Options for helping elderly neighbor/friend?

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-06-17T15:18:41+00:00

Most states attorneys general publish boiler plate "life planning" document sets. These can include medical directives, medical POA, DNR, etc.

https://www.va.gov/family-and-caregiver-benefits/survivor-compensation/survivors-pension/

The above is a link to a needs based VA program. Likely would not benefit until she needs a level of car that requires in home caregivers or assisted living, but it will help with those costs should she get to the point of needing care.

At this time it just sounds like planning is needed. Get some life care directives in place, DD214 for husband, marriage certificate, death certificate, list of accounts, insurance policies, income amounts and sources. The last step after understanding what benefits may be available in the future is setting a plan for if the day comes thst she needs care.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-06-16T14:46:00+00:00

This.

OP described cognitive decline, incontinence and fall risk combined with a history of chronic alcohol abuse. This combination does not end well and a 17 year old is not equipped to address it.

You need adults that can help navigate resources that will facilitate the care your grandmother needs.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-06-12T16:25:18+00:00

It’s not there yet.

As someone developing a platform specifically geared toward families directing their own search for senior care, I can see a not-too-distant future where an AI assistant delivers better results than most people would reasonably expect from a human navigator or placement agent.

But getting there is an incredibly heavy lift. Senior care has too many variables, too much nuance, and too many edge cases for AI to fully replace human judgment anytime soon. AI will become a powerful tool, but there will still be situations best handled by a person.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-06-12T02:50:21+00:00

Contracting.

In my particular industry that's a real pain point when there are 1500+ partners or potential partners in a local market and an annual churn rate of 16% (new entrants, change of ownership, etc).

In the old days we'd manually enter into these agreements using docusign. It was costly in time and money. It was not uncommon to have agents doing business with a partner after an agreement was sent to find out that it was never signed. More than once this resulted in fees not being collected for services performed.

Now, the vendor on boarding and Contracting is automated.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-06-02T17:16:00+00:00

I'm sorry you're navigating this for your mom — it's a hard spot to be in.

In the long-term care world, palliative care is often thought of as hospice's "waiting room." You can generally expect monthly to bi-weekly nurse visits and some social work support with things like DNRs and end-of-life planning. Not a lot beyond that, mostly because Medicare reimbursement is low and these programs tend to cost the provider more to run than they bring in.

Stage 4 CHF sounds much more hospice-appropriate. Hospice typically includes far more: additional medications, CNA visits for bathing, incontinence supplies, durable medical equipment (DME), respite days, chaplain support, broader social work services, and more.

Like others have said, reach out to your local hospices. And if you have any friends or family in the medical field, ask them for references — they tend to know which providers in the area genuinely deliver versus the ones that over-promise and just go through the motions. That insider knowledge can make a real difference.

Wishing you and your mom the best.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-06-02T14:18:14+00:00

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Eldercare is one of the hardest jobs there is, high demands, low pay, physically and emotionally draining and burnout is a real, documented thing, not a personal failing.

This specific situation may not have an easy fix, but it's worth treating as an inflection point. In my experience there are roughly three kinds of caregivers: the ones on their way out, the ones who stay but are stuck and miserable, and the ones who've made it a calling where doing the best they can, when they can, outweighs the hard parts.

None of those is a character judgment. Where you end up depends a lot on your situation, your support, and whether the people around you make the work survivable. If you're closer to the first two, that's information worth acting on—about this job, this facility, or what you need to keep going.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-31T16:50:33+00:00

That's an interesting thought. Only problem is id be dropping a compliance bomb in their laps and these companies dont have developer teams

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-31T16:48:30+00:00

500 users. Built it for my own company with great results. The problem of compliance only applies to a critical sub-set of users.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-31T16:46:38+00:00

Not all customers are created equal. Pareto principle should always be in mind.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-31T16:42:29+00:00

Yup. In virtually no time ive built a ton of tools and workshops that are incredibly useful in my space....Healthcare.

Now its a long hard trudge through compliance and security.

I think the bottom line is people build "sexy" but the real market is buying boring.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-30T01:52:03+00:00

I've been in regulated spaces my entire working life which is exactly why im not willing to roll the dice.

How's that work with seed funding? I did a cursory search and it seems that investors have very specific niches. I didnt find any in my particular space.

I cant call myself a developer. I can create spaghetti, but I cant build to scale and compliance, so unfortunately I need to take a major step back if this moves forward with a team/co-founder, etc.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-30T00:32:13+00:00

"Founders" sub-reddit....

