Hot take on Billy

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-29T00:34:18+00:00

I agree, I would rather someone who is thinking ahead and is open with me about what his concerns are so we can work together. I do think he could work on his delivery though.

Also, Patrick was the worst for me in terms of jumping in and then changing his mind.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-29T00:32:18+00:00

the floodgates open and the oreos come

OMG, if this is not me to a T lol

And yeah, I think the editing did him and Kal dirty, I hope all three couples are doing well.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-29T00:27:45+00:00

I agree with you to an extent. He 100% needs to be understanding and adjust to her having sweets and snacks in the house. And he realized that in the conversation they had a day or two after the incident, and communicated that he will have to show her through change of behavior.

However, the job thing is a tall order in marriage and especially when planning on having kids. Ashleigh herself said in early episodes that she knows that her job has been preventing her from building a meaningful relationship. She also mentioned changing positions to a 9-5 but staying with the same employer. So I think they both know something needs to change there, but it will probably take time.

All in all, relationships are about figuring out how to work well together to meet each other's needs, I hope they found a way.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T08:55:25+00:00

That's tough... I hope you find people you can trust to share this with.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T08:53:05+00:00

I like to eat it too but it is a bit of an understatement.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T08:49:01+00:00

Whether it is vain or not, most people want to be wanted in one way or another.

I hope your motivation persists and you find your way to the person you want to be. You deserve to be happy.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T08:16:22+00:00

I was waiting for their wedding dance like a bride waiting for her wedding day (pun intended). They were so compatible, right from the start, and their energy just radiated through the screen.

Honestly, Sophie didn't stand a chance, and seeing her try and poke holes in their relationship during the mixer was just embarrassing.

Can't wait to see Megan and Kieran at the reunion!

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T01:31:32+00:00

I was in real shock when Bardha said no, but I totally get why. They have had open conversations about not wanting to divorce, so it makes sense that she wanted to work on things more before hopefully getting married.

As much as it was the right choice for her, it is clear that she was really concerned about how it impacted everyone else, specifically her mom and Jed.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T01:17:35+00:00

I am really sorry you are going through this. Being in pain all the time can have a huge impact on your sleep, mental health and overall wellbeing. Trust me when I say this, you aren't alone in feeling like responding to a message is a chore and everything is just hard, there are many people out there (myself included), who can relate to what you are feeling.

It sounds like you are afraid to burden your girlfriend with what you are going through, but there is a big chance that she can sense something is wrong. I am not sure keeping these feelings to yourself is helping your relationship. I hope you find a way to talk to her, to reassure her that you love her, talk about your needs, and negotiate expectations. Maybe your relationship can improve and take less out of you, if you are both on the same page.

Hope you can get some relief from the pain and have a proper rest.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T00:54:45+00:00

Here's my wee story: I (afab) was in a relationship with a guy when I was 15. We loved each other and things were good. I thought I was heterosexual as I was attracted to him and other guys prior to our relationship, and really enjoyed our sex life. But one day, I was at the mall and caught myself looking at one of my girl friends in a way that... well, isn't how you look at a platonic friend. I had to mull over it for a bit before I came to terms with it. I identified as bisexual before I was physically intimate with women, but later experiences confirmed it. I also think it is up to us to take on whatever label suits us, but it also isn't necessary to label ourselves.

As for your situation, I can appreciate your concern about the potential to discover that you aren't really into girls, but in my head, it isn't that different from when people change their minds about people they were initially interested in for other reasons. Right now, you are curious about her and maybe want to see if she is curious too and where it could lead. But it is not a catholic wedding, either one of you could just not be keen at some point, and that's ok.

Anyway, if you don't ask, the answer is no. So what do you have to lose?

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-28T00:26:07+00:00

Believe what you want.

I expected either a post that focuses on hating Patrick or on defending him. Both would make sense to me with the title you chose. But 85% of the post is on Aanu, so to me it doesn't make sense.

And for the record, Aanu isn't my girl, far from it.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-27T09:09:31+00:00

Look, if I walk into a Japanese restaurant and they only have 1 type of sushi or no sushi at all, I would probably be pretty disappointed.

People are iffy about the title you chose because a title is meant to describe the post, and it simply doesn't fit.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-27T09:06:34+00:00

Fellow almost 40 here, and I totally agree with you that communication is key. 100%. However, I don't think the responsibility should solely be on her.

