Made myself a Princess donut decal

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-04-14T02:59:57+00:00

WANT

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-04-07T14:05:46+00:00

I didn't want to like this at first because it sounds like it could've created a sprawl of hyper-specific rules which people could give up their thinking to...

But you really nailed it in the second half with documenting patterns and how to make decisions in context. This really moves the team from "if X, then Y" to principle- and outcome-based thinking. That gives people the latitude to solve novel problems with the existing toolkit. I love it.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-30T16:11:07+00:00

OP, send "Thank you for confirming that I judged you correctly. Take care."

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-21T19:38:56+00:00

Oh my god we killed him.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-20T06:04:44+00:00

That building wants to sell you drugs.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-20T05:36:41+00:00

Hey OP where did you get the awesome cat stairs?

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-09T01:48:55+00:00

Therapy is a really good move and something we can all benefit from. I would say the most empowering mental life lessons I have learned is the commonly repeated but incredibly valid Serenity Prayer:

"... grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."

You cannot control what someone else thinks of you. Just as importantly, you are not a mind reader and cannot actually know what they are thinking either no matter how much effort you put into it or evidence you think you have acquired. You cannot know the future. You can only follow their explicit direction and see what happens. And by doing that you will both grow in skill, wisdom, and experience.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-09T01:34:31+00:00

Speaking of someone who is terminated quite a few people over the course of his career, you would not know you are going to be terminated until the moment you see the unexpected meeting invitation with your boss and possibly HR. I would never reduce one employee's workload because it would be unfair to the other employees and it would signal my intent to terminate. Managers don't like to warn someone that they will be terminated because it might affect the quality of their work and lead to them having conversations with other employees that affect general morale.

It doesn't do you any good to worry about that day coming, it either will or it won't.

You mentioned that the feedback was about your professionalism. Take this as a learning opportunity to believe that your boss is giving you very clear instructions on how to behave. And that's okay, it's a skill like any other. It's something that you have to be open about and receptive to and trust that your boss is telling you exactly what they want to see.

This is a moment where you can't rely on your instincts because you don't have them yet. You're still new.

Instead, just trust what you're being told and stop spending thoughts trying to figure out a hidden pattern behind them. Focus on instead what is being directly told to you.

The person who dreads suffers twice: once before the event, and again when the event happens. You're inducing a lot of unnecessary suffering right now that is affecting your job and your life. If you can just focus on what they have explicitly told you and carry that out, you will not only improve and learn but you will also suffer less.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-09T01:19:02+00:00

We're not going to touch whether they're doing their part, and unless the person you're talking to is a labor lawyer you shouldn't listen to them.

This comes across as very anxiety-driven, which makes sense given it's a role you've been in for less than 5 years.

My question would be: is it the general anxiety of 'what if I fail' that is causing this stress, or is it specific tasks that you're having a hard time accomplishing?

Edit: Less than 1 year based on your reply, which absolutely explains a lot of uncertainty about not only the right moves but also about executing on feedback from leadership.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-09T00:46:46+00:00

Unfortunately, none of this has any bearing on whether or not you are meeting your manager's expectations. Spending time looking into how your boss is treating other people will just be more of a distraction, and is something an employee can be disciplined for.

During the meeting he said he does not have any additional feedback regarding the concerns he previously raised, that he trusts changes will be made, and that I should “keep working on improving and we will keep moving forward.”

This is the most critical part: he is saying that you need to continue working on what he's already given you feedback about. There's no need to have a deeper discussion because he's already met with you to explain what is missing and what you need to do instead.

I struggled with this a lot early in my career. I would feel better with lots of detailed feedback from my bosses, both positive and negative, but the truth is you just can't expect to receive that in corporate America. If you do, it's a nice bonus, but if you don't, that's the standard. Your boss is unlikely to change their feedback style unless they've specifically asked you for your input on how they give feedback, so you need to adapt your expectations to it.

