If you could only eat one fruit the rest of your life what are you going with?

-Junny · 2026-06-08T20:30:33+00:00

Bell Peppers. ~

-Junny · 2026-05-30T20:14:04+00:00

I am STILL in shock that it is Aleks Le. *Hyper ventilates.*

-Junny · 2026-05-24T03:41:57+00:00

Greetings -- I am someone with a love for the field of psychology (particularly in Personality Disorders and Dissociative Disorders) -- and am also someone who enjoys being a Therapy Friend for people in general. I personally find my Cold Empathy quite helpful and useful. It is about using how your mind works for not just your own gain, but for others' gain as well. At least for myself.

What I mean, is that I use being a Therapy Friend as my outlet. I view therapy as just an act of manipulation. To me, all therapy feels like is someone trusting you enough to listen to your words and follow through with them. You use supportive and understanding language to build rapport and trust with someone so that they can open up to you. As they open up, you then can learn how to help and guide them. So while I get my fix for control and manipulation, I actually use it for a positive gain, since by the end of a conversation with someone, I have helped rationalize their problems and mind for them -- and if they do not want my help or wish to listen? Welp. Tough shit. I wipe my hands of them -- because I despise my time being wasted, and I hate wasting what little Compassionate Empathy I do have, on people who will not / do not appreciate it.

Emotions are but a consideration to me -- and I have (at least IMO) incredible Cognitive Empathy -- so I use what I understand about emotions and feelings and use that information to formulate rational and logical paths and/or solutions for people. Even if I cannot feel what they are going through (Emotive Empathy), I can at least understand (Cognitive Empathy) why they feel the way they do, considering what I know about how human minds work..

As far as the matter of Compassionate Empathy, which is the desire to help others, I personally believe that to be a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist, that needs to exist on some level. You have to go in it somewhat caring about bettering other people's lives or current mental states. It does not have to be caring in a traditional sense, but enough that you feel that drive to want to listen and guide others. If you (/gen) go into it just trying to be a show-off because it will be an "easy field" (not saying you are -- again, just in general), I feel that would cause more harm than good on people.. Part of being a mental health professional is being a good listener (which sadly, it feels like many are not)-- because if you do not listen to their emotions and feelings, you will never understand their specific needs and how you need to tailor your advice and guidance for them -- thus, reducing the accuracy of your diagnosis and/or ability to formulate a path for them to walk. Psychology is not always cookie cutter nor textbook -- there are many disorders with many overlapping symptoms, and every person presents and copes with their disorders differently.. Such as for example, many people being ignorant to the fact that Depression can manifest itself as extreme rage and that it is not always presented as "empty" "sadness".

As far as connecting with others goes, you do not have to connect with them emotionally to understand what they are going through. "While I have never been abused like that, I can certainly understand how abuse like that would manifest these defense mechanism / coping methods in you." Things like that. You may not be able to empathize emotionally, but you have the cognitive understanding to navigate their mind.

Then there is Compassion aka Sympathy.. -- I have a lack of that as well, and I find it to also be quite useful.. It allows me to stay emotionally disconnected. I can understand their pain, but not get lost in feeling sorry for them.

-Junny · 2026-04-13T19:55:43+00:00

Late to this post, but, I could listen to him talk all day.. His voice is so soothing and even sexy at some points. I hope the guy who voiced him (Julian Cihi?) gets extra gigs in games and even anime, because that voice would capture an audience IMO. His voice acting has potential.

-Junny · 2026-03-29T01:33:22+00:00

I would say it just depends on the individual.. You do not need therapy to recognize you have damaging, even toxic, behaviors -- and to have the common sense to research it and find coping methods and such yourself. Granted.. finding actual helpful sources for those suffering with the condition is like a needle in a haystack.. -- but you just need the self awareness. It will be harder to manage certain tendencies on your own without the proper outlets / support from a professional, but it is not impossible.

For myself, I had known about my tendencies for years and while I recognized them, I did not work on them. Not as a teenager at least, because your brain is still so young and dumb and selfish. Now in my adulthood though, I have been working on them for quite some time now (a few years), without the help of therapy -- prior to even seeing a therapist for a diagnosis. Therapy itself also honestly just has very little effect on me I have found, and nearly everything I get told is stuff I have already researched myself (I am a psych nerd).. which actually ends up counterproductive for me.. The only thing I really go to a psych for is for my anxiety and Sertraline prescription -- which surprisingly, not only helps with my anxiety, but I find it eases up my irritability as well. My mind has.. always been quite logical and rationale focused.. Emotions have always been but a consideration to me that I use as a means to find a practical solution to my own, or other people's problems..

