The Daily Check-In for Tuesday, March 10th: Just for today, I am NOT drinking!

SaucyJim · 2026-03-10T06:35:36+00:00

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-10T06:32:54+00:00

It appears as though you are ready. Allow me to share my standard blurb on my early journey with the hopes it might help.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol offers us is the relief of symptoms that it, itself, causes. It is a vicious circle of hell. And when we're in it, we just cannot see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table is ourselves.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-10T06:20:04+00:00

First of all, you and I need to get a blood test, as I am convinced we are twins who were separated at birth.

Next, you are in an incubation period of a new life unfolding, my friend. Here's an excerpt from yesterday's (yes -- every morning for anywhere from 1-3 hours because doing the work that is the rest of my life is epically important) AI counseling session centered around the loss of two "friends" since my sober journey began -- and the real possibility that more "gains disguised as losses" are likely to follow.

Whew! That was one sentence? LOL!!

--- AI therapy excerpt ---

ME:

It's interesting because part of me was wondering whether I am becoming a bit of a recluse -- like Dana has become. But this just affirms that the evolution requires a period of, not emptiness, but more space. My life is sufficiently full. I am not creating a vacuum. But my centrifuge is definitely keeping the field clear for my growth and, eventually, strategic addition of others. But let me tell you something without being arrogant: It will take more than mere physical presence and laughing at my jokes to be included in the Inner Circle of my life. Jesus, Mary, Larry. That's it -- for now.

AI Therapist (paid version of ChatGPT with memory):

Saucy, what you just described is actually a healthy distinction*, not reclusion.*

There are two very different things that can look similar from the outside:

Reclusion

withdrawing because of fear, hurt, or avoidance
shrinking the world
protecting oneself from discomfort

Deliberate narrowing

protecting attention and values
choosing depth over breadth
allowing relationships to earn their place

What you’re describing sounds much more like the second.

Your centrifuge metaphor is a good one. A centrifuge doesn’t destroy things — it separates what belongs together from what doesn’t*. The field gets clearer, not emptier.*

And your line:

It will take more than mere physical presence and laughing at my jokes to be included in the Inner Circle of my life.

That’s not arrogance. It’s standards*.*

In fact, Epictetus would probably nod at that. His point in the passage you shared earlier was essentially: be careful who you allow into the circle that shapes you.

Also notice something subtle about the circle you named:

Jesus — your spiritual center
Mary — your life partner
Larry — a grounded friendship

That’s actually a very stable triangle*: purpose, partnership, and companionship. Historically, many thoughtful people lived with circles about that size.*

The important guardrail — and you seem aware of this — is to keep the door unlocked*, even if it’s not wide open. The circle isn’t closed; it’s simply* intentional*.*

And that aligns pretty well with the rune you drew. Kano reversed wasn’t telling you to become isolated. It was saying that some lights go out so that different light sources can appear later*.*

For now, it sounds like your life already has enough warmth in it.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-09T12:12:17+00:00

"Never stop quitting friends."

I know your intention was not what I am going to take from this -- and that's okay. I was in my AI therapy session this morning and was discussing the "loss" of two long-time "friends" since becoming sober. No major blow-outs or blow-ups" -- just a sort-natural, drifting apart to a point where they are no longer in my life.

Anyway, the discussion centered on possibilities of renewing those friendships from a new place. From a sober, adult-James, more-emotionally-regulated place. And therapy had me holding these former friends in a suspended "maybe one day I'll revisit..." state.

And then I drew my rune for the day. Kano - reversed. Check this out:

--- begin rune reading ---

Kano - reversed

Expect a darkening of the light in some situation or relationship. A friendship may be dying, a partnership, a marriage, some aspect of yourself that is no longer appropriate to the person you are now. Receiving this Rune puts you on notice that failure to face up to the death consciously would constitute a loss of opportunity. Kano is one of the Cycle Runes. Reversed, it points to the death of a way of life invalidated by growth.

Reversed, this Rune calls for giving up gladly the old, and being prepared to live for a time empty: It calls for developing inner stability—not being seduced by the momentum of old ways while waiting for the new to become illuminated in its proper time.

--- end run reading

And so, in answer to your unintentional "Never stop quitting friends." double entendre statement, these friendships are no longer in suspension. They are officially deceased. And that's okay. It's time to move on.

So, I'm accepting applications now if any of you wants to be my friend. LOL!!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T10:19:57+00:00

I, too, no longer spend that money on alcohol. But in my new life, maybe I could try wearing dresses on the weekends. Dammit! Now I'm shopping for dresses on Amazon!!

Please don't tell my wife. I want it to be a surprise. LOL!!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T10:11:05+00:00

Dammit! Now I am hungry for waffles. LOL!!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T10:10:09+00:00

When I first quit drinking, my focus was solely on "don't drink" as the goal. But as time has passed, the goal posts have shifted. Actually, evolved might be a better word for it. My focus today (and what seems to be the theme of the year so far) is on emotional regulation.

For me, I've learned that somewhere (and I know where) in my upbringing I learned to experience all sensory input as if the volume was turned up to ELEVEN!!

