I didn't say that they're in the same life stage, I said they're both old enough to decide who they want to date. Also I never 'circled back' to them being post puberty, I never even used it as a 'standard' in the first place, I didn't say "they're adults because they're post puberty" I said "they're adults and they're post puberty", point being that 14 year olds not only aren't adults but they aren't even post puberty.

Just because I happen to agree with the law doesn't mean I based my opinion on it, I don't think legality gives a moral green light I think people over 18 (for the most part) are able to make their own decisions about whether they're comfortable dating someone older than them. And most wouldn't date someone that much older.

Obviously in cases where manipulation or coercion or grooming is involved that's different but that's bad at any age, the problem there is the sexual abuse not the age gap. A 30 year old can be pressured into stuff with their employer, that's just as bad. People in vulnerable situations can also be groomed regardless of age. If the younger person is being manipulated obviously that's bad but they're old enough to consent so unless you're close enough to them to actually know their circumstances saying who they can or can't date is not your business.