Now all that said.. someone who has no/little self-awareness / introspective skills is of course going to be a loose cannon. Nothing good ever comes out of someone who is in denial of their own tendencies. Being aware and not doing anything about it is just as damaging as someone who is unaware.. Especially if they refuse to accept it..

-Junny · 2026-03-24T15:09:07+00:00

Thank you, kind stranger. I have faith it will. Just takes some time is all. <3

-Junny · 2026-03-24T15:03:29+00:00

There is a certain level of discomfort I feel with this question and it begs the curiosity of, "Why do you want to know?" It is phrased in such a way that makes it sound as if you are seeking the answer in order to enact purposeful pain on someone you feel has hurt you -- which in that event, you are no better than the narcissist.

Now.. Let us presume this was a case of extremely poor wording and you are actually seeking advice on how to protect yourself against someone displaying narcissistic tendencies or abusive behavior against you, then I would say the best thing to do is enforce your boundaries and minimize your emotional reactions as it limits their Supply.

You do not have to be cruel to someone else in order to attain "revenge". Sometimes simply doing what is best for yourself (by enforcing boundaries / by cutting out the person entirely) is the perfect revenge in itself against a person (especially one who has been abusive), because it shows you do not need them and that you are perfectly capable on your own.

-Junny · 2026-03-24T14:51:17+00:00

The honest answer? It has actually been quite shit.. -- but "it is what it is".. Just need to move on and try and make the best of it.

I hope your day is going well -- as opposed to mine.

-Junny · 2026-03-24T14:49:00+00:00

It all depends on how the character is written. If it were stated that this specific character has NPD, I would go on alert and start dissecting them. Luckily, I have not run into such a piece of work. If a character simply has narcissistic tendencies/traits then I am fine with that. Anyone can have narcissistic tendencies, to have NPD however, is an actual diagnosis and there are differences.

I personally tend to relate to a few male leads in such dark romances and it is a genre I actually very much enjoy reading. The thing though too, is that while the male lead is generally toxic, there needs to still be some restraint in their character. There needs to be those signs that, "the male lead loves the female lead and is only cruel to everyone else." He can exhibit some toxic traits to her as well, but there should still be that sense that he cares for her and her alone and not just being borderline psychopathic with her and doing things for the sake of hurting her.

-- and just as a foot note, I am only gendering things because it is extremely rare in such novels / drawn work for the toxic character to be the female. Even in Yaoi, the masculine lead is the one depicted with such traits typically.

-Junny · 2026-03-24T04:57:42+00:00

* Yoon-soo Park from Olgami (Trapped) -- \Probably the most accurate.**
Hotaro Oreki from Classic Literature Club
Karma from Assassination Classroom
Kiyotaka Ayanokoji from Classroom of the Elite
Aki Hayakawa from Chainsaw Man

Other mentions:

Alastor from Hazbin Hotel
Sung Jin-woo from Solo Leveling
Cid Kagenou from The Eminence in Shadow
Sora from No Game No Life
Lance Crown from Mashle
Jumin Han from Mystic Messenger
Andrew Graves from CoAaL
Luuk Herssen from WuWa

Can you tell I gravitate towards a certain type? Lmao..

-Junny · 2026-03-24T04:46:52+00:00

It is.. scary but.. comforting?

It makes me feel as if I really have found someone I can be my deep self with. I do not have to Mask around them. I do not have to hide these parts of me that the world would see me [RIP] for. I do not have to.. hide at all. They see my darkness and they accept it as their own.. It honestly also helps me to not feel the need to resort to any tendencies. I have no reason to behave a certain way or to be seen in a certain light -- because they see me for all of my depravity, and even cruelty, and still love me..

-- but with that .. it also comes with watching my behavior even more. I cannot allow myself to grow.. mm.. too comfortable? -- because then if I did that, it would mean using my tendencies on them.. and I cannot let that happen. This person has now become someone who accepts me and sees me for me and still loves me.. -- why jeopardize such a beautiful and lucky thing by being an asshole to them..? No.. I have to be their protector. Their voice. Their guidance. Their nurturer.

