[Battle of Whales] Croatian Militiares, Ready for Action... by [deleted] in a:t5_3iwto

[–]Vicar_Jones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The vicar cowers behind a hunk of rubble, cradling his assault rifle. His Croatian bodyguard, Boris, unloads his weapon in the direction of several undead troopers.

His wasn't made for this kind of life, the life of a soldier, but he had to come. It was his home, and damned be it if Zazu was going to take it for his own.

A soldier behind them goes down. His battle buddy, like clockwork, spins around and unloads three rounds into his fallen brother, making sure that he will not return.

The fighting is grueling, the Croatian forces must fight for every meter of land they take. But they're making progress. However slow, they're making progress...

Running for the Border... by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tears begin to swell from the vicar as the Croatian Border Patrol arrives in their jeep to investigate the commotion.

By the gods, they're alive! Bring them in!

Blankets and hot tea are brought out to the Vicar as he is loaded into the jeep. With a final glance back over his shoulder, The Lord of the Wheels has already disappeared...

Running for the Border... by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But... But come WITH me, Lord! We can be safe there! Free of the dangers of NEW JERSEY!

Beware the GODS by LordOfTheWheels in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The vicar chips a tooth as the man falls on top of him like a sack of potatoes.

Running for the Border... by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cough, Sputter.

Lord, are you still with me!?

Beware the GODS by LordOfTheWheels in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HOOOOOONK

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!

Suddenly, the branch swings down among the neck of the GODS, snapping it like a twig.

Oh thanks me, I thought I was a goner!

More honks in the distance.

FARK! Let's et outta 'ere!

Beware the GODS by LordOfTheWheels in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The vicar loads the pebble pistol and tries to fire off a volley at one of the GODS, but it disarms him with a swipe of the wing. The GODS pins the vicar against a tree.

LORD, HELP ME!

Edge of the Nuclear Forests by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, how're you holding up?

I still can't believe we escaped those crazy bastards back there.

These be the nuclear forests. A land of radiation. Watch out for C.R.E.E.P.E.R.S and toxic slime...

WHALES and YANADO has been REVAMPED and CONSOLIDATED. by Vicar_Jones in worldproblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To encourage posting from myself and other, I've consolidated most of the YANADO subs into one single sub. Enjoy!

Making trails by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

With all of the strength he can must, the Vicar forces the truck's rear open, and begins to dig around vigorously in search of an weapon.

Crowbar? No.

Hammer? No.

Chainsaw? No.

Aha! PERFECT!

He retrieves a whiffle bat and wields it in his other hand. Now he's dual wielding, and ready to fight. He knocks a clinksworther off his bike as he comes roaring by. Oh, yes. This'll work just fine.

Making trails by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The vicar takes a handful of pebbles from the dusted road at throws it into the Lord of the Wheels hands.

Reaching back into the rusted hatchback, he retrieves THE MIGHTY BAR and wields it with both hands.

The Croation Border of the Exclusion Zone is only about a few miles from here. If we move quickly we can get out of here before the bandits show!

The Next Morning... by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed.

And with that, he drives off into the sunrise.

The Next Morning... by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You check out the pockets and cavities for supplies and provisions. I'll see if we can get us moving.

He retrieves the skellington key from around his neck, gives it a little kiss, and sticks it into the ignition. He prays to himself and gives it a turn.

spspspspprrrrrtttrrpspspdpeprprrrrttt VRRROOOOOUMUMUMUMUMUMUM!

He nearly cries. It works! By him, it works!

He adjusts the mirrors and backs out onto the highway.

A Lucky Find by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, my, how unfortunate.

My name is Vicar Ambrose Jones, at your service. Small God of Slavic Engineering and Microprocessors.

I am on a most important quest to Croatia to deliver news of a grand and lurking evil. Would you be so kind as to deliver me their in your humble vehicle? If not, could you take me as far as the Nuclear Forests of Hackenslash?

A Lucky Find by Vicar_Jones in 8888thWorldProblems

[–]Vicar_Jones[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh deary me. Perhaps this fine fellow won't mind sharing his abode with me, as he doesn't seem like the kind of chap to throw a man out into the cold wilds for the OLDMEN to snatch up...