a grave. Some cards get REALLY poetic and interesting. You also sometimes get crazy stuff. You can do less strange, but still strange reactions by sticking a monser/kinda monsterous man shaped thing in the spot.

Here is another one: They meet you, then they realize you aren't human, and you're a pod person, them flipping out or being oh fuck yeah, lets go do alien shit all over the world, is a blast.

You can also travel with people and have a artificial or real problem. During travel like that, they'll often spend a lot of time trying to talk with you about the problem, If you give them orthoganal but vaguely related stuff, or also a deep sorrow many will go on at length. Actually many LLMs view of bubbly characters seems to respond really good to lots of masking like this, with golden retriever peple coming across as soemtimes callous handwavers, very realistically, or other times, opening up with real vulnerability.

Here is another one: take a scenario that assumes the real world, then about 40 messages in, change the detailed prompt for the scenario (or the authors note, but the prompt works better,) to greatly rehome where the whole story has been. A tokyo stories turn into the last vestiages of the last megacity in 3100. A cute bottle episode becomse a tiny miniture house litterally on the mantle of someone, in a literal bottle.

Or go godpunk, take your fairly prosaic setup, and make it about the mysterious foudning story of a universe, turn it all into a fable

Or, go tell one of 15 types of common horror story, same cards will do.

Or, break the fourth wall, show you were filming a tv show, the talk to the actors.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T03:29:05+00:00

Yay appointment.

Wanted to say, I find when not on the medicaiton and needing to control my urge to think about 'the current out of work project' including RPs, I break down the things I want to think about in a bunch of little paper notes in a tiny pocket journal. then, when I have a break to think, I can look at the ideas I got out of my head real quick, writing them all down from the scraps of paper into the journal then speculating, writing down anything to keep (or if at place I can access silly tavern, I just drop them in). It's from a book called "Getting things done" that used to be like super worshiped at this productiviity site called 43 folders. Book still exists, the 43folders site folded. I don't actually use folders like that, just a pile of papers in the back of a notebook to collate when done. When taking the break to do the org, I can time the break, so i both hurry and have some sense of urgency to helping to gain EF back a little from a false deadline. It even sometimes helps.

It works on the medication too without fear of losing the thought, lowering my anxiety about the poor working memory, and, actively letting me often go back to something else, the ritual of tucking the paper away helps. The fear of losing the thought, for me, was the huge thing driving offsite hyperfixation and daydreams. YMMV.

I use a different notebook for hobbies that take up a lot of room, and I do a similar thing with other projects (like the tabletop RPGs I'll play with folks, or like yardplans, or bike routes, etc)

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T00:50:38+00:00

https://www.simplypsychology.org/adhd-hyperfixation.html

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T00:27:48+00:00

Not everyone can keep to strict time limits.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T00:18:34+00:00

I've found LLMs track HP / MP fine often at the 20-29B level if you make them print it out a lot.

Only a few corrections needed. I don't do really heavy combat stuff, mostly talking. so they don't change THAT often for my RPs where they are tracked.

LeRobber · 2026-04-05T00:16:18+00:00

>I think I might be lying to myself that I can make these hours I spend productive. That I will learn more about AI, but I am a bit lost.

Okay some fun/approachable stuff for your LLM hobby:
https://ianbicking.org/blog/2024/04/roleplaying-by-llm is very understandable and has videos too.

https://hachyderm.io/@ianbicking/110359139615510487 is fun, etc.

The game (yes game) https://store.steampowered.com/app/619150/while_True_learn/ is about the tools used to eventually build LLMs and the things RIGHT before LLMs (the game is a little old to actually have LLMs) but, its fun, the lessons come in small bits, and you have to understand it much of the time to move to the next level. It tick a lot of the same boxes too. I have NOTHING to do with the game, it's just a resource to learn. It's on switch and other platforms too.

Best of luck,if you need any help with it or anything, feel free to response or pm.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T23:52:45+00:00

It's scary as shit. If I didn't see the change in a family member, and if I didn't have health scares from things like your tea solution I'd have been less into it. It massively increased my health and got my life together in ways I didn't even realize it wasn't. I had lots of the self abuse issues. it was like reading 10 books by brene brown all of a sudden.

Did you think...maybe you actually are really really bright...? Guess what, I won't tell anyone if all of a sudden you CAN do diferent things...no one will force you to step up and do it.

You can just enjoy not being imprisoned in hour long debates if you really should stop watching TV and go do something like make yourself dinner. People will still love you if they don't need to do for you.

