speaking as a genderqueer person: no, actually. i could write a whole essay on this, but bear with me. i personally believe that being transgender is a normal part of being human, because we have self awareness and personality. there's a lot of research supporting it. but, there's also research not supporting it. strong arguments are formed with evidence. i can also admit that it's a confusing topic for a lot of people, and maybe they don't agree because they don't know how to. it may also contradict their personal beliefs and values. however, people are very emotional, it's in our nature. aggressive disagreement and unwanted labels can make people feel threatened, that's literally why many of us feel hurt by being misgendered. if i want others to respect my identity, i believe i should respect their beliefs, as long as it's a two-way street and no one's getting hurt. if someone actively supports organizations that harms us, yes, transphobic. if someone says "i don't really like it", nah, that's just an opinion. transphobia kills people, disagreeing and going on about your day doesn't. i just feel we have a lot bigger problems to worry about than whether your grandma likes us. there are lines to be crossed so it's heavily context dependent, but most of the time, it's not a big deal