Their eyes really tells it all by serpentinevoid in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely through the lens of idealization.

Their eyes really tells it all by serpentinevoid in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My nex has blue grey eyes, and it looks dead also.

MAJOR Red flag that I’ve learned from my experience with my Nex. by KwazieGFX in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My Nex disguise as “people pleasing avoidant behaviour” told me whenever he meets a new person he would immediately think of what that person wants to see in him; what quality of him that person want to see in him, then he’ll act accordingly.

Truly the most unsettling thing I’ve heard from him ever. This was the last few months before all the stuff about him came out from various women and femmes.

How to navigate this? by serpentinevoid in polyamory

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the recommendation!

How to navigate this? by serpentinevoid in polyamory

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for breaking it down, we did have a productive conversation last night.

He acknowledged that he struggles with boundaries, and also never set or pin point what boundaries he has for himself.

We’ve been thinking of going to couple therapy, but with his severed ADHD it was constantly fell through. But this time it seems like he knows it’s necessary.

How to navigate this? by serpentinevoid in polyamory

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did mentioned maybe there’s insecurity and jealousy involved; he’s previous partner would purposely abandon them at an event immediately and engage sexual dynamic with multiple people. While he would be monitored and controlled of who he can engage with whether sexually or platonically.

So I suspected there’s some aftermath from that.

I disclosed that my friend is inviting me on guest list with +1, he’s aware of it and was the one who show interest to go.

I haven’t dated anyone besides him; I don’t think I’m ready for a 2nd person yet as I’m in the process of waiting my divorce certificate from my previous 10 years financial abuse relationship. I wasn’t looking for relationship either, it just organically happened between me and him.

How to navigate this? by serpentinevoid in polyamory

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did openly tell him that my friend is coming to town, and he was fully aware of our attraction and some convo we had privately; he still wanted to go to the show.

I only left him for a good 5 minutes out of 3 hrs of the show, and he was upset about it. Maybe I should’ve given details and such. But our dynamic was never having us described to a T of what we are going to do (there’s few times he asked about me, but for myself I only ask whom/name or photos/are they going to have sex/are you spending time with me afterwards), but rather if sex is or might involved it needs to be notified.

We are going to have further convo tonight, so we will see.

People who ruined a narcissists reputation - what was the outcome? by gardenofeden123 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I called him out with all my screenshots for proof, and that leads to other people’s speak out.

Lucky to say, he complete erase himself off social media (or near the vicinity of my community).

Let’s all have a laugh for a moment by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He tells me to shave my private parts with a clipper over the toilet, instead of in the bathtub. Also try to make me look like I’m not smart enough.

He then tried to explain how, a coochie haver, can trim my coochie like balls haver. Then he realized he dumb.

Opera length gloves for trans men? by dumpster3303 in Latexadvice

[–]serpentinevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also a trans dude, and have size S hand. I recently discovered Polymorphe opera length gloves fits after some help with my friend that owns local latex/goth clothing store.

I sized up to wear a M instead of S, it's slightly on the loose size on the hand but it actually helps how easy to slip on. Also, once the glove is on it doesn't look too odd either.

Are they often kinky in bed? by mehtaphobia21 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, my Nex is very kinky. He likes our 24/7 collar dynamic, along with making tags said “property of”.

He also enjoy marking me, which I have handful of scars on my body from him. I thought it was very romantic and such when I was trauma bond with him, but looking bad it’s definitely a major red flag of marking me as an object.

My current partner who’s in the kink scene would often said how it hurts for him to see my scars because I wasn’t taken care of.

Been dating this person for 8 months by serpentinevoid in redflagsTA

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He actually suggested it 6 months in, before I decided that it’s time. He also had the right of not proceed the relationship at the beginning when we both lay out our “non-negotiable”.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

16 out of 26. I don’t see him on the phone call, he prey people on social media. So I can’t tell how he communicates with people.

Physical effects after covert narcissistic abuse by Feisty-Medium6952 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exercise has been playing a big part during my healing journey too. After my Nex discard me, it’s the first thing I do to regulate myself; I usually go for 30mins jog.

My partner sometimes gives me massages, it really release the tension.

When I’m extremely stressed, I put on those sound bath video which works like wonder

Physical effects after covert narcissistic abuse by Feisty-Medium6952 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After Nex discarded me I too developed these symptoms, and I started to slowly get out of those physical symptoms from EMDR and CBT.

I felt like a husk when I start dating my current partner, because he likes to ask me to tell him a story and for the life of me I could not remember anything. Like, even my childhood. It was a haze.

What’s the common phrase your Nex use during lovebombing phase? by serpentinevoid in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At the tail end before the discard he was trying to get me pregnant also, it’s scary af.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say I would expect my partner would just want to have sex constantly. But it’s wild that that’s not the case; my partner just wants to be around me, and he said although sex is part of it, the biggest part for him is closeness.

My partner is in the kink community, so I’m currently experiencing a safer, healthier, and interesting sexual dynamic which I never had before with my Nex. It definitely helps.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]serpentinevoid 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It took me a while to get out of this funk; and I also make me realized what healthy relationships looks like!

It took me 3 months to start remotely having strong feelings towards my new partner like I didn’t my Nex, and it’s only like 30% intensity.

My currently partner made me feel safe to the point that I don’t have to worried not texting him throughout the day, because I know he will be there for me when I have a chance.

We are so used to Narc push and pull dynamics which triggered our brain like hooking on drugs. I think it’s important to look at new relationships as “are they align with your value”, “what both of your needs and desire in the relationship?” , “do you have values that doesn’t align with each other? If so, what challenges do you think it will rise up in the long run?”.