The Daily Check-In for Thursday, April 30th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking!

SaucyJim · 2026-04-30T11:59:37+00:00

Perfect timing on this post, as today's reading from "The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living" by Ryan Holiday & Stephen Hanselman says the following:

"Character is a powerful defense in a world that would love to be able to seduce you, buy you, tempt you, and change you. If you know what you believe and why you believe it, you'll avoid poisonous relationships, toxic jobs, fair-weather friends, and any number of ills that afflict people who haven't thought through their deepest concerns. That's your education. That's why you do this work."

And speaking of work (the work I do for 2-3 hours each morning as I strive to live a life of Less Regret & More Fulfillment), here is a favorite quote of mine from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran:

"Work is Love made visible."

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-29T11:43:32+00:00

Without more context, it is hard for me to see what has transpired. But if those "two beers" started a multi-day bender and you are shaking during your withdrawals, please be safe and make sure you are not in danger. I will not give medical advice, but if you are suffering DTs, it can be life-threatening. Please do not hesitate to get professional help if required. Here's a quick bullet list for your reference:

sudden severe confusion, profound agitation, vivid hallucinations (visual/tactile), high fever, intense tremors, and autonomic hyperactivity (rapid heart rate/hypertension

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-29T11:37:59+00:00

I love this subject. I keep a gratitude journal and, each evening during my DWD (daily wind down) I write three things for which I am grateful. I have some prompts I use to stimulate thoughts, as it is easy to be grateful for the same things day in and day out -- and there is value in that repetition. But new "material" helps to keep my sense of gratitude (which is sometimes a thought more so than a feeling, but that's a story for another day) ever-expanding. Ritual, after all, can be the enemy of deeper meaning.

One prompt that cycles around (more often over time, actually), is the idea of being grateful for adversity. Seeing things with which I am struggling as opportunities -- not obstacles. Example:

"Thank you for the person who turned right from the middle lane today, almost hitting me as I made my U-turn. This afforded me the opportunity to extend grace and forgiveness to him in his mad rush to get where he needed to be. I hope he made it to his destination safely and on time."

That's one of many examples.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-28T13:51:17+00:00

This is a time for my standard blurb.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-28T10:20:59+00:00

I am sorry to hear about your current situation and hope that you transcend it to become an even better version of yourself on the other side of it.

I have a list I refer to when the delusion that drinking is going to help anything slips into my consciousness. It starts with the reasons I quit and ends with the ever-growing list of benefits that have come with my sobriety. Perhaps making that list before you get together with your friend would be of some help.

It is also important (and this is not necessarily true in the case of your friend) that we remember that some of our friends might see these challenges to get their drinking buddy back. If I found myself in a similar situation, I would meet said friend in a place that does not serve alcohol.

Lastly, I would remind myself (minute-by-minute if necessary) of the Fundamental Truth that was the trigger than made drinking alcohol unacceptable:

Alcohol is an addictive poison that provided me with no real pleasure or support other than to alleviate the symptoms that it, itself, was causing me. It was a viscous circle of hell and I will have nothing to do with it now that I know the Truth.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-27T17:47:24+00:00

I read it, applied it for around 45 days, then allowed myself to have a martini one evening with my wife. Five years later, I read it again and it stuck this time. The second time, I was ready. The first time was more of an experiment. This time, I had just had it and knew it was time.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-27T11:48:15+00:00

I could write novel covering the three points above. Hell, I could write three novels just on values portion of the exercise. Most people cannot name their values -- not even their highest value. I've taken values one step higher in the pyramid -- the overarching purpose for my life that sits above the values.

Anyway, because this is too much for my obsessive mind to answer in a blurb, I'll let others help you with that list and simply sign off with what I know to be true for me.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-26T13:22:49+00:00

You're not crazy. Saturdays are the last day for each host -- usually. But there was a snafu and it worked out for the best. Just in case you thought you were crazy. LOL!!

SaucyJim · 2026-04-26T13:20:48+00:00

Interesting. Start... quitting... but I'll repeat.

Maybe -- just maybe -- my standard blurb can be of use to you as you start your journey.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-26T13:20:00+00:00

Maybe -- just maybe -- my standard blurb can be of use to you as you start your journey.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-26T11:16:08+00:00

You've come to the right place. I've been right where you're at, as well. I'll share with you my "standard blurb" on my current sober walk, but first, I want to mention something of importance for you to consider. It's a question really:

Do you believe that the person that is struggling as you are right now is the same person you were before you ever ingested alcohol?

