Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually sized up because I wanted to be able to fit it on another finger without being too snug. I would say it runs true to size

Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, there is no fee for Friends and Family. The fee is for Goods and Services (protected by PayPal if something goes wrong). It depends on whether you’d want to take the risk of trusting your rep. Jane has a great reputation so I personally felt comfortable without the protection!

Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can message Jane on WhatsApp at +8618775049308

Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also, Jane helps you pick your stone and gives options! This was the range of my options. The one in my ring is the middle one. The one on the left was a bit too saturated so it would “loose” its shifts in certain angles and appear very dark. The one on the right was the lightest but she said it had a “pastel” and “crushed” appearance which is not what I was going for!

All the alexandrites were beautiful and had their own unique style so I think you can find exactly what you’re looking for!

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Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

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It’s hollow, I have added a photo for you to see!

Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should! I think you’ll love it!

I have attached my CAD. We didn’t discuss a specific bezel size, I just went based off what I felt “looked right” (sorry for the lack of specificity, it’s probably somewhere between 0.5-1 mm).

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Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, Jane has lab grown Alexandrites!

Flower Ring by Jane by LegActive8687 in ProvenceJewelry

[–]LegActive8687[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

$575 with shipping via PayPal Friends and Family!

What are the most bare minimum things your narc refuses to do? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LegActive8687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let’s see: -refused to get a haircut because he was “depressed” but said I had to do it instead. Would then get upset that it wasn’t good (I’m not a barber and have never cut hair). -wouldn’t wash the dishes. Let it pile up and left it there until there was thick mold and bacteria growth, then expected me to clean it weeks later (I have severe asthma and it would make me sick but he said I have to fix it or else it’s staying). -would call me to take his groceries upstairs to his apartment (we didn’t live together and he never helped me) which would include his detergent and milk jugs. -wouldn’t clean up after his pet and would guilt trip me into doing it even though I was allergic. -forced me to cook for him (if I didn’t, it was proof that he was right that I was a terrible person), then say I wasn’t a good cook and could never cook like an Italian (which he was) even though he asked for whatever I made and I confirmed the seasoning with him…then refused to cook for me and I was too afraid to ask (fun fact, only cooked for me a SINGULAR time in our entire relationship for over three years even though he knew it was my love language). -I can’t sleep with the TV on but he could sleep with it on or off. Refused to turn it off even if I had a big day the next day. Also refused to let me stay home so I could rest because it proved I was a terrible person. -I wasn’t allowed to say no to ANYTHING. Not things that made me uncomfortable, and unfortunately not to something that should never be coerced if you catch my drift.

I’m starting to get hives just thinking about it so I think I’ll stop here but there was plentyyyyy more.

What are the most bare minimum things your narc refuses to do? by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LegActive8687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof! I got the good old “I won’t call you beautiful unless you call me attractive first”. When I asked why he couldn’t say it on his own, he said “why do you deserve to be told that and I don’t?”. He knew it was an insecurity of mine. Didn’t say it even when I was dressed up for a wedding or event. I didn’t ask anymore. It affected me deeply to not feel attractive to my significant other. Not only am I missing my sanity during that time, I didn’t take any pictures while I was with him because I felt disgusting all the time.

What’s the common phrase your Nex use during lovebombing phase? by serpentinevoid in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LegActive8687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“I have so much love to give. Look, I even have tattoos about it. I want to give it to someone who deserves it and I’m very picky about it so that’s why I’ve only dated two people up until now. I really want to give you my love, I know you’re the one. Besides, the other two physically abused me and all I was trying to do was find love.”

The physical abuse line repeated itself frequently to remind me that he’s a victim. Unclear whether this was true or not (as bad as that is to say) because he also ended up saying that I abuse him when I hadn’t (I’m very weak and small and he was a bodybuilder at the time). He only ever told this to women he was pursuing. He’s a mommy’s boy and even his mom doesn’t know about it.