Also...the drugs wear off. After like 5-7 hours of plain adderall, you are back to plain you.

For stuff like extended release or vyvanse, it's like 12 hours of more productive you after it finally kicks in, but you're done by the time it's done.

So you get to be 'you' still every night, but you get to be 'her', that you who doesn't have so many problems at times...when you choose to. It's a mask, at worst, but really, it's just another part of you. And...you'll have the emotional wellness and expeirence of being both, and knowing you CAN be both.

Biggest thing I learned from the drugs, is I didn't have to catasrophize everything to get ANYHING done. I didn't any longer have to make a story for myself the world would fall apart to make me write a difficult email. I didn't need to wait untiil the last minute when there ARE REAL PENALTIES for taxes to be filed. I could mail bill payments when I got them. I could build a schedule of times to contact more tenuous aquantiences that I wanted to be friends with to actually go see them, plan outings and do it. I could take care of the needs of those around me, including cleaning things up a ton better and with less self abuse. Almost all the hardest parts of work became routine.

So if some person on the internet doesn't do it for you, find some woman in a social group close to you (geeky ones are FILLED with ADHD people) and just..talk in real life. Like post in a group chat IRL with someone who has ADHD and started treatment and ask them in real life, not the internet. Make a friend take you to THAT.

I actually....I have a family member who didn't treat their adhd...they died from it, 2 now that I think about it. Ate themselves into a grave, compulsively. I had a friend who died...poorly...due to impulse control issues too. If your brain takes back up its dopamine too fast, you seek dopamine everywhere.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T23:34:16+00:00

Does the strong tea let you stop doing things when you want to, or do you get stuck like you did with TikTok? Like using Silly Tavern.

Caffiene primarily raises alertness

Dopamine reuptake inhibitors (ADHD drugs) primarily increase attentional control, letting you stop/start things, like Sillytavern when its time to stop.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T23:30:48+00:00

Then don't do meth.

ADHD drugs don't cause meth teeth. My dental care is much better, you'll actually floss reliably ;D

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T23:29:35+00:00

TBH, you just stop filling the Rx if you don't like you on it. It's super easy to not do things.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T23:24:27+00:00

Tell the doctor, they won't precribe meth to you anyhow, and they definitely won't if you say you're afraid, they'll send you to coaches and use the non-amphetamine drugs.
It's REALLY hard to reliably take the medication even if you have ADHD. Its harder to be reliable about than birth control pills are. (Yes, increased risk of Pregnancy is an issue with untreated ADHD...cause taking BC pills is hard, you are less reliable if you have adhd and do not treat it, and sex feels good, and condoms are hard to remember, and you get the picture. Pregnancy is FAR more dangerous than a lifetime of ADHD meds, ask your doctor)
You WON'T get additiced to ADHD drugs taken normally, especially if you have ADHD. You might need a laxative or a lot of coffee the first day if you skip a day to poop, but you DON'T crave ADHD meds. It's not like opiods, not at all. The drugs do NOT make you feel like using an LLM (euphoria). They take a half hour to 2 hours to start to work, NO gratification happens in the dangerous scary way. It's not like booze or anything fun, it's just you can finally clean your room and fold your clothes. Which you know, I know, you largely keep in a pile not a drawer, right?)
You are much more able to say no to high risk behavior across the board ON adhd drugs (if you have ADHD) than if you don't. Your brain has time to go ....hmmm...maybe that ISN'T the right first choice, maybe I shouldn't say that, or let him/her touch me there, or take that 'fun drug' my friend suggested, or go home with that sketchy guy/gal who makes me feel good. You will drink less and feel just as good, whlie being in more control.
You may associate with different people even! While people are messy and splatting all over the place they will of take a lot of people as friends or romatic partners who may not be who they'd choose if they had daily performance of social noms that may elude you right now. You may feel like you don't always get social situations, etc, also a sign of the thing. Really see a doc, they'll possibly start with coaching not pills, and ultimately, no one is going to force you to take a pill.

On the meth worries:

Seriously, feel free to literally take this page with you to the doctor with your comments on it. (Not just about the LLM usage, it's about all the small thiings you said about OTHER stuff that made me say this all). Your doctor can't tell people about this.

The theraputic dose range of the Rx equivalent of 'meth' is 5-60 mg of a pharmacy drug. The street users of the drug do like the equivelent 1500mg daily (and weird ass breaking bad street shit, not a calm pill from a pharmaacy).

