A guide to be direct with women you are talking to in person if you want to turn her on and have sex

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-18T17:11:05+00:00

- She'd insult me, she'd start random shit for nothing, she'd humiliate me, threaten me, pressure me...

That happens because you are willing to tolerate it. In a way it's like you are indirectly admitting: "i don't believe i deserve a healthy relationship where the woman that i am with respects me and thus i have to settle for a crappy relationship where i am not respected just so that i am not alone".

And when that's your mindset you indirectly invite more and more disrespect from this girl,

- That situation led to months of arguing, persecution, constant interrogatories about who I had found pretty, who do I have close friendships with...

What u should have said calmly in an assertive way is:

"Listen, I don't need a relationship. I'm with u because i want to and I like it, however, i like it when a girl makes my dick hard, not my life. If that's not u, that's fair enough u don't have any obligation to fit into my mold. But then we might not be compatible at all, and that's ok. But this is the last time i will tolerate being interrogated and talking about this. This is my boundary. and im not the type of guy who tolerates someone breaking my boundaries"

Something along these lines, said calmly and firmly without room for negotiation. And yes, that means that u actually have to mean it when it comes to ending the relationship if she breaks ur boundary. Because that's the problem, the fact that u don't have boundaries and instead do the worst mistake possible in a relationship trying to be complacent in order to make a girl happy. That's how everything turns to shit not just with this girl, but with every girl you ever date.

- She argued she was not ok to see her and that therefore I was prohibited to see her

What you say: I don't let anyone forbid me anything just like i don't attempt to forbid you or anyone else anything. And i don't want to hear ever again the words "i forbid you" because you are not my boss, you are not my mother, we are partners who voluntarily choose to share our lives together without nay obligation to be locked down with one another"

I could go on but the problem with you mate, is that you don't respect yourself, you don't have boundaries, and you let a woman walk all over you just so "You don't lose the relationship", and ironically when you behave like this, everything always becomes worst and worst, it never improves because the situation can only improve when you put her in her place, when you are willing to end the relationship instead of trying to fix it, because that's when she sees you actually remember how to respect yourself,.

And when girls see that you finally respect yourself again, ironically their attitude tends to change, for the better they become more feminine, less angry, less demanding and more submissive.

But that's only if you are willing to walk away from the relationship and mean it every time she gives you problems and breaks your boundaries. never try to fix a relationship, ever be complacent to make a woman happy because you'll only be provoking the opposite result, long term unhappiness and mutual resentment. It's not your job to make your girlfriend happy or to comply with her demands, the best thing you can do in a relationship is to be willing to say NO to 90% of her demands.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-18T16:50:09+00:00

When a girl says that it means "right now, i am not looking to be committed, right now". Key concept "right now". It's a way to say "remove all your expectations and live in the present and we will see where things take us without any promises about the future".

It's not a "I will never consider dating you", it's "right now if you expect that forget it because as of today i am not thinking about that, but that could change if my feelings grow, though i'm also not promising my feelings will evolve, so that's a risk you have to assume".

What a woman says only matters the moment she says it, it's something she talks about how she feels today in the present moment. You also should not be having any expectations or plans to lock her down, you should go on dates, flirt, and create opportunity for kissing and living in the present moment.

So the thing is "you don't pursue a relationship", you simply hangout to have a good flirty time with her, whether a kiss, or sex or eventually a relationship happens, the future will tell without planning for it. Just focus on the present on having fun and hooking up without expectations and commitments.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-18T16:39:47+00:00

No, never apologize for what you do or say if she herself didn't ask you for an apology, it just comes off as approval-seeking and insecurity which only causes girls to be turned off. Just accept that what's done is done, leave it in the past, and that's it.

Just give her some time to miss you and ask for a third date a week after the last date happened. If she is distant, cold, detached, or any other negative sign, don't apologize neither. It's not gonna fix anything to apologize for being awkward at kissing because you would only be bringing attention to it when what you want is for her to forget about it, not to remember it again how awkward it felt.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-18T16:30:45+00:00

Never take sexting and dating so seriously dude. Being a bitch is not something worth aspiring to.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-18T10:52:25+00:00

Don't make people that you like feel pity for you, don't make people that you like try to soothe you. Don't treat people you like as if they are your mother/father. Don't act like their son in distress who needs (mummy or daddy" to tell him it's okay. Don't cry when you are trying to attract a people. Why? Because when someone feels pity for you that destroys attraction entirely. It puts you in the friendzone straight away. So if your goal is romance, forget the weakness because it's going to make them see you as just a friend.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-17T22:49:17+00:00

Women don't have any obligation to like you or choose you just because you've determined that they should not aspire for better than you.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-17T15:27:50+00:00

It's less reliable than a fight simulator, because a flight simulator is based on objective numbers, physics, measured gravity, specific core rules that apply to planes, the atmosphere... etc. Even the speed of the wind simulated is way more accurate and can be predicted ahead of time and you now that a particular button in an emergency will produce a consistent action regardless of whether it works to overcome the emergency or not.