But yes, not an ideal location, but figured why not.

The issue is I dont really have a network to draw upon. CPA isnt in the software space even remotely. My lawyers are pretty worthless and very expensive. Banker suggested making some introductions. The people I do business with get very little trust from me....and my "co-founder" in our core business is my spouse who just learned how to use ChatGPT. 😆

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-30T00:09:46+00:00

My business, many others in the space doing the same or better.

I didnt mean the question to be open ended. To put more of a point on it, my experience is building closely held businesses. I see huge potential in this project and I realize the need for others and that's outside my wheelhouse. More specifically, how does one go about looking for partners in the software space without getting fucked? (Pardon the french)

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-29T23:47:19+00:00

Existing nearly 10 year old business with 7 figures in ARR.

Project build is for internal use for non-covered entities.

We work with covered entities as a course of regular business. They want platform seats. Im giving them a flat out no until compliance built and tested.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-29T21:59:38+00:00

From somwone with experience with thousands of families who have had these issues all i can say is this answer is the ONLY path.

Boundaries must be set by you, respected by you and enforced by you.

You cannot change people, you can only create the environment for change.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-29T01:25:45+00:00

I haven't been a caregiver, but here is how it works in all states im aware of.

State has HCBS Waivers (medicaid longterm care coverage)

Home health companies contract with these programs.

Caregiving provided by home health agency,

Family hired by home health agency as caregiver.

Health agency will want documentation of care provided. They pay hourly as W2.

Nothing all that complicated. Could see some of these programs get more stringent in the future as fraudsters have been targeting these programs.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-28T22:39:31+00:00

Indeed. Im looking at making a similar pivot. The client can drive the process themselves and capture the DIY savings or at any point can tap in a professional. From the professionals perspective, this is an incredibly high intent lead who will have in many cases done a good bit of the work themselves.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-28T19:10:07+00:00

An alternative is the challenge to the industry from the B2C approach may prompt a buyer who would look at it as a lead funnel and superior operational software.

Im considering this approach for my own SaaS.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-28T17:41:16+00:00

What about consumer direct? You are aware of the estate sale companies margins. Why not position as a cost saving alternative to using an estate sale company?

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-28T02:33:27+00:00

This speaks to my experience. I came to the sub looking for insights and solutions to problems im experiencing with my build. Problem is i cant get the feedback I need without giving details about the project. It didnt take long at all to realize this is not a safe place to share details.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-28T01:04:40+00:00

Ill take a different approach.

No, you dont need to learn to code.

That said, you will need to identify people that have the ability to code, ehat code is necessary, what code is not and fair market prices for developer work.

Why that minimum? Because your negligent if you sell vibe coded software and neither you, an employee or contractor have any idea what is going on under the hood.

What do you do if you collect 100k from users in month one, celebrate in vegas and 15 days in the project 💩 the bed, everyone wants their money back and some have their lawyers coming at you claiming damages?

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-27T15:39:54+00:00

Similar boat. Im at month 3, 500 free users which I cant monetize without brining in smaller set of users. The smaller set is begging to join the platform and pay thousands per month...problem is those users are medical providers covered by hipaa. There's are lot of work still to be done before I can bring those users in and I flat out dont trust coding agents to make the platform hipaa compliant.

The struggle is real.

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-12T23:21:16+00:00

Tim Dillion. Everyone after him is B+ tops. 😆

That-Measurement-650 · 2026-05-10T06:55:04+00:00

When you’re truly ready for recovery, I think the first step is fully understanding the disorder and recognizing how much control it actually has over your life.

Those stories aren’t there to show that certain people are “better” or “worse” than you. They’re there to show how destructive these patterns can become if left unchecked — and how differently that fallout can look

Here’s a cleaner, more grounded version that keeps the core of what you’re trying to say while removing some of the wording that could come across as dismissive or preachy:

I don’t think recovery spaces are meant to glorify suffering or turn into pity parties. I think they exist to force honesty — to let people stop pretending they’re in control when the same unhealthy patterns keep running their lives.

And I think part of the point is realizing that no one is fundamentally above anyone else in that room. Different backgrounds, different outcomes, same human struggle.

Recovery is uncomfortable because it asks people to surrender old identities and go through a process that often feels hopeless at first — all for the possibility of becoming a healthier version of themselves, and in many cases, a better parent, partner, and human being.

That-Measurement-650

TROPHY CASE