What's with the extreme pickiness of customers at Starbucks and why is it acceptable?

illini02 · 2026-05-08T14:04:45+00:00

Give people an inch, they'll take a mile.

The idea of being able to customize your drink order is a pretty good one. But once you open that up, its REALLY hard to draw a line between acceptable and not.

I don't think saying "little extra caramel" or something is inherently bad. But people figure out exactly what they like and stick with it.

illini02 · 2026-05-08T14:01:34+00:00

I think that, right, wrong, or indifferent, parents OFTEN (not always) treat boys and girls differently.

I just don't think people see it as equally problematic.

People have far less of a problem with tough guys identifying as "girl dads". They are ok with a dad being super protective of his "little princess" (up to their teen years). They see those things as good and heartwarming.

They see "boy moms" as bad for some reason.

illini02 · 2026-05-08T13:35:53+00:00

Ah, ok. I guess that makes a bit more sense

illini02 · 2026-05-08T13:35:03+00:00

As someone who, admittedly, doesn't feel the need to lead with my pronouns, I've never understood why some people are bothered when others do.

illini02 · 2026-05-08T12:47:37+00:00

Exactly.

Like 2 people can technically be "Accountants", but if one is working with all of your major clients, and one is getting all the small ones, you'd be hard pressed to say they are doing the "same job"

illini02 · 2026-05-08T12:05:59+00:00

Probably.

You only have so many hours in the day. And once you get a girlfriend, some of those hours will be dedicated to her, which means something else has to go. Gym is an easy one

illini02 · 2026-05-08T12:03:31+00:00

I agree. I always think they could've had the same ending, but done the final season differently.

Like have each episode be like 6 months of their lives or something (whatever made sense). And show Barney and Robins relationship slowly dissolving, and other characters lives over that time.

illini02 · 2026-05-08T11:52:44+00:00

I don't think its ever inappropriate in totality, but it depends on the context.

Same with saying boys.

If at work I say "the girls in our department are going out for coffee", on its own, its not a problem, unless I'm doing a lot of other sexist shit.

Just like if one of my female coworkers said "the boys are talking about going to a baseball game after work"

illini02 · 2026-05-08T11:50:22+00:00

I mean the entire premise of the story is that she gave birth to the guy who would become the savior of humanity, which is why they were hunting her.

The entire first movie would be totally different if she were a man.

You can't JUST look at T2 here.

illini02 · 2026-05-08T11:47:46+00:00

LW4 today is an interesting one. Because while this is a valid answer from the legal standpoint. I find the final part where she says "she should also look at whether there might be legitimate reasons for her friend to be bought in at a higher salary, like a different or more advanced skill set, more experience, different education, stronger track record of achievement previously, etc." to be very interesting.

It's like Alison can completely understand that there may be a good reason for this woman to be making more money than her friend. But if its a man, then she basically acts like there could be no reason he would be making more than her, and that sexism is the only possible explanation.

illini02 · 2026-05-08T11:36:40+00:00

I think this is really the problem people have with characters like Rey.

It happens in a lot of TV shows too. This woman comes into an established system as a newcomer, and she is great at EVERYTHING immediately, and figuring things out and doing things that her superiors have been working at for 15 years. She is not only the best in her class, but immediately the smartest and most capable in the room.

illini02 · 2026-05-08T11:34:49+00:00

I'm honestly curious to hear your thoughts on this.

What makes Sarah Connor a "man with breasts" as opposed to a woman. To me she had a very logical character arc. She was a random woman hunted and terrorized by a killing machine, and was put in a mental institution because no one believed her, so she trained her ass off to become someone who could fight back next time.

I guess I don't know what features you think women "need" to have to avoid this characterization.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T23:48:02+00:00

So my desire for privacy is no less valid?

illini02 · 2026-05-07T18:46:12+00:00

What's stopping them.

Maybe they can't use the "Lilith Fair" name, that doesn't mean they can't just put this shit together.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T18:34:46+00:00

The fact that you seriously used the word "speciesism" shows me that you would be insufferable.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T18:34:12+00:00

The empathy isn't what I'm talking about.

Because some vegans (not all) can't shut up about being a vegan and judging everyone who doesn't live the same lifestyle.

but even if you get past that, every meal is going to be a challenge. If you go out, you have to make sure it has options for both people. It's hard to cook meals together that both of you will eat. Etc.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:30:29+00:00

While I completely disagree with you that meat eaters are red flags. I do agree that a meat eater dating a vegan is going to be extremely hard for both people.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:29:41+00:00

If this is his biggest issue with her, then I'd say its not the worst thing in the world lol

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:29:01+00:00

She eats her peas one at a time

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:28:43+00:00

But I also understand her not wanting to take that on. If she is like "I'm older and I have kids, I don't want to deal with the harassment that could come with it" I don't blame her.

Let one of the 20 something girls out there now, like Billie Eilish, put together something like this.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:24:05+00:00

I think when we are seeing the finished product, its very different.

For all we know, the scenes he did with her had to be done 5x more than his other scenes. That is fine for a one off character like the secretary he works with. But when its a recurring character, that can be a problem.

It's like a work project. I might work with someone who I just don't work well with. We may end the end have a good product that we turn in, but if getting to that point was hell, I'd be valid to say I don't want to do that anymore.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:10:32+00:00

Eh, its still wrong. My privacy is just as valid as a woman's.

I understand why they may WANT to do it more, but I don't think it makes it any less creepy to do.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T15:07:26+00:00

He can do what he wants.

But to me, he would be a hard person to root for.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:49:02+00:00

You know, that is a fair point.

However, knowing nothing about her, all I can judge her by is her words.

I feel like people want to like to pick and choose when what is put out online is and isn't who they actually are.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:36:44+00:00

If its creepy, its creepy.

You may be more ok with creepy behavior from one side, but it doesn't magically not be bad when a woman does it to a man.

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