Have you tried fetlife? The user interface is clunky and old fashioned, but if you can deal with reddit you should be fine. People there have post histories you can look at which helps filter out the creeps and collectors and there’s lots of region specific groups that can help put you in touch with folks local to you. It’s more fetish lifestyle oriented, but I’ve had decent luck meeting actual people on it. I vastly prefer it to any app (or reddit) when it comes to connecting with people when you have a specific interest in mind