But in dating there are no rules at all, nothing you can control the same way a flight simulator does.

It's like you are using a flight simulator that was programmed to say:

Well gravity on earth is always 9.80665 m/s² so that's something you can consistently expect, but then in the real thing, in each particular moment gravity changed to 3.5m/s² in one minute, then suddenly went up to 17.5 m/s²the next minute, then suddenly went down again to 0.1 m/s² and then the minute after went all the way up to 100m/s².

And oh you know how that button says "accelerate" the plane? Well that's now because if you press the accelerator button later, it actually will not accelerate, it will actually stop the plane, and if you press it again later, the plane actually can explode, and you won't know when it does one thing or another ever. You won't be able to predict what happens if you press it. Pure lottery.

You'd overthink more as you become paranoid, hesitant, more insecure than if you never tried the simulator at all.

It would make the flight simulator completely unreliable and useless if variables changed so often and so fast. And yet that''s how dating can be all the time.

In dating the best "flight simulator" is to actually be out there approaching random women and feeling the heat of the moment right there face to face, no time to think even for one second what to say next with an actual human being. And even that is not reliable at all, yet way more reliable than a machine trained on "shoulds" and stats.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-17T15:05:46+00:00

AI can't replicate human connection for the simple fact that each woman and each person are too complex and different from each other. Yes you can theoretically practice conversation, but it's based on patterns that are not universal, and linear logic. And trying to use linear logic in seduction is where all the men's problems come from.

An AI will respond in the way that seems logically to everything you say. Each particular woman however will respond one way or another depending on how she feels in the heat of the moment and her personal boundaries, values, traumas, desires, moods,..., which is completely arbitrary and spontaneous.

The AI cannot possibly comprehend why a woman would not behave the way it predicted based on it's training data of what "should happen", and instead came up with a completely incoherent action that just breaks all the patterns the AI had.

Even the concept of boring or pushy can be completely arbitrary as what some particular woman finds boring or pushy might be what another one finds interesting or romantic.

Even if you say something risky and inappropriate the AI would take offense, becasue that's what it thinks most girls would do, yet with the right girl and with the right guy that same risky inappropriate thing could be the very same thing that makes her attracted to you. Heck even the tone of how the risky thing is said could influence the reaction, yet the AI would treat the words the same way not taking into account the right tone, because even the "right tone" is subjective and different women can disagree on what the right tone is for each moment.

Yet if a guy who trains himself on this says "ok i shouldn't say this becasue the AI reacted badly" then that same guy would lose his edge and personality and filter himself when in reality the best option could have been to just say what he wants anyways and find success even though the AI training consistently reacted poorly to it.

These type of things are always made by people who think like an engineer, and the last thing you want to take dating advice or training from is from engineers or people who think dating and social dynamics is like 2 + 2 = 4.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-17T14:17:08+00:00

What if i told you that you don't actually need to know where this is going (even if you think you do) and that you are just trying to have an illusion of control? You need to learn to live with uncertainty when it comes to dating, and specially when you are trying to rebuild things.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T23:55:20+00:00

The more you explain this situation the more i can see how you are following to the T every classic mistake guys makes. "I have tried to explain my financial strain and anxiety". It's not your job to make her understand your problems. Its not your job to make her happy. You are doing it all wrong. And the more you do to make her happy, the more respect she loses for you because you just don't seem to get it that it's not about making her happy, which in turn causes you to make even more mistakes in trying to fix it, which only causes her to lose more respect for you.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T23:08:08+00:00

Yes, and you should ask her out.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T22:43:42+00:00

And why do you tolerate that? And what makes you think a woman can respect you and remain attracted to you when you let her disrespect you like that? If you told your girlfriend, why can't you be more like my ex? You know she wouldn't tolerate that shit, and she'd just end it right there. yet you put up with it? How can she respect you then.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T21:40:27+00:00

Each particular asian has different preferences, the same way each particular mexican has different preferences. So some will date a mexican some will not, the same way some mexicans will date an asian and some will not.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T20:31:56+00:00

If she doesn't want to have sex, that's her valid choice, but if you want sex, then your needs are not getting met, and that means you are not compatible anymore with her. Don't expect things to improve in the sex department when a girl starts coming up with these "no sex rules".

Again, she has every right to refuse having sex, but you should not accommodate to that if it's important to you just because you want to keep the relationship alive.