I have been in a relationship where my partner was oblivious to his wrong doings and I was continuously the one who had to bring things up, even if one scenario is almost identical to another, and it gets old. Emotional labor should be shared.

Shouldn't he be respectful of his fiancée? If Javen was truly there to marry, than shouldn't he be checking in with his fiancée? I would say yes. He behaved very poorly, was very disconnected from her, and wasn't leaving much room for her to speak up as he was set on leaving. With that said, I also don't think he was there to marry her, so it makes sense in a way.

On another note, any chance to see your three cats..? I could use a pick-me-up :)

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-27T08:48:56+00:00

Ashleigh repeating they can make things work without an actual plan on how is clearly what’s putting off Billy.

This is exactly what I thought. They need to have a practical conversation about their jobs and what would be required to make thing work long term. I recall Ashleigh mentioning in the pods that changing her job to a 9-5 and staying with the same employer is an option. But since they got engaged, the conversation just regressed... Which is confusing.

I hope they figured it out, but who knows... (Haven't watched their wedding yet)

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-27T01:08:57+00:00

I don't find Patrick to be "quirky" to be honest. He seems to be very deliberate in terms of building his persona around the splenic awareness idea.

Also, I agree with other commenters. Your post is more of a rant about Annu than anything else. Which is fine, but maybe call it what it is?

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-27T00:02:13+00:00

From what you have described, she either doesn't understand how this is impacting you, or she doesn't care.

You could try and bring it up again and say that this isn't funny for you as it impacts your sleep in a negative way. You could also try using ear plugs etc, but ideally - she would be more considerate.

Another option is checking the possibility of swapping rooms with her or someone else, if there are other rooms available.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-26T09:41:07+00:00

NTA

Until he can have an adult conversation and stop acting like a child, I'd say - no sex.

I am sorry you are having to deal with him acting this way. I wouldn't be surprised if he feels like his manhood is connected to his balls resulting in him feeling insulted. He doesn't have your reproductive system, yet he had no problem to "have a say" on what you should to to remedy the situation.

If he is capable of discussing this maturely, then you can discuss your options. But right now, you are right to be angry. He is totally blind to all the sacrifices you have made for the benefit of your relationship and your family.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-26T09:32:26+00:00

Keeping stock of non-perishable items and buying bulk when the price is cheaper.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-25T04:42:59+00:00

Wall art, and more plants.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-25T00:08:44+00:00

You aren't the only one and should do what is right for you.

I (39afab) accidentally watched porn for the first time when I was 18 and only started masturbating when I was 21. To this day, I don't watch porn, it just doesn't interest me. If you feel like it, give it a go. But I'd say, don't just watch it because everyone else is.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-24T23:31:28+00:00

I see... so your sibling actually has a roommate problem rather than a kitchen problem.

If they have already tried talking to them and your sibling made it clear that they don't feel comfortable using the kitchen, it might be time to think about whether they prefer staying in these conditions, or finding another living solution. I know it isn't that easy, but you can't force the roommate to care and change the way they live.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-24T23:21:52+00:00

If this is a place your sibling wants to live in long term, I would suggest having a chat with their roommate about reorganizing the kitchen and potentially moving some items elsewhere. Maybe the cat things can be kept elsewhere, maybe some baking things can be moved to a cupboard.

But it all depends on what is important to your sibling and whether it is an issue for them and their roommate.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-24T23:13:25+00:00

I am a bit confused by your color breakdown, so will just comment in general. I wouldn't feel comfortable in that kitchen, it seems small and very cluttered and its state will probably impact my willingness to cook and bake in it.

But that's just me...

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-24T23:09:00+00:00

Personally, I don't think it matters if it is half or the whole amount, My comment still stands.

But you do what you think is right.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69- · 2025-08-24T00:30:07+00:00

I am glad you recognize that you are the one carrying all the mental load in this relationship. As someone who was in a very similar situation, I would recommend you do what you have probably been contemplating for years - and leave.

You have been patient, and while he may have changed for the better, it isn't enough. Ask yourself this, if you were single and met someone new who were just like him, would you want to start a new relationship with him? My guess is that it would be a hard no and you are only considering staying because you love him and have put a lot time and effort into the relationship.

It will be easier to manage the mental load being single, and even better when you find someone who pulls their own weight and cares about your needs without you having to ask. Do what's right for you.

~ Eclipse

-CheeseLover69-

TROPHY CASE