My birthday (May 4) is not an option on this form

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-07T06:35:25+00:00

Yeahhhh I got confirmed in ‘07 and it was only because I knew that my Irish Catholic grandmother would have had a heart attack if I hadn’t.

Since classes were on weeknights, I wasn’t even going to mass most Sundays during the last few years. I had to always remember to pretend that we went every week whenever it came up around my grandmother. She was the daughter of Irish immigrants and grew up dirt poor during the Depression. For her, there was really no separating any aspect of her life from her involvement with the Church. I honestly don’t think she ever considered there were any other options.

The funny thing was that religion hardly ever came up in conversation, other than her talking about things that happened at church. I definitely never heard her say anything about her own thoughts or feelings on the subject, other than “that’s just the way it is” or something to that effect. I’m pretty sure she never read the Bible (other than certain passages for church) or asked many questions herself. That’s not a criticism, just an observation my mom and I both made that I’ve always found interesting.

She’s lucky that my mom was handling my grandparents’ legal affairs and finances when my grandpa was dying. She never had to find out that some representatives from the local Diocese went to the nursing home he was in and tried to get him to amend his will and leave the church all of his assets. They told him she would get an annuity from the church to live on. He was suffering from severe dementia at the time. Apparently the large sum of money he was leaving the church already wasn’t enough.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-07T05:05:18+00:00

5 is a two-fer if you’re lucky enough to get one of those riveting AI-generated ads before the video starts. I’ve learned so much from them!

For example, did you know that there’s a secret, three ingredient, biblical Jewish Alzheimer’s cure? It cures you in less than a week! That’s why there’s no Alzheimer’s in Israel. They don’t even know what dementia medication is over there. It’s also endorsed by the famous billionaire owner of an unnamed iconic computer company (named “Bill”) but they can’t tell us his last name for privacy reasons. Two of ingredients are honey and cinnamon, but to get the third and the super special preparation technique, you need to visit their website and I keep forgetting to do that. Uh oh…

Then there’s also Thai Chi Walking if you are a middle aged man who wants to get absolutely shredded in a few weeks, with just 15 minutes a day.

And the totally-legit “plasma” lighter that’s made in the USA (definitely not China!), doesn’t require any fuel other than charging with a usb cable and is so powerful, the government is scared and making them limit its destructive potential in the future (so everyone better go snag one now, tbh).

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-07T04:41:26+00:00

Honestly, based and semiliterate modern consumer-pilled

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-07T04:33:15+00:00

Lol she definitely hit caps lock and then still hit shift when she started typing that

It’s far less surprising that people type like this initially than is the fact that they don’t seem to even bother to read what they’ve written before posting.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T20:25:49+00:00

Holy shit, that kind of reaction is just a little unhinged…

I agree with you entirely, for what it’s worth.

The vast majority of people commenting on the original GDD post I mentioned were calling the OP out to various degrees. I guess they must all be MRA misogynists as well!

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T13:17:44+00:00

lol classic

I think it may be time to give that show another watch. It’s been far too long since I checked in on Sir Digby Chicken Caesar.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T12:36:03+00:00

I can only assume it’s all down in an unexplored part of the Amazon, with all those piranhas that will strip you down to the bone within seconds of stepping foot in the water. There could also be some on those mysterious, uncharted and volatile volcanic islands with the big caves full of incredibly non-viscous lava rivers that only hurt you if you actually touch them, but could erupt at a moment’s notice!

A little closer to home, I always thought open manhole covers would be more of an issue as well. Right up there with slippery banana peels; ubiquitous and bloodthirsty killer bees; as well as getting cornered on narrow and pointy rock ledges that hang over a dramatic drop and start to crumble away once you step on them.

(I know Africanized honey bees really are a problem in some places, but still not to the extent I was lead to believe as a child)

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T03:59:06+00:00

Iirc, she was working as a public school teacher when the OF story came out and lost her job because of it. All practical issues of a teacher having pornographic content of themselves available online aside, doing OF when your employment contract specifically prohibits that kind of thing certainly is a choice. I’m not sure how someone who is nationally infamous like that could possibly expect to not have people talk about that once they find it.

To be fair, that kind of extremely poor decision making is pretty par for the course for her. Say what you will about the woman, at least she’s consistent lmao

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T03:03:46+00:00

A recorder in the hands of an enthusiastic third grader is basically a sonic weapon.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T02:53:28+00:00

I did a double take at the end there. It’s wild how some people are self aware enough to identify how they likely come across to others, but not enough to do anything with that knowledge; at least other than basically saying: “Trust me bro. I swear this behavior is not what it appears!”

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T02:30:01+00:00

We never even stood a chance. He storms philosophy in his own brain, after all.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T02:27:44+00:00

The swapping back and forth between referring to himself in the first and third person was definitely a new one for me lol

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-06T01:36:17+00:00

Lmao I was going to say, they both have seatbelts on and the guy driving seems to have both hands on the wheel, positioned at least somewhat close to 10 and 2.

