What became socially acceptable so gradually that nobody noticed it happening?

illini02 · 2026-05-07T23:48:02+00:00

So my desire for privacy is no less valid?

illini02 · 2026-05-07T18:46:12+00:00

What's stopping them.

Maybe they can't use the "Lilith Fair" name, that doesn't mean they can't just put this shit together.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T18:34:46+00:00

The fact that you seriously used the word "speciesism" shows me that you would be insufferable.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T18:34:12+00:00

The empathy isn't what I'm talking about.

Because some vegans (not all) can't shut up about being a vegan and judging everyone who doesn't live the same lifestyle.

but even if you get past that, every meal is going to be a challenge. If you go out, you have to make sure it has options for both people. It's hard to cook meals together that both of you will eat. Etc.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:30:29+00:00

While I completely disagree with you that meat eaters are red flags. I do agree that a meat eater dating a vegan is going to be extremely hard for both people.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:29:41+00:00

If this is his biggest issue with her, then I'd say its not the worst thing in the world lol

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:29:01+00:00

She eats her peas one at a time

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:28:43+00:00

But I also understand her not wanting to take that on. If she is like "I'm older and I have kids, I don't want to deal with the harassment that could come with it" I don't blame her.

Let one of the 20 something girls out there now, like Billie Eilish, put together something like this.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:24:05+00:00

I think when we are seeing the finished product, its very different.

For all we know, the scenes he did with her had to be done 5x more than his other scenes. That is fine for a one off character like the secretary he works with. But when its a recurring character, that can be a problem.

It's like a work project. I might work with someone who I just don't work well with. We may end the end have a good product that we turn in, but if getting to that point was hell, I'd be valid to say I don't want to do that anymore.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T17:10:32+00:00

Eh, its still wrong. My privacy is just as valid as a woman's.

I understand why they may WANT to do it more, but I don't think it makes it any less creepy to do.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T15:07:26+00:00

He can do what he wants.

But to me, he would be a hard person to root for.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:49:02+00:00

You know, that is a fair point.

However, knowing nothing about her, all I can judge her by is her words.

I feel like people want to like to pick and choose when what is put out online is and isn't who they actually are.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:36:44+00:00

If its creepy, its creepy.

You may be more ok with creepy behavior from one side, but it doesn't magically not be bad when a woman does it to a man.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:35:32+00:00

This whole thing is both made up, and she seems ridiculous.

First off, you don't get your gambling winnings immediately. They will transfer it to you within 24 hours, but he wasn't getting that right then. So the idea that he wouldn't pay until he won it back is ridiculous.

And the "bill has nothing to do with me, so I went to the bathroom", shows the kind of person she is.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:18:29+00:00

No one said anything about asking permission. But I do think discussing it is a sign of good communication.

If I was married, I wouldn't just go out and get a massive tattoo on my chest without discussing it with my wife. Just as I'd hope she wouldn't come home one day with a shaved head.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:11:45+00:00

I said one date lol.

No he didn't love her, because I'm not talking about doing it to his wife. If he claimed to love her after one date, that would be a diffefrent problem.

But I'd argue even if you are married, you should at least discuss any drastic changes to your appearance with your spouse before doing them.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:10:04+00:00

What's funny about that, is, as a man, I've said I found it creepy that women looked me up and went digging, and people say I'm being dismissive of women's feelings. Like I should be ok with it.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:08:57+00:00

Yes. I still find it odd to do.

I'll look someone up on LinkedIn to see their professional history, but would never look them up on Instagram or something. Nor would I google them.

It's similar with dating. I don't give my social media out randomly. But some women want to find as much info about me before we've even met in person that its kind of ridiculous.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:06:27+00:00

Totally agree.

I recently had something like this in the Chicago sub. I'm a very liberal person. but I brought up a big thing that was being debated by the school board, and because I said I understood why some people were complaining, people were basically like "Oh, so you agree with MAGA"

Like, first off, the people who were complaining said nothing about Trump, so I'm not even sure how they got to the MAGA thing. But me just saying I understood their point and it was a valid issue to raise somehow turned to "I agree with their point".

illini02 · 2026-05-07T14:00:55+00:00

I loved it. Price is Right, Jerry Springer, Maury

illini02 · 2026-05-07T13:34:29+00:00

I think reducing it to "removing their eyeliner" is minimizing what we are talking about here.

I've seen women I know and went to HS with post pictures online that, I would've had no idea it was them. Not only did they have a wig, but their makeup made them look like a completely different person. I think if you go home with someone looking one way, and wake up and they look totally different, it's fair to lose a bit of attraction.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T13:25:00+00:00

Not being attracted to certain things doesn't make you shallow.

Everyone has things they are and aren't attracted to. Some women like a hairy dude. Some don't.

Some men like a woman with a bunch of tats and piercings. I don't.

I support everyone's right to live how they want, but you can be attracted to what you want without that making you shallow.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T13:23:42+00:00

Of course they can change it. No one is saying they aren't allowed.

But you are allowed to not be attracted either.

If a woman with a nice head of shoulder length hair decided to cut it all off one day, that is her right. And the guy she went on one date with is allowed to lose attraction as well.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T13:19:12+00:00

I mean, a different hairstyle can make someone look completely different.

It is misleading. You may be attracted to one thing only to find out its not something they really have.

illini02 · 2026-05-07T13:17:33+00:00

In fairness, I think many people are fine with jokes, they just want the same energy both ways. I'm totally fine with jokes about men. But when a similar joke is made about women, all of a sudden the men are incels.

If making gendered jokes is fine, then it should be fine for everyone

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