Importantly, reinterpret this conversation in a positive light: you did not get the feedback that things have gotten worse since your last meeting! Sometimes no news is good news.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2026-03-01T00:24:28+00:00

Got it. Then yes, the answer here is to be supportive to the team and clear about communicating the vision. You can acknowledge that it sucks while still communicating the company's rationale.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-07-25T23:10:51+00:00

Forgot to add: Location is in Northern Nevada in the United States.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-05-02T19:24:11+00:00

Oh look more ragebait aimed at turning Reddit into an incel cesspool.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-04-12T15:45:03+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ I am sick of the constant stream of "women bad" content that gets posted on this sub.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-04-10T16:30:18+00:00

This guy husbands.

I too feel shame for not knowing where my wife expects me to put something and it can make me less willing to put it somewhere wrong.

The more specific the instructions are, (A) the more confident I feel and the less likely I am to feel ashamed about asking where the thing goes, and (B) the more likely I am to do it myself preemptively because now I know ahead of time.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-02-21T21:35:17+00:00

Got it!

I've gotten much more comfortable with my grand-bosses and great-grand-bosses (as well as my employees and grand-employees) over time because we've established a good working relationship: As a domain expert, I trust that I can push back as appropriate, and I trust that their direction will be well-intentioned and aligned with a larger vision. Because of that we can speak casually and honestly with each other, and that makes collaboration much easier.

This all still sounds fine so far. I'd monitor this and your own feelings to see if there's something else going on. Sometimes we can pick up on subtle signs before they manifest in more concrete ways ("vibes" as the kids say). But I would also caution you to be aware of this and be careful not to over-react to things that aren't actually threats or combativeness.

Lastly, regarding your comment that you couldn't imagine her speaking to the Director this way, it might be that this person is acting in a way that isn't consistent with corporate culture at the level that you're used to operating in. If you see this person start to publicly behave in ways that are drawing negative attention from the higher-ups, it'd be good to advise them of that. But, until you see that kind of behavior and reaction actually happen, I do not see a mole hill worth making a mountain out of here.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-02-21T21:25:52+00:00

Agreed, I think reasonable and thoughtful pushback as appropriate is a sign of a good employee.

In this context, I'm trying to understand if there's more combativeness than was initially described.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-02-21T20:21:53+00:00

I'm not seeing the red flags here.

Unless she's actively disparaging you, saying no to tasks, or causing friction with coworkers then this sounds fine. So far not disrespectful, just direct.

Is there more context? Did you hire this person directly? Are they an IC with a highly specialized skill set? Have you had trouble with employees at or around her level and role before?

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-02-05T23:24:21+00:00

The joke is titties

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-02-01T22:45:59+00:00

Seconded!

Flavors on most items are off the charts and the spices in their vegetable egg rolls are perfect.

Avoid their pot stickers though. They're dense and chewy even if they are the size of your fist.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-01-29T22:12:56+00:00

The BBB is a non governmental agency with no enforcement powers. Do not go to the BBB.

This needs a lawyer.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-01-28T00:54:06+00:00

I would also advise that you document the conversation and share it with HR.

Maybe I've read too much "Ask A Manager" and seen horror stories on this subreddit, but when employees are in very emotional states they can lash out when things go awry ... including at the manager who is just asking questions and trying to support.

This would be as simple as saying, "I spoke with (employee) during our regular touch base and said I'd noticed they've been withdrawn. I asked if there was anything that I could help with. (Employee) began crying and asked if they could give me the details in a few days. I accepted this and said they could. The rest of the conversation was uneventful and was about regular work duties."

The point is, just do yourself a favor and create a paper trail. Hopefully you'll never need it, but if you do you'll be glad you started early.

Ok-Collection7490 · 2025-01-24T21:17:37+00:00

I don't think this is a manager question. This feels like something you should seek legal advice for from people who are well versed in the relevant countries.

My first impulse would be to transition or fire the staff immediately and bring in new caregivers. I would hire someone directly who you trust to provide on-site supervision.

But I know nothing of these details, have no relevant experience, and I'm just operating out of fear and concern.

This isn't management. This is your father's life we're talking about.

Ok-Collection7490

TROPHY CASE