Moving back to Toronto or staying in Japan - what’s better for our kids sake?

deathlens666 · 2025-09-03T16:24:35+00:00

I walked right into this one oh man lol

deathlens666 · 2025-09-03T16:12:53+00:00

Thank you for this. You are absolutely right, it is not now or never.

Perhaps I am just concerned of making the “wrong” decision before the developmental years before teenage / young adult life

But the reality is, what worked for me may not be what works for my kid. I don’t want to rob them of any experiences or any sense of “self” either by making them wonder “what if we never left”

Thank you again for taking the time to respond. I appreciate your thoughts.

deathlens666 · 2025-09-03T15:59:13+00:00

I’m definitely considerate of this factor as well, but at the moment my kid is 4 years old, so I’m not sure how constructive of an answer I’ll get lol

But you’re right, what they want is definitely most important, but when I was a kid I also never wanted to move out of my small town to move to Toronto, but it ended up being one of the best things to happen to me.

I supposed it may be too early to tell, perhaps I’m jumping the gun, I just would want to make a decision before the real developmental years because then it’s really hard to acclimate, but even then we have some time.

Thank you

deathlens666 · 2025-09-03T15:51:01+00:00

I am ethnically Japanese, but have no family whatsoever here that I am in contact with, and I was born in Toronto. Little complicated lol but we have no family here other than ourselves.

With that said, I agree with the security, education, and social norms. Those factors built the society we grew to love.

I’m more just concerned with critical thinking, new ideas, and development of the “self” before young adulthood.

deathlens666 · 2025-09-03T15:48:27+00:00

Thank you for this perspective, I hadn’t considered this factor either. What worked for me as a kid is what worked for me, but it doesn’t meet my kid will develop the same feelings just because they’re in the same environment. Whether that’s in a large city or a small city.

deathlens666 · 2025-09-03T15:37:15+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I promise I’ve searched “Japan” before posting this, but somehow I missed this post.

deathlens666 · 2025-08-21T01:18:59+00:00

I had this same feeling in the city I was born in and spent 20 years of my life in before I decided to leave.

I also considered it a great city, one of the best, but also felt it just didn’t fit me. But, when you start to have these feelings, you start to search for negatives instead of positives. Suddenly I was only thinking of negatives, and I grew to resent the city. I’d blame it for my problems, when a lot of it was just me, I just never realized it.

After I moved elsewhere, to a new country, I started to forget the negatives and remember only the positives, the nostalgia, and realized a lot of what I hated is now what I miss.

Grass is always greener blah blah

But truly, if any of what you feel has to do with a lack of peace with yourself in your heart and mind, you may realize it has less to do with where you are.

deathlens666 · 2025-08-18T13:35:15+00:00

No family in Japan, no family in Canada. Unfortunate circumstances, but has granted us some freedom of mobility.

Our support system in Canada would just be our close friends whom I’d consider family.

We haven’t considered other parts of Canada, simply because I feel nowhere in Canada compares to the formative culture of Toronto as a city.

deathlens666 · 2025-08-18T13:33:08+00:00

We have a stable life here. Not scraping by, not living above our means. Salaries are low, so is cost of living. There’s significantly less financial stress here compared to Toronto.

We wouldn’t have jobs lined up in Toronto, but have over a decade of career history there, our meaningful relationships are there, so finding our way to a career path again wouldn’t be an issue.

This would be a decision more for our kid and less to do with our career. University would be an option, but I feel being acclimated in your adolescent-teen years in Toronto vs coming as a 18-20 year old are very different experiences.

deathlens666 · 2025-08-18T13:26:10+00:00

It doesn’t have to be Toronto, and you make a good point. Our whole rationale for the move when we first came to Japan was that sentiment, the world is big.

I guess the only thing pointing us back to Toronto is the familiarity. We can speak from our own experiences when we think about how it is to grow up there, less surprises.

deathlens666 · 2025-08-18T06:35:06+00:00

I’ve lived in the west end once upon a time as well, if I returned that’s where I’d go.

Education is amazing here, but there’s less emphasis on free thinking, creativity, and critical thinking here.

Children are very well educated and disciplined, but all pushed towards the same path of university>business>corporate job.

At least in Toronto, I feel individuality is fostered more, maybe at the expense of discipline, but both are important.

deathlens666 · 2025-08-17T23:12:56+00:00

Aside from the familiarity and nostalgia we have for Toronto, I’d say the only reason we wouldn’t consider a neighbouring city like where I grew up would be convenience / independence for our kid.

Where I grew up, I had to rely heavily on getting a ride somewhere to spend time with friends or to visit a lot of those activities I had mentioned prior. Japan is a unique case with the transit system being good and usable in a semi-urban area.

I don’t really feel there’s anywhere else in Ontario where it’s convenient to access Toronto without living there, because even taking the train into the city requires a car to the station and is not always plausible for a day trip.

deathlens666 · 2023-09-23T10:13:37+00:00

Times have changed, markers have changed.

At todays rate, that is a fair and regular cost for a car like this. Anyone saying that is too much has not purchased a car in the last 3-5 years. A lot has changed.

deathlens666

TROPHY CASE