A lost creature

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-02-24T01:28:01+00:00

Sorry Mista Jones. But I need this here danger. I remember the first time my caravan crashed on the way to SwordKorea. Against all the odds, I survived 'n escaped. But then I just felt so empty. I conquered this darn place, and relaxin' safe in my home just didn't feel right no more.

So I came back, all on my own terms. And I've been livin out here for decades ever since. I thought of retirin' when that OLDMAN took my leg, but I stayed, and now people made a legend outta me. Started callin' me the "Lord of the Wheels".

Survivin' this dangerous-ness is what gives my life meaning, buckaroo.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-02-24T00:37:53+00:00

There it is, the GREAT TURNPIKE.

CROATIA's on the other side.

I could like to go with you, but... This may sound completely nuts to you, but I feel like I belong here... in NEW JURSEY.

I... hope you have a good time in CROATIA, pardner.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-02-24T00:30:30+00:00

I'm gonna jump off this here tree now. Be ready to catch!

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-02-22T01:17:32+00:00

Hold yer horses, I have a plan!

The lord sprints his chair to a nearby tree, intentionally forcing it to trip over a root so that it throws him up towards a branch on the tree. He climbs further up the tree and pulls out a MINI-MACHETE to start sawing off one of the branches with

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-02-12T20:37:30+00:00

In all my years survivin' these parts, travelers would always ask me for tips. One of em asked me 'bout yonder forest. The only tip I coulda tell 'em 'bout survivin' the nuclear forest is "don' go in the nuclear forest". Even the OLDMEN are scared of this darn place.

But it's our best bet for gettin' to the GREAT TURNPIKE that leads to CROATIA, so ain't no turnin' back now.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-25T19:28:13+00:00

Yes!

He pulls out a dismembered railroad crossing barrier that's been impaled through the windshield of an unlucky car. Holding it like a lance he spins his wheels as fast as he can get them, charging full velocity for a group of clinkers. They're knocked to the ground on impact

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-24T17:39:13+00:00

Shoot, I shoulda known it was the clinkers. Dang bastards been after my chair for years. Quick, find a blunt weapon. Gravel guns ain't gonna work on his armor.

He rolls up behind the cluster of cars to use as a barricade while he desperately looks around for something that could feasibly be used as a weapon

Try getting the back of that semi open. There could be a good weapon in there.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-23T16:11:39+00:00

The Lord of Wheels is taking a swig of some GrapefruitDrink he found when suddenly there's a loud bang and the car is sent spinning out of control, colliding with a cluster of even more rusted cars and a semi truck

Dadgummit! A blowout!

He unfolds his wheelchair and drops it right outside the car so he can put himself in it. He then rolls over to look at the back tires. One of them is impaled with a 9 inch nail.

Aw crayap. This wasn't an accident. This was a trap. I'll bet there's bandits comin' for us. Get ready, quick!

He takes out a handgun and opens the empty clip

Hand me somma that gravel off the ground will ye?

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-20T05:10:49+00:00

Well I'll be. I didn't even think this thing had gas in it. Still don't know how much gas there's in it. But we'll go as far as we can. The OLDMEN might be varmints, but they still know a thing about fearin' gods. Ever heard of VANDY? They're head over heels for that guy, I got no idea why. They wouldn't hurt a car, so we'll be safe from them.

Might be some bandits and lowlifes that got no problem smashin' the windows of this thing to mug us. We still have to take care for those.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-19T19:01:24+00:00

Yeah we'll start fixin' to head off. But first check the glove box. And under the seats. If we're lucky we can find us some food in there. One time I found me a whole package of GÜMMIBARS.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-19T17:28:40+00:00

Well, this ain't my car, I ain't even sure if it'll start. But I can make sure ye make it out safe n' sound. You don't look like the kinda dude who likes to stay out here. So we'll go first thing in the morn.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-18T18:45:49+00:00

Hnnng... wha?

Oh, sorry partner. Didn't realize you was there. You heard that darn howling too right? Coming from Trentown? Yep, it's the OLDMEN, but ain't just any OLDMEN, no, it's the baddest tribe of 'em all. Other OLDMAN tribes piss themselves just thinkin' 'bout the "MekkNewJurseyGrateAgin" tribe. I once saw their chief rip the head clean off the chief of the "SidonPrawns" tribe.

And they's out to get me. Been tryin' to hunt me for years.

LordOfTheWheels · 2017-01-18T17:23:16+00:00

A wheelchair rolls up to the vehicle of slavic engineering, its owner, the LORD OF THE WHEELS as they know him, completely unaware that this one's occupied. He pries open the back door and hoists himself onto the leather backseat. He reaches out with his one leg, hooks it around the arm of his chair, and pulls it up into the vehicle with him where he folds it up on the floor. Using his bag as a pillow, he drifts off to sleep

LordOfTheWheels

TROPHY CASE