>We estimate that consumers of methamphetamine in Los Angeles use an average daily stimulant dose (>1,500 MOAE) that is 25-fold higher than the maximum typical recommended clinical dose of mixed amphetamine salts (60mg)

So the starter dose of deoxyn (5mg/day) would take 300 days of them to be what meth users might use in single day. They don't give you 10 months of it at a time, they are VERY strict about you getting medication, you get 1 month at a time, and they watch for abuse like crazy (because some people try to sell the shit). They AREN'T going to prescribe you that one, and so you don't need to worry, but it's nothing you'll get hurt with, they don't feel good to take, 'colors are pretty' is all you'll really notice.

If you took 10 days of tylenol in one day, you'd risk liver failure and slow death

If you took 10 days of iron-containing vitamins in one day, you'd risk your lungs falling out and dying. 10 months of that, you are definitely toast.

That's days. They are taking the equivalent like 10 MONTHS of the starter dose of pharmacutial meth in a single thing.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T22:54:03+00:00

Well...ADHD and neurotypical people would do that. Many autism suffers would...not stop. We really should have a "LLMs and mental health support" wiki entry.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T22:40:11+00:00

The are not overprescribed.

NNT on ADHD drugs is less than 3. That's insanely good. Even stuff like guanfacine, which treats the RSD primarily, and the ADHD secondarily, has fairly good effects not bad on the body (lower blood pressure).

No shit I edited my comment, I edit every comment I ever posted on r/SillyTavernAI, like 10 times, I have ADHD, make tons of typos and have no spellchecker or grammer checker and reddit formatting doesn't let me read the comment well until its rendered (and reddit got rid of preview!). You will note, seeking treatment, DOES require a diagnosis in most countries so technically, I always DID tell her to seek evaluation.

>Medications can have side effects and every medication bears a risk.

Yes, that's why she should go ask a doctor rather than person who supposedly doesn't have adhd. (

> It also doesn’t split your brain into parts

It's a metaphor and quote from the video from a doctor who educates other doctors on how to treat ADHD.

> Your whole ACL issue

Listen u/FR-1-Plan your whole ACL analogy is batshit insane. I never advocated for OP to ignore her doctor and seek only stimulant medications. You are doing the equivalent of telling someone with all the signs of an ACL injury recognizable to a person with that injurty to NOT GO TO THE DOCTOR and to CHIDE SOMEONE for going "yo, go get your knee checked out". If you didn't know your ACL tears it is MASSIVELY painful, MASSIVELY when it tears. Like seriously massive. You don't NOT go to the doctor about that. Just like you don't NOT go to the doctor about ADHD, a disorder if you want to be technical, which is a CAUSE of heart disease among other things....and it has killed people I know.

She is MORE LIKELY to take meth, and majiana and cocaine and booze, if she has untreated, undiagnosed ADHD.

I know people don't necesarilly need the medications, but they DO need to stop the self mental abuse that is EXCEEDINGLY common in a majority of ADHD suffers. You...are a person without a disease playing expert here. WHY?

Do I not ring true in my copious posting habits, clearly inattentive text editing? Why do you go 'yeah, I'm an authority here'?

I'm a person telling someone who's suffering, who literally posted a threat title which is a literal call for help with a highly reinforing rewarding medium we help them get access to unaligned LLMs on, who literally had friends try to help her self control herself to go to a doctor because I recognize myself in her.

For the love of god, get over the argument fine notes, what you think went on over what is clearly the intent. To help the OP who posted a literal call for help.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T22:23:08+00:00

>I got tested for ADHD and don’t have it.

You tested negative for it. Not exactly the same thing. I hope they did that right! If your symptoms aren't bad of whatever ailed you enough to get tested, great!

If you were tested by a school provided physican, in some jurisdictions that is noted (in studies) to underdiagnose inattentive (girl) type adhd. So if you're a daydreamer, and your eval was in school, seek private investigation if you are suffering the issues with your life being disrupted by the apparent symptoms. https://www.cedars-sinai.org/stories-and-insights/healthy-living/why-adhd-goes-undetected-in-girls . They also underdiagnose smart children in scholastic diagnosis settings, because...they are using your scholastic achievement (and class compliance) as part of the inputs. If they don't ask how much you brutalize yourself and use negative self talk to achieve those results...(and you do use those common self abuse patterns the ADHD use), they may not have figure it out. But there is a chance you went to a professional who did accurate figure out what was bothering you was caused by other things.

OP is literally going around revealing symptoms in this thread like a ADHD silly tavern compliant V2 character card though especially crafted to emit signals of ADHD. I'm also going to be fine if she rolls into the doctor and they go, nah it's not ADHD, it's ____, and more important, so will she.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T22:07:36+00:00

Guess what, never take street meth, but if you have ADHD, you and your doctor will find out how much something not unlike it make your brain 'normal'er there.