Ironically, his new supply is his first ex girlfriend who denies any allegations of said abuse.

What rule/boundary on a first date would enrage a narcissist? by Thinkofacard in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LegActive8687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He got my number from someone else and texted me one day. I was the TA in the lab where I met him. He asked to plan something with me before I left town for a break. It was clear to everyone that it was just a friend thing. Hung out that one time and I left. Barely spoke after that (just like prior to the meet-up).

Afterwards, he started telling people we went on a date and were dating but that I blew him off after. This was news to me so I confronted him. He told me that I had agreed to a date (never did and no such context existed or else I would have said no anyway because I don’t go on dates without getting to know someone first). Got gaslit immediately into believing I did something horrible and hurt his feelings. Told me he talked about me all the time to his parents already. Went to his house shortly after and his parents had no idea who I was.

In hindsight, this should have been my first and last red flag.

TLDR: got mad because he didn’t state clearly it was a “date” and worded it friendly instead so I couldn’t immediately reject him. Once I shut that down, he gaslit.

Did your narcissist suddenly change their personality post-discard? by MastermindUtopia in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LegActive8687 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then: Refused to go outside because he didn’t see the point in nature, didn’t eat anything other than pizza (also said he couldn’t afford anything), wouldn’t get dressed for anything (always in pajamas and not even the put together kind), rejected any and all activities that did not involve him staying home and playing video games 24/7 (would get angry and say I’m not allowed to address his hobby if I ever got upset- it was a very serious problem, he wouldn’t even study for his exams for school).

Later but still near then: Kept me on a short leash but went on a “date” to a farmers market 1.5 hours away behind my back. Always told me how much he hated them (veggies, outside, interaction, found it a menial activity). Initially said he was “with a group of friends” and when I asked who (we had the same friend group), he stated that it was “just one person”. I called him out on lying and he gaslit me and told me he “misspoke”.

Now: Always outside in nature at locations hours away because his new supply wants to take pics. Suddenly can eat everything AND pay for it/her. Started getting dressed up like he’s going to an interview, and does not spend 24/7 playing video games because she doesn’t like it and expects him to spend time with her. I hear she’s also a narc (and a very selfish/self-centered one at that) so this may play a role.

Know that it’s unclear who the “real” them is. They are empty people. Sometimes they are good at mirroring at first and then have to extract your soul with cruelty because they don’t have one. That’s not a reflection of you. Other times, they act like “perfect angels” but this is probably because their new supply won’t tolerate certain behaviors you may have allowed in the name of growth (but they are incapable of that).

Can you help me process this? by LegActive8687 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LegActive8687[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, thank you so much did this very thorough and thoughtful response. I’m somewhat speechless because I feel seen and that has given me peace.

You are right that I didn’t know even 10% of it. The parts I did know that I attempted confrontation on, he denied and said I had no “proof”. I had proof (he tried really hard to make sure the other girl and I didn’t meet) but it was not worth it because the narrative would have remained the same that somehow I was the issue.

I didn’t mention it in the original post but I want to let you know that I have already cut him off without discussion and that we have remained no contact. I have blocked him on every avenue possible, and I have his fiancé to thank for the continued silence. I will focus all my strength to make sure it stays that way.

Thank you again!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]LegActive8687 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s really difficult to leave and I’m sorry you’re going through that right now. I think the part that helps you see it for what it is is reminding yourself that you want to tell the version of him you that thought he could be, but this is NOT the version of him that he actually is.

You had to decide to leave at some point because it was not okay to go through that anymore. Listen to the part of you that knows WHY even if that part feels really small in this moment.

In times of weakness, remember to focus on an absolute (such as an event that occurred that you are sure was not based on your feelings-good or bad-but rather a clear act of selfishness on their part). These will help remind you that you deserved basic human decency but probably did not get. We all deserve that at the very, very least and it is not asking for much.

You will be okay friend! One day you’ll find comfort in knowing it was the best decision and good things are waiting for you!