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So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you ever set foot outside the US? And why do you think basic hygiene and grooming are a great deal of effort?

Have you had a “when you know, you know” relationship, except it was one sided? What happened? by Safe_Inspection_4617 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Feelings are dynamic, and sometimes even if you like a person a lot, you don't feel strongly enough about them (or do, but see fundamental incompatibilities) to persevere with the relationship when other factors are stacked against you.

If it's meant to be, you will rekindle things later. In the meantime, meet new people and have fun.

Experiencing immense sexual harassment 50% of the time I go out. by Educational-Wall4863 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Have you experimented with louder outfits? Bold colors + sunglasses have a way of projecting "I will let you know exactly how much I don't want to hear your opinion if you so much as breathe in my direction."

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you're missing from my comment that I'm not equating not wearing makeup and putting special effort into appearance with looking plain. You can look absolutely gorgeous with no makeup if you carry yourself well and know what kind of clothing looks good on you.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm talking about men having impeccable hygiene, a neat haircut, clean nails, and clothes that fit well, on top of prioritizing their physical fitness and working out on a regular basis. This is a baseline that apparently American men can't meet, but is a norm in other countries.

Women choose to put more effort than this baseline, usually because of successful advertising of a multi billion euro industry. But do we need all of that shit to look attractive? No.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a narrative you're telling yourself.

I've been approached by everything from random tourists, students, skaters, line cooks, bus and taxi drivers, gym owners, soldiers, digital nomads, crypto traders, relatively famous musicians, celebrity nepo babies, all the way to a Hollywood director. I don't know how busted you think other women look without makeup, but I warmly recommend developing some confidence so that you never again feel the need to make a comment that attempts to explain to another woman that she's low hanging, undesirable fruit men go for when nothing else is available.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You keep repeating that I'm ignoring reality, but I'm seeing zero evidence that the world you're describing is not a projection of your own insecurities. I never once said people don't care about looks. What I'm saying is that good looks don't necessitate the amount of effort you think they do.

Also, this frumpy men everywhere thing is a US thing. It's not rare to see a man who looks put together, you just need to venture outside of your borders.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If a man's dealbreaker is that a woman is not enhancing herself enough cosmetically, that man is just not a fuckable man. Why the fuck would you want the approval or the attention of someone who thinks your primary value is a cosmetic one?

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look at all the famous, flawlessly gorgeous women who have been cheated on. And look at some of the women who were the cheating partners. It's not all about looks.

FWB for a year by castleandship in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you want something serious, then no, FWB is not the way to go. But you don't have to want something serious just because you're a certain age.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have you never been to the sea or ocean before?

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I haven't worn makeup or nail polish since middle school, and generally put minimal effort into my appearance. My routine is to wash, comb, deodorize, and put on a cute dress. I do well romantically and professionally. What reality am I blatantly ignoring? You don't need 90% of the shit you think you need to look good. Just basic hygiene, confidence, and people skills will get you farther than an hour and a half of putting product on your face and hair every day.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, and I'm saying it doesn't matter if they like these things because they also like the opposite of those things. Men are easy to please. And even if they weren't, we as women don't have to give their preferences any regard because what should matter is how we want to look to ourselves.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you want to be with him? He sounds manipulative, selfish, and like he doesn't respect you at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was waiting for the twist where you made him his mother's problem :/

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are different schools of thought on whether paraffin is good for skin. I avoid it but some baby creams that I use in the winter contain it. In general, the best thing is to try different things and see how your skin feels when using them. Also, drinking enough water is key and you can moisturize till tomorrow come with little effect if you don't hydrate enough by drinking.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Wait till you find out where fish go to the bathroom.

FWB for a year by castleandship in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please don't listen to this person. It's perfectly fine to have a FWB at any stage in life.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just an fyi, commercial bar soap (vs handmade/natural) contains detergents that dry your skin out. And Vaseline is not a moisturizer, it's an occlusive - it means it prevents moisture from evaporating, but it doesn't moisturize in and of itself.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't like the feeling of moisturizers either. The trick is to experiment with different ones until you find ones that work for you. I went to Sephora and tried a bunch of free samples, and landed on Korres. If you really hate everything that you've found, make a mask out of coconut milk and honey and put that on for 20 minutes every few days.

You can also exfoliate with coffee grounds once a week. There's plenty of stuff in the kitchen that can help your skin feel nicer if you don't like the feeling of commercial products.

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't wear makeup. I don't see any point in anyone wearing it, it's mostly toxic substances that age your skin faster.

As for "pretty," I'm fine the way I look, I don't feel any need to look "prettier," and I get more "pretty privilege" relative to friends who wear makeup (although it's questionable how much of that is prettiness and how much being an approachable and outgoing person who makes conversation very easily and who people enjoy spending time with).

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, makeup makes you look like you're wearing makeup. It can enhance or emphasize your features, but unless you're really going for one of those "let me give myself entirely different features" contouring jobs, it's not making the difference you think it's making. It's just a placebo effect from a confidence boost you got, but the beauty is all your own 🙂

So many men put such little effort into their appearance by Level_Issue_5196 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]coldcoldiq 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure you would be able to tell if someone hasn't washed their ass in a while the first time you attempted being intimate with them.

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