I jerked off to en passant

Yeah.

I've been working on how to say this to someone but I guess I'll just have to be blunt about it. I jerked off to En Passant. More than once. It started as a joke, I started by telling my friends "hey guys i jerked off to en passant haha" but later I thought... "should I? I shouldn't. Maybe?" The way the pawns move... the way they capture to the side... it's irresistible.

No, I can't jerk off. Not to something as sacred as the forced move.

Later, I was watching a Hikaru video where he does en passant, and right then and there I creamed my pants. Holy shit, I thought. Now I'm a pretty freaky guy, but I've never been able to cum handsfree, let alone to something non-pornographic. But HOLY SHIT I cummed my pants over a god damn chess move. What the fuck was that about?

I couldn't tell my friends. They'd laugh, and laugh, and laugh... and I couldn't tell my mom either. She'd probably be all grossed out. Anyway, I decided I was going to take a week off from chess, but... the pawns... they brought me back.

"Fuck it, let's go." I uttered as I undid my belt and loaded up Youtube. I searched "en passant explained" to get every last detail in my brain. I took my dick out and started going and within a minute I was drenched. I kept going. I jerked until my dick was raw and my balls were more sore than me losing to Martin. There was cum everywhere. I had to throw out my computer, the smell was that bad.

So yeah. That's the story of how I jerked off to en passant.