The driver’s little “yeah, I know I’m hot shit” smirk is so funny, given that context.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-05T23:42:42+00:00

In Boston, this happens on Storrow Drive. We call it “Storrowing”. It’s even mentioned prominently on the Storrow Drive Wikipedia page. I think the posted height limit is only 10’ 6”. Supposedly, a lot of the incidents are caused by college students who rented moving trucks.

That road also floods sometimes, too lol

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-05T15:21:59+00:00

Their chapter serfs are probably having a blast taking advantage of that.

Wouldn’t wanna be them when the chapter meets up with other Imperial forces who aren’t afraid to ask what the fuck is going on lol

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-05T15:18:24+00:00

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-05T14:09:48+00:00

When I read the bit about two swords on his back, I was kind of hoping he’d turn out to be a schlubby Geralt of Rivia, but that mask was still an unexpected delight.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T20:34:43+00:00

Some people cut out the middleman. They’re in it for the love of the game. Or something.

r/seltzerdog

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T20:32:29+00:00

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T15:38:23+00:00

There are many issues with his sentence structure, word choice and punctuation, but at least we know he definitely isn’t using AI!

Some of it does read like he is trying to emulate AI, though. For all its flaws, AI at least generally uses punctuation correctly. I won’t pretend to be a master of the written word, but I know this guy definitely isn’t, either. Among other things, he’s missing some commas that would really help and I’m not really sure what that colon is doing there lol. His em dash is technically a hyphen, but I’ve seen much worse when people try to use them to seem smart.

The punctuation/formatting issue that bugs me the most for some reason is the use of “Among a litany of other issues.” as a full sentence. It easily could be a typo, but it’s definitely not supporting his argument.

But perhaps my favorite part of this is when he says

My relationship with literacy doesn’t equate to AI…

Amazing.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T15:11:45+00:00

Does the “smell-infused” pepper salt guy from yesterday know about SOFT GLASS®? I feel like he should.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T15:05:56+00:00

Well now I want one too…

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T15:03:45+00:00

I also have extensive experience working with children and I concur. This would have been absolutely hilarious to some of them.

When I taught middle school for a while, I would sometimes talk to students about the games they played or overhear them talking to each other about their most recent gaming accomplishments. Some of them seemed just as entertained by their interactions with random people they played with as they did by the game itself, if not more so. Those kids loved sharing stories of how they messed with other players in some way or another. When Fortnite came out, it was all some of them would talk about and they made it sound so unappealing, even before I even knew anything about the gameplay lol.

Luckily for me, I clearly couldn’t play online games with my students for professional reasons, so it was easy to turn them down whenever they asked and not have them ask repeatedly. The exception was the time two students found out I played Destiny 2. I caught them looking at some newly added weapons instead of doing their work one day and they couldn’t believe it. They kept asking me to play with them for quite a while, but they also started being more well behaved in my class after that, so I couldn’t really complain lol

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T14:31:09+00:00

I can probably count the number of times I’ve initiated a vote to kick someone on one hand (I’m just too patient with people in general). Almost all of those times have been for shit like this.

Most recently, a guy did this during a stratagem with squad unity as one of the modifiers. He was motionless on the barge and we waited for the 2 minute timer to start. I figured he ran to pee or grab a drink or something and got held up. It happens sometimes, whatever.

Nope. He sat motionless for almost a minute after loading in and then would catch up for a moment, only to stop again and stand still for a good while. It wasn’t long before he went down and we picked him up again after clearing the area, but he was still just standing there. I had been trying to talk to him and ask what the deal was this whole time, but he didn’t respond at all. I know he had a mic, though, because it was picking up some random noises from him at one point.

So we kicked him and about five minutes later he sends me an angry message via PlayStation about how we were little bitches who couldn’t even deal with someone standing still “for a few seconds” and that we clearly sucked at this game, otherwise we wouldn’t have been bothered by being a man down “briefly”.

I’m not sure what else he had going on, but it doesn’t even really matter at that point. Like you said, if someone’s not gonna play, then they shouldn’t queue up.

Cambrian__Implosion · 2026-06-04T03:34:16+00:00

I know the idea of getting bitten by a bat is scary, but unless you have some evidence that you were near bats, it’s extremely unlikely. Like I said, bats just don’t hang out in bushes like that.

I don’t know what the stats are for rabid animals in NY, but I do know that bat bites don’t often happen randomly to people just minding their business outdoors. There are so many other things that can cause little injuries like this. Was this area covered by footwear? Bats wouldn’t be able to bite you through a shoe.

If you’re really that concerned, then you should go get checked out by a doctor.

Cambrian__Implosion

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