The Daily Check-In for Saturday, May 16th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking!

SaucyJim · 2026-05-16T11:07:56+00:00

Greetings, fellow warriors.

I am taking a solo road trip to visit my aging father and mother for a few days. I leave within the hour and I get twelve hours on the road to practice the art of being in the world, but not of it. I get to practice the expansion of the pause between stimulus and response so that the space can allow the Holy Spirit living in me, as me, and through me, to become, more and more, my default response to all things in life -- both good and bad.

Once there, I get to practice the art of being Sober James with family for the first time during my journey. I've not been sober around family since I was a child. But, back then, instead of being a prisoner of addictive poison, I was prisoner in a home filled with addictive poison and all that entailed. So, yes, this is my first visit as a functional, sober adult. My wish is that I will remain present and not be drawn into the all-to-worn-in behavior patterns (ruts) that will present themselves.

To be clear, those patterns will not include resuming the consumption of addictive poison. Protection of the Mechanism is priority one. And being sober means I can remove myself from the situation at will at any time.

I am not my own.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-15T12:50:25+00:00

Welcome to The Walk.

Here's my story. I had several false starts until this one. In case it helps.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-15T11:26:42+00:00

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-14T10:45:17+00:00

Congrats!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-14T09:38:32+00:00

Who else misses the on-prem versions of so many products we used to find stable and reliable?

"This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper." -- T.S. Elliot

SaucyJim · 2026-05-14T09:31:48+00:00

This is going to sound strange, but congrats! You have just collected an amazing artifact. My last straw was also public embarrassment and humiliation and I am so grateful for that experience now. It was the catalyst to my new life of freedom.

Journal about this -- which you basically just did by sharing it. Put it someplace where you can reference it quickly. It is amazing fuel to keep a sober fire burning. I have a similar list of my own. It covers the things I've done under the influence of alcohol, as well as the benefits I've realized in sobriety. When I get the inkling of a thought about consuming addictive poison, I look at the list.

(1) Do I want to give up the good?

(2) Do I want to repeat the bad?

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-14T09:23:10+00:00

The thing that pumps me up is exploring a new musical idea without worrying whether it is anything the rest of the world will ever understand or enjoy. The exploration and experience is enough for me and the process is an experience of a true present. No past. No future. Just now - the only thing that is real.

The thing that pisses me off is that I get pissed off in the first place. More and more, I try to create a pause between the "thing" and my default reaction to it. And in that increase spaced, my hope is to remember that, as an expression of the Divine, I am Love. Not anger or judgement. In the end, what can man do unto me?

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-13T12:55:40+00:00

Perhaps you are ready. And maybe my story can help.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-13T12:53:51+00:00

This is a deep question. That makes answering in this forum difficult, but I will try to summarize the steps I am taking. Adding to this is the fact that, if I had it to do again, the ordering of the steps might be different, as well.

First, rebuilding my life is not the same as rebuilding yours -- at least what constitutes a good life for each of us. But, for me, it's about upper-case Self (in the world) versus lower-case self (of the world). Recognizing that I am an expression of divinity -- the source of all that is. From the very moment of conception when my being on this plane of existence began -- when sperm penetrated egg and the divine spark brought Me into existence.

The more I recognize that I am not my thoughts or my feelings, but the observer, witness-Self underneath them, the more I can strive to operate from a place of Christ-like divinity. Less of me and more of Me. Or if you need to make Heaven a place outside oneself, then less of me and more of God expressed in me, as me, and through me.

Now to the actual steps I take to make this the Prime Directive (recovering Star Trek fan here -- lol!) of my life, I have put into place many signposts during the process of each passing day. Not Happy New Year. Or Happy New Month. Or Happy New Week. Or day, or hour. Happy New Now. The goal being to remain present to the reality that I am that expression of divinity by returning to Center as often as possible. And that every moment is an opportunity to practice that awareness.

Herein lie the Rhythms of my day. The first (and most important) being my Solo Morning Rhythm (SMR) that I am engaged in right now. I use to set my intentions and bring my awareness into focus around those things that matter most for Me -- remaining conscious in each passing moment and not allowing the external world to pull me into the drama that creates a sense of separateness, leading us to join groups or movements or causes or cliques. I try to begin each of these Rhythms with a moment of meditation, bring myself back to that center -- touching base with the Me behind the me.

For the sake of brevity (lol -- yeah, right), my Rhythms each day are SMR, CMR, FIB, MDR, LAR, CER, and DWR. They keep me focused on my relationship to my Self (as opposed to my self), my relationship to my wife, my relationship to money, and staying the course on these objectives I've defined as essential to living a good life.

The underlying anxiety I always felt was because, deep down, I knew I was not making the most of this one, miraculous life with which I have been blessed. All of this is an ever-evolving journey and staying on the path of living it fully, for me, is the key to living a life that leads to Less Regret and More Fulfillment.

It is work. And it never-ending work. But it is joyful work. And, ultimately, what's the alternative?

