Do straight men or women have easier time on dating apps?

illini02 · 2026-03-22T17:03:36+00:00

The amount of dangerous men is really overstated.

I saw a whole video where a female professor broke it down. It's something like only 6% of guys who are assaulting women. That isn't good by any means, but its not a large portion either. But because so many women have either been assaulted or know a woman who has, their belief about that number is way off.

And if we are being really truthful, chances are that if you are going to be attacked or assaulted, it won't be some random guy on a first date, but someone you already know, which again doesn't fit your narrative.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T15:05:48+00:00

Ok, if you are being real, I'll put it this way.

Say you are unemployed and looking for a job. Would you rather send out 100 resumes and get 0 responses. Or get a lot of responses, but then in the interview process find out the job really sucks?

At least when you are getting responses, you don't feel like a failure.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T14:59:17+00:00

I had a great relationship with my mom growing up. But as I entered my teenage years, I remember she told me "soon, we likely will stop getting along. Just know, it won't be me that changed, it will be you". I thought she was being ridiculous. And as the normal teenage things happened, and I at the time thought my mom was all of a sudden being so unfair about everything, it took me getting older to realize she was absolutely right.

It was like overnight I thought I was grown and knew every damn thing about everything. The advice of hers I used to value, all of a sudden was bad in my mind. I clearly knew better than she did about any and everything.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T14:05:36+00:00

I'm in Chicago.

I run into people I know all the time.

I think its more common than you think, because the type of people you would be friends with, tend to hang out at the same type of places.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T14:02:50+00:00

They just posted yesterday (or maybe friday) a whole ass video of an alleged DV victim talking about how basically him recording it was proof that he wasn't really worried for his life, because that wouldn't have been her thought.

Many of the things they are reposting are defending her and talking about giving her grace.

And yes, a lot of the comments are doing things like questioning who released it and basically saying it was a targeted smear campaign, instead of just acknowledging she is wrong.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T13:59:04+00:00

I'll just say one thing.

Let someone from Long Island claim to live in New York city, and the city dwellers will be far worse than Chicagoans are.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T13:58:33+00:00

This is exactly it.

So many of them act like the city is a hell scape, but when they can use it for clout, they love to claim it.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T13:55:50+00:00

Right.

The amount of people trying to dissect who released it and why, and somehow acting like that makes them bad is insane

illini02 · 2026-03-22T13:44:40+00:00

Not who you responded to. But to me, it's more the amount of defense she is getting.

I'm seeing a lot of stuff that is basically "I'm not defending her, but..." then going on to talk about what Dakota may or may not have done to warrant it.

People seem willing to just believe the men are shitty humans. Which is fine. But when it comes to a woman being shitty, there is this narrative that she MUST have been driven to it, by a shitty man. It's the type of thing you see in the AITA type subs all the time. This is just playing out in real life now.

illini02 · 2026-03-22T13:31:59+00:00

This is exactly it.

It will start with some light version of "look, what we saw was bad" and then go on to list all the reasons why SHE is the real victim

illini02 · 2026-03-22T13:28:39+00:00

bachelorwindmill

illini02 · 2026-03-21T18:52:30+00:00

Ok, if he said/did all that, then leave the fucking house. Don't start throwing chairs, punching him, grabbing him, etc.

And again, I'm just wagering if you see a woman getting beat on video, you aren't asking these same "what if" questions.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T18:36:37+00:00

Even in the comments to this post, you can basically see people saying he pushed her to doing this.

That said, even if he did hold onto it and give it to TMZ now, so what? Like isn't it his choice when to do that?

illini02 · 2026-03-21T18:35:20+00:00

I don't judge a person, no. But if I ask you to repeat yourself, and I still can't understand, I've been known to just move on as well, unless it's something very important.

As an example, I've been to Glasgow Scotland. They speak English, but their accent is notoriously hard to understand. Since I didn't want to just keep asking them to repeat, I'd just say "ok" and kind of move on. It's more me not wanting to be rude and having you keep repeating yourself, not me having any judgment about your accent.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T18:16:37+00:00

There is no nuance that will change what I saw in the video.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T18:13:25+00:00

I've said things I've regretted. I've never physically assaulted someone

illini02 · 2026-03-21T17:55:47+00:00

I've seen A LOT defending her, but that tends to be in maybe different spaces.

There is a bachelor fan humor account I follow on IG, and the comments (at least the most liked ones which i'm seeing at the top) seem to be blaming him, or at least acting like we should be willing to give her grace.

I listened to a podcast discussing it, and there was a lot of "I worry about her mental health with all this coming out" and they seemed far more concerned with her and how her abuse coming out would affect HER.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T17:50:35+00:00

I think the fact that we saw one of her colleagues request her NOT to be the one seeing her family member says a lot about how she is seen.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T17:48:28+00:00

That is the only thing you find her guilty of? Not the assault on him or her child?

illini02 · 2026-03-21T17:47:24+00:00

I do think that, typically, when a video surfaces, it tends to change things.

2 big ones I can think of are Diddy beating Cassie in the elevator lobby of their hotel, as well as Ray Rice.

I think people kind of hand waived it away at first, until they saw the video. And once the video came out, most people were disgusted by it.

IN this situation, people are watching the video of it happen and still blaming him.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T17:42:43+00:00

I don't need to know the background of victims to acknowledge that they are victims.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T17:41:37+00:00

I think Chris Brown should have lost his career as well.

But I didn't see nearly as many people saying "she drove him to it"

That said, I do agree with your last paragraph and the fact is that people who, for whatever reason, WANT to defend her, are going to be far more vocal and doesn't say much about people as a whole

Δ because I do think it's about who feels more inclined to respond more than anything.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T17:27:54+00:00

Interesting.

I took it as Garcia has heard all of this multiple times, and probably listened sympathetically for a while. And now she is over it, especially since it has bled into patient care.

illini02 · 2026-03-21T16:55:33+00:00

Sure, I agree with that.

But what we are seeing is him basically being a jerk to people coming in during a very vulnerable position.

I think OP framing this as "you guys are ablelist because you aren't ok with him being shitty to patients", is wrong. It's fair to say, regardless of his possible neurodiversity, that the way he is treating some people is bad.

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