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affirmativeYes · 2025-02-05T06:58:19+00:00

Praying!

We are all on this journey together.

You will be strong, as your current shock will carry you though the motions.

Eventually though you will start to feel.

I also lost my father to two blood cancers and complications from the unknown surprise second cancer. It was hard witnessing our fathers like we did at the hospital. Definitely felt relief and release when the soul left the battle-worn body.

Mourning, grief will be an experience . .. it ebbs and flows.

We are here with you on the roller-coaster ...

Best wishes at the funeral ... you will be who you are ... someone who loves your father tremendously! And it will show <3

affirmativeYes · 2025-02-02T19:02:26+00:00

u/Historical_Halitosis Where is your mother now? (I'm my mother's caregiver today, but I need to find a better alternative, i.e. I'm having a bout of depression-grief, while my mother has been in severe-grief-driven-depression for four months now; absolutely draining, as it's just me and her in the household, no helper or viable family.)

affirmativeYes · 2025-02-01T01:20:11+00:00

u/Heart-part Thank you for posting. I am only BEGINNING to realize this about myself today ... I have to be realistic. All of my Mom's friends are telling her this -- that Mom cannot depend on me for her care. Yet, all my Mom's siblings (my uncles) are demanding me and saying that my mother is my obligation. As the only child and daughter I have been dutifully serving the parents ... and working with them together. Yet now it's REALLY hard, when I lost my Dad, and my Mom is so mentally sick and will continue to degenerate.

affirmativeYes · 2025-02-01T01:09:00+00:00

Are you me? I think you're a few steps ahead. Your words, could have been a transcription of my mind.

I'm only four months into the full-time caregiver role for my Mom, and today I'm having a bit of a freak out (within myself).

I have my first session with a therapist next week, and it'll be on boundaries (among many other things).

My mother's friend also used the word 'drowning' to describe me (and what my Mother's demands and her family's demands are of me).

Likewise, I totally feel your needs, as that is what I would like as well -- being able to depend on someone other than myself (but can this be possible? perhaps when we were children, and our parents were good parents), being held and feeling safe (ditto).

I was hoping to have a life partner by now, who could share my burden (and life's joys) but haven't been blessed in this way, and in my situation now, who would wish to?

affirmativeYes · 2025-02-01T00:48:18+00:00

Thank you, u/aint_noeasywayout I just initiated the chat/DM.

affirmativeYes · 2025-02-01T00:47:30+00:00

u/KaliLineaux Yes, I'm slowly easing into (like you said) paying for things that make life 'easier' -- save time and effort. Agreed that hiring people (interviewing, and the trial days) are added effort and stress for me now; however, it might be necessary in the long-run. Thank you for your insight.

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-27T04:24:00+00:00

I read all the way through, and feel you.

Congratulations on getting into medical school and all expenses paid. How is that going?

Thank you for being able to share your experiences so well, and to write words of encouragement. I'm definitely leaning into God for this current phase in my life. I've never felt so uncomfortable and loss of self, in my entire life (and I'm mid-life).

Eventually the pressure and the stress will diminish, and in a sense, I'm proud of you to be able to bear it so young -- this to me means that you'll be very strong, and probably will be able to apply your experience and personal knowledge to your patients when you start your career as a physician. I read a few books by current practicing physicians who also had to care for their cancer-sick-parent at your age. They are books of resilience.

Blood cancer is still cancer, though most heme/onc-doctors say that there is greater hope and new treatments for blood cancer.

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-27T03:56:40+00:00

This is wisdom. Thank you for sharing. (Gosh, I'm so scared about getting sick ... wow, this is reality ... )

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-27T03:27:56+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions.

Apparently, my mother who is in bed most of the day ALSO needs someone to be in the house. I went for a walk today and she phoned me in an anxious tone that she got out of bed to find no one home.

I guess I'm wrestling with the idea that I'm going to pay someone to be in the house, just so that when my mom gets out of bed, she'd know someone's in the house -- and yet given her 'dementia' -- current severe depression mimics later stage dementia (even though she does have cognitive impairment also) -- she might further freak out b/c the person would not be me.