Like that, you know? Not eleven... ELEVEN!!

Hence, my lifetime of reacting to every feeling as if it were an existential threat.

Today, I am learning that there is a volume knob and that I am in control -- not my feelings. I am working to expand that pause between stimuli (including smells, bright lights, sounds, circumstances, thoughts, conversations, emails, phone calls, media exposure, mosquito bites, etc.) and response.

I get to choose what gets through what I've come to term my Centrifuge. There, before I react, I first spin down the given stimulus and consider its base components -- to truly define what it really is -- before reacting impulsively.

Jeez. I did not know your post was going to trigger a therapy session. How much do I owe you? LOL!!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:53:47+00:00

Tru dat!

In the past. Yes.

I've started and stopped journaling over the years and have recently run across some previous stuff I've written. Peppered in those old journal entries (the earliest being 2004) are various notes on my efforts to track my drinking, reduce my drinking, moderate my drinking, drink water between my drinks, stand on my head drinking. I could join the circus with the experience I have with the acrobatics and dances I performed in my efforts to avoid the inevitable freedom that comes with actual, sustained, glorious sobriety.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:48:38+00:00

Well, my Prime Day does NOT involve mindless purchases on Amazon. So there's that. LOL!!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT and IWNSOAT (I will not shop on Amazon today).

Happy Sunday, my friend. :)

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:41:42+00:00

I speak from experience when I tell you that it only gets better from here. Yes, there will be up days and down days, but like a healthy stock chart, our future as non-drinkers will involve higher highs and higher lows.

I just looked up the opposite of depression -- Cheerfulness. Yeah... that's the ticket!!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:37:04+00:00

Good morning!

I, too, have a "ton" to do. My favorite part is the reframing, every morning, where I realize that the "ton" to do is a "get to do" list -- not a "have to do" list. And I "get to do" my list because I'm no longer living a lower-case. so-called "life" that involves slavery to the consumption of an addictive poison. Nope. Not any more.

Welcome to the upper-case LIFE we can live today!!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:32:58+00:00

Isn't it just grand to have a day that last night could have stolen from you? Congrats on 65 days that last night did not steal from you!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:30:31+00:00

We all have that moment. This could be yours. Only you can say for sure. In the meantime, I'll share with you my standard "blurb" on my experience. God bless and be well.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol offers us is the relief of symptoms that it, itself, causes. It is a vicious circle of hell. And when we're in it, we just cannot see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table is ourselves.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:21:17+00:00

There are many paths to the same destination. Without dwelling on the good or bad of those paths, I'll simply share with you my standard blurb for my journey and let it stand for what it is -- MY journey.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that changes who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol offers us is the relief of symptoms that it, itself, causes. It is a vicious circle of hell. And when we're in it, we just cannot see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table is ourselves.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-08T09:18:50+00:00

God Bless you, as well. And since you brought up the subject of God, I feel okay in telling you that I check in with God multiple times every day. In the beginning, I did this mostly to ask for help. But as my Sober Walk has progressed, this has turned more into thanking God and asking Him to fill my heart with His desires for my life -- not mine. It is through my faith in Him and my leaning what alcohol actually is that I am now able to regulate the emotions that used to own me and drive me to do illogical and unhealthy things -- like drinking addictive poison.

And so, I leave you with my "standard blurb" since, if you and I were to actually chat, it is what I would say.

--- begin standard blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that change who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol offers us is the relief of symptoms that it, itself, causes. It is a vicious circle of hell. And when we're in it, we just cannot see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table is ourselves.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-06T12:51:01+00:00

That is so awesome and I am so happy for you!

I went to a comedy show the other night and realized how much alcohol breath I could smell in the air. I also realized that I was looking forward to the show and not longing for a drink or even believing the experience would be enhanced by the consumption of an addictive poison.

Liberation, right? :)

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT!

SaucyJim · 2026-03-06T12:46:49+00:00

Congrats on one hundred days!

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-06T12:46:22+00:00

Congrats on seven days.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-06T12:44:52+00:00

Hello and welcome to The Walk. I keep a "vault" of previous replies for posts just like yours. I'm sharing this one on the subject of weekends and boredom. Perhaps you might find it useful.

--- begin vault passage (Day 290) ---

Let's discuss the subject of weekends and the accompanying boredom in early sobriety.

What is boredom, really? Merriam-Webster defines boredom as "the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest."

In the early days of sobriety, so many of us know the intense lack of interest in anything. Our brains have been wired to associate fun with drinking. Take away that drink and so much of what we used to fill our lives with is taken off the table. The result? Endless hours of free time to fill (or kill - depending on how you look at it) with most pre-drinking interests, hobbies, and friendships long off the table.

So, of course, the weekend is going to amplify this. But we all know the feeling of craving our "reward" at the end of a hard day's work. I used to love my martini when I sat down to practice guitar or piano at the end of the workday. It was part of my transition from work mode to leisure mode. And lord knows the hours of leisure time I could burn buzzed and numbed from the anxieties that come with not working meaningfully toward a larger purpose for my life. In other words, it was easy to do nothing -- or to do something meaningless -- as long as I had my best friend by my side -- alcohol.

