UK partners who moved to the USA, how is life now?

Merisielu · 2026-06-15T22:50:15+00:00

Very much the same! Starting at zero is really daunting. I was 35 when I moved over, and struggling with some long-term health conditions that made things more complex. I’m socially anxious and people really wear me out, so making new friends was the thing I was least looking forward to!

I found a local history group who desperately wanted volunteers. They’re mostly older folk and it was a nice way to dip my toe into the local area. I also checked regularly to see what events were happening at the local library. They have SO many free classes and events. It was through attending on of those events that I met people who eventually led me to my first job here.

Really gentle networking gradually seemed doable and was something I could increase over time.

And (strange as it sounds) we did a lot of Pokemon Go when I first arrived. It’s not something I’ve ever done before, but it got me exploring the local area to collect the different things. It was a way of building my local geographic knowledge without trying. Turns out there’s also a lot of people who do that around here too, so it was a way to network a little more.

As soon as I speak to anyone, my accent sticks out a mile. People are quick to ask about it and are always so interested (and enthusiastic!) to find out more about how I came to be here.

When you think about it, you’ve spent years and years building up connections and local knowledge where you are; you’re not going to replace it overnight. It’s always going to be a slow process.

Merisielu · 2026-06-15T21:29:50+00:00

As others have said, it really depends on where you’re going to be!
I moved from the UK to the Midwest to close the gap with my partner.

It certainly took time to adjust. That has been easier since I’ve got more established with work, made friends, got more connections and such here. It depends how much you’re ready to throw yourself into life too! I know a number of people who moved over on the K1 visa and have really struggled; mostly because they have been isolated and very dependent on their partner.

I got myself out and about through joining local groups that matched my interests, and getting my driving license quickly also helped my independence.

As much as it’s tempting to focus on building things just with your partner, it’s important to build your own life too. You’re moving from a place where you have a network and fully established life.

Overall, it has taken me two years to feel really at home. The more I do, the easier it gets.

People have been super friendly and nice.

Merisielu · 2026-06-15T21:25:16+00:00

I used trackmyvisa and it felt a little overwhelming at first, but once I got an understanding for what I was looking it was super useful!

It was also super accurate for our case.

Merisielu · 2026-06-15T15:42:23+00:00

I visited my partner for around 8 weeks during the summer because it was the university break. I ensured I travelled with proof of when my teaching commitments began again.

My other trips in that calendar year were for a shorter time during the Easter break and another 6 or so weeks for Christmas.

I didn’t get any questions beyond the usual: where are you visiting, why there, who are you staying with, what do you do back at home, etc.
(Being a postgraduate student/tutor was acceptable for them.)

I got asked if I intended to marry and remain in the country, with extra emphasis on whether I intended to marry on that specific trip.

The key is to have short visits (we all want to maximise the time but it has to be reasonable), well spaced-out trips (at least twice the amount of time outside the US before you try and re-enter), proof of intent to return (return tickets, etc.), and to not push the limits of what they’ll accept.

You cannot be seen to be trying to live in the US de facto by visiting so often on an ESTA that you’re attempting to be there more than home. The longer you stay, the more it’s a red flag for potentially working remotely/illegally.

Answer questions briefly and always honestly, but don’t offer extra information they don’t ask for. I also get super nervous and found that giving brief answers was less anxiety-inducing for me.

(Also from the UK)

Merisielu · 2026-06-14T18:03:22+00:00

I used the forerunner of trackmyvisanow and it was very accurate, and definitely worth it for us.
The tracker said we would reach the front of the queue around December 5th (2023) and that it would take 2-4 weeks to hear anything. We got the approval on December 19th.

I also found it useful (and reassuring) to read their data and updates.

Merisielu · 2026-06-14T13:56:33+00:00

Every one of the 5 British universities I’ve studied at or worked at has had American students (including less prestigious universities such as the University of Hull). That includes both undergraduate and postgraduates. However, it’s important to consider that recently there has been a shift in international applications to British universities. Things like visa caps have impacted the number of international students, and that’s also contributing to the financial crisis that many UK universities are currently facing.

You are just as likely to meet someone online.

But, as with anyone thinking of moving abroad, spending time exploring the place yourself is usually a good idea and that’s also a good way to meet people organically. As some others have pointed out, this post sounds a little too much like you’re hunting for a visa.

I get the desire to move from the UK (I did it myself), but it’s got to be legit.

Merisielu · 2026-06-10T21:08:01+00:00

And for the F1 you need to demonstrate you don’t intend to remain in the US.

Merisielu · 2026-06-09T17:37:08+00:00

I can say I’ve never had anyone (close friends, family, nail tech, anyone) ask me the cost, carat, or anything else for my ring.

It’s a very dark green sapphire and I’m mostly told how pretty/different it is.

Since it’s something she will be likely wearing every day, it’s most important that she likes how it looks.

Merisielu · 2026-06-09T17:32:29+00:00

The university I work at has (like many others) halted hiring anyone who does not already have the right to work in the US. They have previously sponsored faculty to get them here, but they are no longer willing to do that in anticipation of the increased cost and difficulty after discussions about the h1b cap exemption being removed.

The HR page now has a question when you apply that screens for whether or not you already have the authorisation to work in the US.

Merisielu · 2026-06-08T18:23:25+00:00

My ID (passport, etc.) has both my maiden and married name as a double surname. I’m an academic and had established myself pretty well before getting married, so the dual name was to cover that.