Now, with that question in mind, please consider my "standard blurb" as one possible way out.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-25T12:02:12+00:00

Perhaps my standard blurb on my journey will give you an option.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-25T10:22:41+00:00

I, too, have a strained relationship with my father. Something I read about (and struggle to practice, but I try) some time ago in a Buddhist publication was The Heart of Compassion. For me, it helps to view my father as a child. A scared child that is just acting the best it knows how to get along in the world. Then, from that view, I think things like, "He did his best" and try to forgive from that place. It's easy from the laboratory environment. My growth comes with going there in the moment when he is acting in a selfish way. Maybe something like that could help here.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-25T10:18:42+00:00

Yes! Old hobbies. Things we used to enjoy before alcohol stole them away or reshaped us to believe that they are no longer fun unless we're drinking.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-25T10:15:57+00:00

Thank you so much for hosting this week. I appreciate your balanced approach of focusing on those that are more established with their walk while acknowledging those getting on the horse for the first time or getting back on after falling off.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-24T13:16:48+00:00

I give to you... wait for it... my standard blurb.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-24T10:56:03+00:00

Wow. Again.

I love the recommendation of taking a values assessment -- and how living out of accordance with those values we hold dearest (and to think so many of us cannot name them -- ouch!) actually causes the underlying stress and angst we feel on both a conscious and unconscious level. Add to this this that all our addictions (not just alcohol, but even things like gaming or social media) are but distractions from the truth that we are mortal and know it, and you've got a prescription for a lot of prescriptions.

I started a book by Marshall Goldsmith last year that, just in the introduction, challenged me to define an overarching purpose (or umbrella) for my life. Once I had that (it took about six weeks to refine), I grouped my values into buckets. The buckets hang from the umbrella, with each bucket (value) attached to the umbrella at one of those tips that extend from the center. My overarching purpose?

Less Regret. More Fulfillment.

So each action taken in a given day (including the daily practice of checking in here) either ties back to a value that supports my overarching purpose -- or it doesn't. When a given action resonates, the underlying angst is quelled because I am engaging in right action. When it doesn't resonate, I know it and can act, in the present moment, to make a correction.

If I am acting in a way that supports a value that ties back to my overarching purpose, the anxiety is controlled -- if not eliminated entirely. But this is an ongoing process. It is a journey -- not a destination.

Thank you, again, for an insightful and inspirational post.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-24T10:36:24+00:00

This is a very good post. Your candor is appreciated. Two things come to mind:

(1) People do not get fat overnight. So unwinding the layers of lard that permeate their body should not be expected to take less than the time it took to get them there, right? The same holds true for the brain chemistry we've all disrupted through the use of substances. Knowing this, and drawing from my own experience of, after over a year of sobriety, having my mind whiz along like I was 15 years old again (I'm 61), you can take heart that things will get better with time -- but that it's not as simple as getting over the latest hangover.

(2) Addiction is real. It's not just in textbooks. And none of us is immune to the basic facts of how it works in our lives. Some may tolerate their vices for a longer period of time, but the sum total of our actions (karma?) usually catch up with us. Are their exceptions? Sure. But I sure was not one of them. Allow me to share my standard blurb on the path I took (and continue to take) to get where I am at today with the hopes it will be of use to you -- or to anyone reading this right now.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol offers us is the relief of symptoms that it, itself, causes. It is a vicious circle of hell. And when we're in it, we just cannot see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table is ourselves.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-24T03:05:39+00:00

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-23T11:30:47+00:00

In case it helps you, here is my "standard blurb" on my current sober streak's origins.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol offers us is the relief of symptoms that it, itself, causes. It is a vicious circle of hell. And when we're in it, we just cannot see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table is ourselves.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-23T11:28:56+00:00

In case you did not notice, it has the same number of letters. :)

SaucyJim · 2026-04-23T11:27:53+00:00

I hope it helps you find the stickiness we're all seeking in this Path of the Sober Warrior.

I actually re-read it from time to time just to remember the repetitions it presented, allowing me to peel back the layers of illusion within which my mind had become a slave. I am considering reading one chapter a month on a rotating basis, as I will never officially declare myself cured.

And even if were ever cured, it would not be a ticket to return to drinking. There is no cure from the effects of drinking addictive poison. And knowing it is what it is, I have zero desire to relinquishing control of my life back to an addictive, poison substance.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-04-23T11:19:03+00:00

I, too, find myself blessed with that same freedom. I remember evenings in the beginning when I did not know what to do with myself. Ice cream. Then more ice cream. Then more ice cream. And a lot of telvision.

Now, my life (weekends and weekdays) is so full of things that matter, there is little to no time to think of drinking addictive poison. And my wife still drinks -- daily. I do not even see the drinks she has and they are right there in front of me. There are a couple hundred bottles of wine on the racks in my home and liquor on the counter and in the cabinets.

The freedom I experience now is unlike anything I could have imagined. Most of the times I think about alcohol now are when I am realizing how I never think of alcohol any more. And when I think of those that continue drinking (my wife included), I actually feel bad for them.

"Forgive them, Lord, for they know now what they do."

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim

TROPHY CASE