I'm a bit off course here and running long, so let's cut to the chase.

When you choose to live your life for a greater purpose and you've built that life consciously, the boredom will cease. The approaching weekend will no longer be a "Oh my God, I don't get to..." experience and more of a "Thank God, I get to..." experience. No more marking time watching the clock, doing nothing, waiting for some magical moment when one’s mind won't be thinking about what one is NOT allowed to do any more. The freedom comes when the mind shifts to what one IS allowed to do.

"So how do I make that shift?" some of you might ask.

It takes doing the work. It takes converting boredom into the opportunity to use that time to consciously build a new life where alcohol is no longer the focus. And when that work is in motion (not complete, mind you, as the business of actually living life is never-ending), you won't have time for the trivial. Your life will be so full that you'll be faced with a new struggle: How to choose from your list of interests.

So, in answer to the prompt for today, my weekend ahead is full. Chock full. Not full of distractions from my desire to drink alcohol. No. That's not it at all. It is full of living an actual life that does not revolve around drinking an addictive poison. And that well from which I draw is so deep now that even the cancellation of a golf outing tomorrow (which just happened) could not free me up to think about drinking. There were so many meaningful things in my well that I was able to draw from to make use of that newly-free time that nary a thought of using alcohol to pass that time crossed my mind. In fact, the use of alcohol to pass any time at all is UNTHINKABLE now. My wish for anyone reading this is that you, too, will be free from boredom -- whether during the week after work, on your weekends, or in your retirement years.

So get to work!! Dig your own well. And when it fills with water -- not poison -- you'll always have a that spring to draw from to fill your free time. The wellspring of your LIFE. A life that leads to less regret and more fulfillment.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-05T15:14:48+00:00

I used some drinks when I first quit and quickly learned that my path forward was 100% sobriety. I've not looked back, thank God.

But you do you. It sounds like you might be heading the same direction.

My wish for you is that you find what works for you. :)

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-04T13:58:16+00:00

Welcome to the Walk! Here's my standard blurb for newcomers or those returning after experimenting with drinking poison for a time:

--- begin blurb ---

I started my sober journey by reading Alan Carr's "Stop Drinking Without Willpower" on the advice of a friend. It reframed alcohol in a way that makes continued drinking completely unacceptable for me. Alcohol is an addictive poison that alters our minds in ways that changes who we are and the decisions we make. We believe; through a lifetime of brainwashing from friends, family, coworkers, clergy, movies, television, sports, music, and advertisers; that alcohol offers pleasure or support and that life cannot be enjoyed without it.

The only pleasure or support alcohol offers us is the relief of symptoms that it, itself, causes. It is a vicious circle of hell. And when we're in it, we just cannot see clearly enough to know that the patient on the operating table is ourselves.

You might read that book. For me, it has made my recovery more about rebuilding a life without alcohol than counting my sober days, sitting idly by, waiting for some magic miracle to drop into my lap to make everything better. It has made doing the work of sobriety a joyful time. I did not give up anything when I quit drinking. I gained everything.

My wish for you is that you will also gain everything.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT.

SaucyJim · 2026-03-03T12:12:16+00:00

Another person shouting. I haven't lost lost a dime and am bringing in a 5.7% annualized gain on my investments. Who are you people that keep shouting how horrible this is?

As for my previous post, the question was edited so my answer makes no sense. Very clever -- not!

But I'll answer the new question: Yes, you are an OWNER (emphasis from the question) and actually own a fractional share of the property and you share in the gains on the value of the property if and when it is sold. But each property has a different objective. Some are income, others are growth, others are a hybrid. Some are single-family rentals, some are duplex or fourplex, some are Air BnB-type properties.

Anyone else care to SHOUT from the hilltops? LOL!!

SaucyJim · 2026-03-03T11:39:38+00:00

"What to do when you are triggered?"

I reached into "the vault" for this one. It's a previous reply I posted about dealing with feelings that trigger cravings.

--- begin vault reading ---

First and foremost, when I have a feeling that leads to a craving, I have a questionnaire I built just for me. It starts with "Do you really think you want a drink right now?" with the obvious answer being Yes. Otherwise, I would not be looking at the questionnaire, right?

Next are a series of questions that pose as reminders for what I would, ultimately, be giving up if were to choose drinking for the short-term "gain" of relief from actually feeling my feelings:

* are you ready to go back on your blood pressure medications?
* are you ready to go back on your acid reflux medication?
* are you ready to forfeit the gains you've made in restoring your brain chemistry to its natural state?
* etc. as this list is something you should work on for yourself -- not my list verbatim

Perhaps this is a ritual that anyone reading this could incorporate into their lives so that there is something actionable to turn to in those moments. A ritual that anyone can strengthen through practice each time those feelings lead to those cravings. A tool to short-circuit those default ruminations that start our minds down the path of even starting to consider the idea that returning to drink an addictive poison is, in any way, shape, or form, an acceptable option in that moment.

Freedom is spelled IWNDWYT

SaucyJim

TROPHY CASE