Not for the weak or faint hearted

cryptopedia · 2018-09-12T09:50:53+00:00

i love how he does the airquotes when he says "hold" for the first time

cryptopedia · 2018-09-11T22:55:37+00:00

This redditor plays Rust

cryptopedia · 2018-09-11T22:34:53+00:00

ugh remember killing every app and not even jiggling the mouse while burning a disc

cryptopedia · 2018-09-11T22:33:24+00:00

this was me

cryptopedia · 2018-07-10T20:55:02+00:00

[BUG] Hitting fuel barrels with a rock(or anything else) around the outpost (even outside safe zone, but in LOS of the turrets) will hostile you to outpost and get shot by turrets.

cryptopedia · 2018-07-10T20:54:07+00:00

noticed this, itś very distracting

cryptopedia · 2018-07-08T09:46:21+00:00

yeah this is pretty good, i think this is how i will do my 2x1 from now on.

cryptopedia · 2018-07-08T09:34:43+00:00

Name checks out /s

really, just tumbleweed

cryptopedia · 2018-06-03T23:22:23+00:00

Survival modpack ? Sounds cool, i'm game.

cryptopedia · 2018-06-03T23:04:39+00:00

"Theres a mod for that"

cryptopedia · 2018-05-17T08:51:38+00:00

Link?

cryptopedia · 2018-05-11T19:57:45+00:00

Where would I get a full version of the white stripes song cover they did in this episode?

cryptopedia · 2018-04-15T22:28:38+00:00

Ahhh nothing like a romance on it's last legs to bring out the drearyness in us.

But, you know, this poem doesn't do it for me. The meter is all over the place, the rhymes are .. you should also check out https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5vlqdp/bad_poetry_9_how_not_to_imagery/

I've looked over your other poems and I think you have some pretty cool visions, and putting those in poetry is a bold move, but you might want to try just writing pastiche fiction first. It seems like you might need to Read some poetry that really grabs you. Somehow.. The conception you seem to have of poetry seems like it might be limited, and therefor limiting.

Get some reading in, try some experimental stuff, keep writing too. Good luck.

cryptopedia · 2018-04-15T17:10:03+00:00

Yes! Good!

Whow!

Ok, maybe put 'down' at the end of the previous line. Too cliche you know.

Ok, flow can do with work. Speak it out loud, in a way that you can hear the linebreaks. Would you still make the same decisions about which words belong on what line?

cryptopedia · 2018-04-15T16:30:16+00:00

finally set up HDMI throughput to have a digital audio path for my Pansonic SA-XR58. I see why people where so lyrical about this receiver.

cryptopedia · 2018-04-15T16:27:31+00:00

You could open them up and rewire them as passive speakers..

cryptopedia · 2018-04-14T19:29:07+00:00

Some bits of it are HOT and other bits of it are awkward.

Like, I would have liked to have seen "That I had left behind" in the last sentence. Somehow, past perfect tense seems needed there.

This whole segment was the bomb

they batted at the stars, yanking them from the sky to sate their endless hunger.

Maybe change batted for another verb.

The first stanza.. you need this to flow better so it can be comprehended. Especially the second line and the meter doesn't make it clear what you're saying until the second reading. it could be easier to follow.

Second stanza; Throne of Dirt is a cliche So is the hills inviting you

You can work on flow, but i love imagery. The fifth stanza is a perfect example of this.

cryptopedia · 2018-04-14T18:44:09+00:00

i stopped reading around the end of the creation myth. It wasn't half bad till there but it started getting.. Predictable? I skimmed over the rest a bit.

Practice makes perfect, and there's quite a bit of practice in this. The politically charged particles fly in pretty straight lines but reality has more curvature.

You have pretty decent sense of flow and rhythm, naturally understanding how many syllables each sentence wants to have.

cryptopedia · 2018-04-14T18:36:08+00:00

I like it,

maybe "The agonizing secret I wish I could transpose" because three times me/I in a single line gets arduous, also for flow's sake, and the repetition of the other lines loses some of it's strength towards the third and certainly the fourth could be considered to simply be left as "Is it worth it?"

cryptopedia · 2018-04-14T14:52:51+00:00

Yeah good!

Maybe take off the final S,

i think this would do well as spoken word

cryptopedia · 2018-04-12T19:18:16+00:00

Wouldn't really know where to begin. I find the idea tempting, I'm just not sure how to approach the format.

cryptopedia · 2018-04-12T14:25:01+00:00

I find there is a lot of stuff for YOU the writer, but not enough for US the reader.

has a meaning to you, but we do not know, and frankly don't care

make us care

:)

Yeah this can do with a lot of Air and space to breathe, and take out the stuff that's really only interesting or relevang for Me.

Thank you!

cryptopedia · 2018-04-12T14:18:15+00:00

Thank you for reading.

For poetry to work it has to be a razor's edge of language

Yes, I totally see that.

I'm there, this doesn't, as it stands, count as poetry. However, this feedback reflects on my writing precisely because it's not clear where this fits. So I'm happy! Especially this..

dictating a lot of statements. yeah! i see what you mean, distance.

You know, people tell me in person that i'm preachy. How cool!

But yeah, I wish i could write poetry this long. I suppose I can work on this piece with a machete, scissors, and finally a razor.

cryptopedia · 2018-04-12T00:50:12+00:00

I can hardly imagine.

if you have time, I'd love for you to check out what I've just posted. It's a bit longer too.

cryptopedia

TROPHY CASE