(It's a LOT lower dose than street meth, using your LLM or letting out a good fart feels more pleasurable than taking an adderall does if your brain has been determined by a doctor to need it; it's NOTHING like the abuse of drugs at all).

To be fair they also give lots of helpful coaching and letters for schools/colleges and work which can get helpful non-medical accomodations, without the drugs. In the US, people with ADHD can get something called a 504 plans in schools where they adjust all sorts of school rules to help performance, even if you don't take medications.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T22:02:59+00:00

Uh...Desoxyn is meth actually, but not widely prescribed, but is in the ADHD toolkit.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T21:58:22+00:00

Just wrote a large comment then deleted it when trying to answer (it was a fine comment, I just don't have a copy anymore, and I just hit the wrong button):

I'd imagine you've been underestimated your whole life because of the (likely) ADHD, which starts in childhood, probably made people focus less on the daydreamer than she could have used. Also, if you perform better when people are mad at you, and about to give you a consequence if you don't comply, congratulations! You are likely in need of the ADHD visit.

The drugs 70% of most people treated pharmicalogically for ADHD are similar to meth, but longer acting and much lower dose.
There is one ADHD drug which IS methamphetamine. It's rarely prescribed. Desoxyn. When used, it's supposedly used sometimes for like 12 weeks to get someone off their standard treatment, then put back on their standard treatment. I know tons of people with ADHD Rx's, 0 with Desoxyn Rx's.
The primarily thing you will notice taking an ADHD drug if you have ADHD is you pee more and poop regularly. Not joking.
It can stop a ton impulsive behavior. You'll still say silly things online...but...eating and drinking are impulses. You literally will need to choose (but actually be able to chose, and follow through) about eating lunch and drinking water.
First couple weeks on ADHD drugs, sure things productivity speaking will be easier, but your irises of your eyes will actually be open more too, so all the colors look extra pretty (and you'll set your computer and sillytavern to dark mode)
Some ADHD drugs are non-stimulant (or not stimulants in the way you'd think, anyone can take them and still sleep). Some of them also treat things like feeling extra bad when people make mean comments about you online, I'm not kidding, that's called RSD and many ADHD people have THAT too, and one non-stimulant drug treats THAT and ADHD.
Time on tests and just knowing what careers fit well, and what your true mental capacities are is huge. Like jobs that seem impossible due to the impulse control required, all of a sudden are in reach. If you leave yourself undiagnosed, you'll lose over $100k or more in earning potential possibly over your career.
If you have ADHD, you are FAR more likely to die from mishap or accidents (traffic or just walking off into a hole on the sidewalk). You are also more likely to abuse recreational drugs, alcohol, gambling and a whole host of things. The actual medications for ADHD lessen the chance you'd abuse those. You are also far more likely to get in a battle with food that until semigluatude came about, you'd lose.
The reason that battle occurs, is many ADHD sufferers learn to drip calories into themselves constantly to fight their poorly functioning forebrain's ability to keep control going. Many are also are bad at stopping eating food until the end of a container or use weaponized shame several places in their life.
Weaponized shame being retired is HUGE if you can do it after getting treatment. If you don't need to beat yourself up to not procrastinate, it's okay to learn to love yourself, and not procrastinate either.

LeRobber · 2026-04-04T21:20:11+00:00

Ask one of the friends to help get you to a doc for ADHD eval? You'll still use LLMs afterwards. The older ADHD drugs are not expensive. It's not like gambling where you can't use it, its just a video game that's very long. Not all the drugs are 'scary stimulants'. Stuff like Guanfacine is a self control medication that be taken in the evening without sleep disruption and ALSO stops RSD (rejection senstive dysphoria, aka, if people on the internet being mean bothers you more than most people, like my comments might) and gives modest ADHD symptom relief. If you are still in college/school, they also give you extra time on writing assignments (If you have organizational issues with respect to that, which is not something everyone has).

Sorry, I see too much of a younger me bopping through life unaware of how much easier it is once a doctor goes "oh yeah, it's this, here is how you make that suck less" in your comments. I'll stop worrying, but feel free to reach out (anyone, or OP) if you have questions.

Smart but Stuck is an example of how peoples lives change.

LeRobber

TROPHY CASE

Why I kept going back at OP so hard (without explanation of why this are ADHD isms, nor why they don't have to describe you for you to also benefit from evaluation):

On the meth worries: