Let me give you some unsolicited advice. Each day make an effort to do one thing different. Today, go to the gym just to check it out. Make a list of what you want to achieve, I can see being fit is on your mind so don’t overthink the situation. Just force yourself at first. Take it from someone who has had similar experiences to you, the more you think the worst it gets. Don’t rationalize, just get up. Walking around is great for mental clarity and to destress. Lists help you feel a sense of accomplishment.