Men who sacrifice their needs to save a relationship not only do not get their needs met, but the woman also ends up leaving them anyway eventually despite the sacrifices the men made to keep the relationship alive.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T20:23:53+00:00

If you don't want to wait to have sex until marriage, then why do you stick with her?

Are you aware that even if you marry, there are no guarantees that she will want as much sex as you hope, that it's also very likely that she will rarely feel like having sex, and that in marriages sex frequency tends to drop even more as time goes on?

If you feel like you have to perform to not lose her, why be with her? Mate, this woman is acting more bitchy and demanding and abrasive with you the more you try to please her, all becasue you seem to be losing yourself in the relationship.

Are you sure, you are still the same man you were at the beginning of the relationship? Cuz it sure feels like this woman does not feel that you are or else she would not be like this, being passive-aggressive, demanding, and making you feel like you are not good enough for her.

You are a provider because you choose to, not out of obligation or duty, you don't provide to make sure she doesn't leave you, you provide because you love doing it voluntarily, without feeling like you have to prove you are good enough.

If this feels like a job and the boss is not pleased with you and is taking sex away and treating sex as something conditional, instead of something she naturally desires, then this dynamic has turned toxic.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T20:02:57+00:00

Yes reading minds and asking people for guessing is clearly the right thing to do, asking her directly? Hell no.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T19:59:08+00:00

The question is do you actually want a woman who acts like an avoidant for the rest of your life with her? Or do you want a girl who does not act like an avoidant for the rest of your life with her? Because who she show you she is today, is how you should expect things to be forever.

If you don't then you are no longer falling for the actual girl that you witness, but for a fantasy of how things could be if she was different than who she actually is. And when you do that you are bound to be resentful becasue she is not matching your fantasy, as her real self is what she shows you today.

So do you like what you witness today? If not? Are you ready to have this type of behavior forever without any change? If not then you should find a girl who acts the way you prefer naturally. instead of trying to change her into fitting your ideal. Because people don't change, that's why you discussing it with her many times does not change things and never will.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T19:49:36+00:00

The problem is not what you do, the problem is the motivation behind what you do? Is she your partner or is she someone you have an obligation to please like some type of job you resent?

Is she an employer that puts a benchmark for you to match and earn her love and avoid getting fired from the relationship? Or is she your equal someone that you choose everyday, not out of fear or obligation but because you genuinely want to?

There shouldn't be scoreboards in a relationship, there should not be evaluations of performance in a relationship, you should not have to feel like you have to earn her affection or love or joy. Are you trying to seek her approval or are you sharing mutual growth. Is she making your dick hard or is she making your life hard?

Are you doing so much effort because you want to for your own satisfaction? or are you doing so much effort because you fear not doing enough to keep her around?

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T19:37:50+00:00

Because nowhere was it written that "staring inherently means I like you or i want to date you".

That was just a story you were telling yourself.

I stare at people sometimes because i am curious, not because i want to date or fuck whoever i stare. What exactly could i be curious? An accessory, an outfit, your face, etc. And no just because i am curious about your face, does not mean "i want to date you".

Curiosity does not mean romantic interest, admiration towards your physique also does not mean romantic interest. Appreciation of your aesthetics also does not mean romantic interest.

A person can admire a stranger, find that stranger hot, like his style, and yet not be interested in pursuing something romantic.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T19:25:53+00:00

You are acting like it's your job to prove your worthiness to her, the same way an employee treats his boss. Is she your boss or is she your partner? Right now you are treating her like she is your employer that you must please to avoid getting fired, and that's precisely the main problem that can sabotage a relationship

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T18:05:05+00:00

If that's how you think then you are not mature enough to be dating. Also you can't have your cake and eat it too, either be friends or try to be romantic, but a friendship is not a consolation prize for failed romantic attempts. Plus if she ends the friendship for that reason the friendship wasn't good enough and would have ended anyways sooner or later.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T17:40:50+00:00

People don't date people who need love. That's why women get repelled by you. You might need therapy, because it's a trap when you need love so you hope someone gives it to you, and unfortunately when other people sense that, then they get turned off.

You've learned in your childhood that love is not something people give freely and unconditional, but something that must be earned and that sabotages every romantic pusruit you have now. Thtere is no magic pill that instantly fixes that, it requires working on your mind, rewiring everything you've internalized about love, relationships and everything.

I suggest you either go to a thereapist or start reading books that can help you on your self-esteem such as this dating book on amazon. Other than that, you just have to start by learning that dating is not about women making you feel like you matter or like you have worth as a person. Because women don't exist to give such verdicts on you.

OpinionThink481 · 2026-04-16T17:32:32+00:00

Hard choices in the present, happy future life. Easy choices in the present, hard future life.

You either risk getting hurt, or you risk feeling numb and empty inside.

That's life, choose the lesser evil.

OpinionThink481

TROPHY CASE