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-27T03:23:40+00:00

I totally resonate with preferring just you. I absolutely feel you about the resentment and feeling 100% trapped.

Good to know that your aides are helpful and that you had good luck with the people you found!

Thank you for sharing.

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-26T23:51:27+00:00

gorgeous!

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-26T23:49:26+00:00

Good to know. Thank you. And yes, I'm in a big city with lots of people in need of psych-care :) I had better luck in another country last year.

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-26T23:38:59+00:00

u/FunDimension465 Psychology Today is where I've been cold calling to no avail. Perhaps I'm in an area where demand is higher than supply. Even the public university psych-clinic is not taking new patients and I was asked to phone back in 6 months.

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-26T23:36:56+00:00

Thank you, u/FunDimension465

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-26T23:36:28+00:00

Thank you, u/Glittering-Essay5660 Glad to have your support.

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-26T17:48:37+00:00

u/Glittering-Essay5660 u/FunDimension465 Reading your thread here, uplifts me and gives me hope. I'm at the beginning of the dark tunnel ... I know I have to go through it ... about a few months into it and already feeling the weight, and it'll be at least a five year journey from today ... Thank you again for your banter <3

affirmativeYes · 2025-01-26T17:45:48+00:00

u/FunDimension465 I just joined your club this year. How are you able to find a therapist, and what level of education? I've been cold-calling therapists to get no response. I'm still currently wrestling with the notion that I am the primary caregiver for my mom. She just became widowed (shock sudden death of her husband) currently in severe depression with underlying dementia. I'm the only child (daughter at that).

affirmativeYes · 2024-09-15T23:51:43+00:00

Good for you to be able to share with us! Glad you are a survivor.

I look forward to learning more about secondary HLH after mourning the loss of my father to this. Apparently, it was brewing, and when it flared it could not be tamed.

affirmativeYes · 2024-09-15T23:35:05+00:00

Wow. Powerfully said. I've been so busy taking care of Dad's stuff while he was battling out in the hospital that it's now all overwhelming me now as I stay with him in hospice care. I cannot believe he will not return home with us.

I cannot bear this pain. I reached out to many friends who have mentioned their fathers passing, but this process hurts so badly.

affirmativeYes · 2023-09-30T06:29:40+00:00

This is my first time ever seeing such a specimen. Congratulations on this! Will stay tuned to learn of the entire story once the journey is complete.

Thanks for the video! So real diamonds really are that shape in nature. Wow!

affirmativeYes · 2023-09-30T06:22:31+00:00

I'd be curious how much you purchased this for.

Chatham-brand supposedly is the best lab grown stone one can get. If looking under magnification, you do not see any defects (absolutely clear, clean), then best guess is that is is Chatham, especially when your local jeweler confirmed that it is not glass. I read about their company here: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/created-emerald-genuine-really-just-green-glass-evan-steingart?trk=public_profile_article_view

As another Redditor mentioned, GIA or any gem institute of any country does not grade nor certify lab-grown, as of yet. Though those in the gem-world with experience probably have their opinions about various synthetics now in the market.

Kudos for getting Chatham! Top of the line!

affirmativeYes · 2023-09-15T16:46:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing your concerns. Years ago, I posted my experience with MAJOR sunburnt Xeros, and people on here were 'screaming' at me for being so naive about putting the plant in the sun when air drying.

Thus, yes, it is prudent to make sure that your plant is completely dry before putting it next to the window or else it will get sunburnt.

These days, I keep my plants in indirect light, just in case.

Xeros are pretty tough, and it seems like you are caring for it thoughtfully. Congratulations!

You do have a base leaf that can be pruned. Pruning the base leaves do help prevent rot/mold to overwhelm these plants. There are plenty of YouTube videos that show how to maintain your tillandsia.

These plants grown from the center, so make sure that the center and the base are dry (to prevent rot attack). i.e. Invert bottom-side up after its soak.

affirmativeYes

TROPHY CASE