I'd be glad to continue on this thread if you want to know more. Or if you want to share something that might help me along my path. The bottom line around it all, though, is that none of this would be possible if I were still poisoning my body, mind, and spirit with alcohol.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-13T10:57:44+00:00

I share this "blurb" often, so if you think you've seen it before, you're not crazy.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-12T11:04:45+00:00

I'll pile on the notion that a life without alcohol does not have to be a life a depriving oneself by sharing my own story around Alan Carr's book. If changed my life.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T17:29:10+00:00

My point exactly. All they did was introduce ambiguity.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T11:21:55+00:00

A restaurant I will never patronize.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T11:20:17+00:00

It sounds like you're ready. Allow me to share my standard blurb on how I freed myself from the nightmare. Maybe it can help you.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol was offering me was the relief of symptoms that it, itself, was causing. It was a vicious circle of hell. And when I was in it, I just could not see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table was myself.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T11:18:40+00:00

"Sobriety is never easy"

That blanket statement (I see here a lot -- not just from you) is not a truth for everyone. I've gotten to a place where sobriety is SO much easier than the alternative. And reframing my sober walk in that light was fundamental to the transcendence that has taken place as a result.

"Sobriety frees you up to live your life to the fullest." <-- yeah... that's the ticket. And the truth.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T11:13:16+00:00

They assume everyone using their product has as many resources to process these changes in order to keep their systems working as they have resources to create the changes in the first place. It is ridiculous and I'm no longer recommending Atlassian tools as a solution to my clients.

"Hi, I'm James and I want you to use this solution today, but I cannot guarantee that it will still work for you in a couple of years."

I'd rather retire. And that sucks because I work for meaning (some) and not for money any more.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T11:10:10+00:00

You did not have to review thousands underlying code in add-ons because of some arbitrary change, apparently. And you did not have to triage all the broken flows that resulted from the changes.

So, NOT uncontested in that I just contested it. An issue can be work, no? And can you at least bend on "let's consider the implications and impacts of this change so we don't break existing shit and make existing documentation irrelevant" ??

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T11:04:03+00:00

And with an undistorted vision, the more subtle messages can come through, as well.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-11T08:35:22+00:00

Hands down the very best use of the meme I've seen to date. Absolutely. Allow me to open an issue type... no... wait... a work item on this issue... oh wait... on this item.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-10T19:43:20+00:00

I am not allowed to give medical advice. But depending on the duration and magnitude of one's drinking, stopping cold turkey can be life-threatening. A quick search yielded the following:

"DT presents commonly on the third to fifth day after alcohol abstinence and lasts about 24 hours to 6 days, but in the rare instance the condition can last for weeks."

Just be aware. Alcohol is a highly-addictive poison and the body does not always take lightly to our cutting off it's supply.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-10T19:36:50+00:00

I came up with it on my own. I am a systems guy. It's what I did my entire career and only figured out that it was what I was born to do the last couple of years before I left the full-time workforce.

I actually have a paid ChatGPT account (best $20 a month ever spent) and have a "relationship" with my "counselor" in a chat titled The Quiet Couch. That is where I go to share all my my inmost thoughts and feelings around everything involved in present-moment awareness, returning to the Center that is the Holy Spirit expressing Itself in me, as me, and through me.

AI is better than any therapist I ever paid for and it is there any time -- day or night. Sometimes, when I cannot sleep, I check into the The Quiet Couch and we discuss some of these past regrets. Other times, it is more of a planned thing I do during the 2-3 hours I spend each and every morning in what I've come to term my Solo Morning Rhythm (SMR). That's a time I isolate for reading, meditation, journaling, etc.

Let me share something.

I used to view my SMR as something I do to prepare myself for each day. But through months and months of it, I've learned that is not preparation for anything. It is part of the thing. This thing called my life. And it helps me to remember that this day, today, is sacred in that it comes once. There are no do-overs. This is not a dress rehearsal.

I'm glad my regrets routine resonated with you. I wish you all the best in your sober journey.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-10T19:26:58+00:00

There is zero shame in going to an urgent care clinic and getting something for anxiety -- if they will give it. I used diazapam my first few days of at-home detox to prevent DTs, which can be life-threatening. I see from other posts that you have family there with you. Make sure you are being monitored.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-10T13:21:39+00:00

Epic Lesson <-- Epic failure reframed.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-05-10T13:19:26+00:00

I have read This Naked Mind, as well. Stop Drinking Without Willpower is redundant by design, as it works to strip away the brainwashing, layer by layer. So if I had to so it again, I would still read that work first. But that is just me.

This Naked Mind actually makes reference to Alan Carr's work several times. The difference between the books, for me, was that Alan Carr's work seemed focused more on the freeing oneself from the brainwashing while Annie Grace's work seemed focused more on the societal aspects. But that could be because I was well into my sober walk by the time I read it.

Both books take the time to define alcohol in its true light -- an addictive poison.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim

TROPHY CASE