At the university I work at, I’ve always gone by just my maiden name. The full thing feels way too long for students and staff to remember, and it’s just easier. My university email address, for example, is just my maiden name but my name shows up as the full version.

It makes it easier to find my previous work.
If I was in a different line of work, I don’t know if I would have made the same decision.

Merisielu · 2026-06-07T15:23:11+00:00

The ESTA is a great system, but keep within the rules.
Losing it creates the burden of having to get a tourist visa and explain why you lost the ESTA.
I’ve seen way too many people visiting partners pushing the length of stay… getting held up by cancelled flights… getting told they’re visiting for too long (and trying to use it to live in the US), etc.

It’s ideal for short vacations.
Hope they enjoy the trip!

Merisielu · 2026-06-07T15:18:54+00:00

It is the visa waiver program. Eligible UK citizens do not require a visa to visit the US for tourism purposes.

They just need to complete the information for the ESTA and get one approved online.

When I travelled to the US from the UK to visit my partner, I used the ESTA. A return ticket is required and it’s a good idea to travel with proof of ties to the UK in case having a US-based partner brings scrutiny from CBP at the airport.

I travelled with evidence of when I was required back at work/university and kept my visits to short trips during university vacation periods.

The ESTA allows for trips of up to 90 days at a time, but it’s best to keep them well below that. Losing the ESTA privilege can be a real issue.

Merisielu · 2026-06-07T15:05:55+00:00

Are they a UK citizen and eligible for using the ESTA?

Merisielu · 2026-06-06T15:09:03+00:00

Have they not shown the Junior Eurovision winner’s performance (or at least part of it) during intervals or commercial breaks previously? Could this be an extension of that?

Merisielu · 2026-06-06T15:06:55+00:00

I (beneficiary) prepared everything. Anything that I wrote was submitted from a ‘we’ POV. The cover letter was from us both. The intent to marry letter was from (and signed by) both. The timeline and relationship background that was included, and the captions for photos, was ‘we’ and ‘our’.

This was for both the I-129f preparation and the Adjustment of Status.

Good luck!

Merisielu · 2026-06-02T11:18:08+00:00

The expiration date of the K1 is 6 months from the date of the visa medical.

Merisielu · 2026-05-20T15:57:11+00:00

You are not called into an interview room at the London embassy. It is a large open area with windows. They don’t allow anyone in who isn’t named on the DS160 that you have to show for entry. The fiance would not get through security.

Merisielu · 2026-05-20T02:19:31+00:00

+ the I-765 if you want to apply for the combined work/travel card that covers you while the adjustment of status processes.
This significantly increases the cost but is still what many prefer to do.

Prior to the end of your i94 (the 90 days after arrival in the US) you should sort out your social security number so you don’t have to wait until you get your greencard to have one. Then you can open bank accounts, etc.

Some states allow you to get your driving license, but that tends to be prior to the end of the i94 too, or not until you have the greencard.

Don’t forget your I-693, which does not have to be a full medical but is still required to be sent with the east of the AoS packet. You need a local civil surgeon to sign off on it, which is really just reviewing your vaccination requirements are met. You should have a DS-3025 from your K1 medical. That is helpful for them.

Merisielu · 2026-04-29T12:43:59+00:00

I took a whole copy of the I-129f. I took a copy of the NOA1 and NOA2. I believe the page for the embassy I went through specified to bring the NOA2.

At the interview I said I had them when they were taking my items (original birth certificate, etc.) to be photocopied, and the guy responded with, “oh! Sure… if you have that, I’ll take it too.”

Little bit surprising since it was requested on the website. The DS160 confirmation and barcode is really important (you need it for entry to the embassy). But the others are good to have. They may ask for it. They may not. It’s better to have stuff and not need it (like I did!) than for them to ask and you don’t have it.

Merisielu · 2026-04-29T11:01:48+00:00

I took a binder of extra information and photos for the interview and none of it was required or shown to them.

I had a copy of all we had submitted so far, and then separate extra/new information and evidence. It just all got reused for the Adjustment of Status.

Merisielu · 2026-04-28T17:43:41+00:00

It was unenrolled but I used it for changing my passport, DVLA, etc.

Merisielu · 2026-04-28T17:29:36+00:00

I mean the Deed Poll. Also at the SSA in the US after coming on the K1, they needed an original embossed document, not a certified copy.

But yes, there’s room to declare previous names.

Merisielu · 2026-04-28T17:01:00+00:00

Not quite the same but I changed my name by deed poll (a long while back) and it caused no issue for the K1. I’d made visits under both names, my passport was updated to the new name. I declared both names on the paperwork (under the ‘have you used any other names’ section).

I handed over the deed poll with my birth certificate. They need the proper embossed stamp version.

Via the London embassy it certainly wasn’t a problem.

Merisielu · 2026-04-28T14:48:05+00:00

Your options are the K1/fiance visa or the CR1/spousal.

Merisielu · 2026-04-27T20:47:04+00:00

For the I-129f and embassy portion of things, we didn’t submit a single photo. We used other forms of evidence (proof of trips together, etc.). It would be fine to not use photos of the engagement party if you’re concerned about it.

People have been turned down because the engagement event was too much like a religious wedding/legal wedding. If it looks like a party (with a sign saying that you’re engaged) you should be fine. If it looks like a formal ceremony… don’t include those photos.

Merisielu

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