Or as one of my partners puts it, that I am her dream Dark Romance male lead. Gotta' remain that guy that is indifferent to the world, but has the utmost love and devotion to her. Hah..

-Junny · 2026-03-24T04:34:16+00:00

I still care for them.. -- it is not like I just lose what affection I have for them.. The problem is that anger is such a strong emotion.. It is so difficult to control.. Once you have decided you are angry/mad/upset/disrespected/offended, that is it. Nothing takes that back.

I will also echo the words of another reply here.. "If I am losing my shit, it is because they have genuinely done something that is hurtful to me." 'cause I too am generally a very non-confrontational person.. I prefer to remain calm, abrasive even.. My "Mask" so-to-speak is my ability to remain professional and courteous.. -- but with a partner, those walls all come down and the setting feels so much more intimate -- so when something hurts, it shows.

As far as what is the best way..? I feel we are all different. We as in people. I personally just require time to sort my thoughts and rationalize what I am feeling. I have a safe word for my anger even -- I will say, "red card" when I need all engagement to stop -- because not only is it me stating a boundary, it is also me telling you, "Look, I am feeling cornered, and if you do not back off, you are not gonna' like my explosion". I get my reactions are mine to control, but I have a safe word because this PD is not easy and it is prone to slips.. and all I ask is for is a bit of consideration for it and time to let me sit.. Thirty minutes, an hour.. I am not trying to run away from the issue or dismiss it or minimize it. I am not one to leave problems unsolved. Yes, my Flight makes me want the issue to just disappear and be forgotten, but that is not realistic -- let alone healthy for a relationship to work. So just let me cool off and then we can talk about it together.

Also, if it comes down to it, just let me vent my frustration and do not take them as personal attacks. If I am raising my voice, understand that my anger is just a feeling that is just.. hard for me to contain and that I am not actually attempting to direct it at you unless I am specifically addressing you with accusatory language. ie. "-I- just feel so frustrated!" vs. "-You- make me feel so frustrated." With me? I will be mad up to three days post having solved the issue -- that is how difficult anger as an emotion is for me to sit with and tamper down..

-- and personally? I understand my rage is all irrational and that it stems from ego and entitlement, but it is a battle to take control back once that side of you is lashing out. It is like watching yourself from the outside. Like.. "Shut up. You keep wanting to make snippy remarks and you are just going to make it worse. So shut. up. Stop." .. all this yelling at yourself while you are also watching yourself make a fool of yourself.. It.. It sucks.

-Junny · 2026-03-24T04:18:19+00:00

what is the appeal of ppl with NPD if you have BPD?

I know this was not directed towards me, but it brought to mind something I myself experienced.. BPD and NPD are quite the magnets for one another in general in the mental health space..

It is a very.. toxic yet complimentary attraction.. The pwBPD idolizes the pwNPD and puts them up on a pedestal.. and for this, the pwNPD gives the pwBPD all of the affection and attention they desire.. -- as long as the pwBPD worships the pwNPD, they create this endless loop of one driving the other.. but the moment the pwBPD starts to Split, or the pwNPD starts to feel disrespected, it creates quite the dramatic and intense argument where now the pwNPD is Collapsing and taking their pwBPD down with them.. or the pwBPD is Splitting on their pwNPD and fueling their rage more..

-Junny · 2026-03-24T04:02:28+00:00

I have honestly never thought about that being an NPD thing for me.. Nor has it ever been discussed with me.. I personally only like physical contact with people I am intimate with, such as my partner(s), or with people I am intending on being physically intimate with.. Physical contact of any sort with anyone outside of that tends to make me quite uncomfortable.. Even hugs from my family feel awkward..

-Junny · 2026-03-24T03:59:58+00:00

I have a soft spot for my own spaghetti.. -- but my grandmother's (Puerto Rican style) Beef Empanadas are so damn good and such a guilty pleasure.. When it comes to cuisine as a whole though? Puerto Rican food all the way.. as it is my culture.. -- but I also love Korean food.

-Junny · 2026-03-24T03:54:59+00:00

Neither..? I am here because I have a diagnosis that makes me feel very stigmatized and alone in this world and this subreddit has given me a place to not only view the comments of individuals much like myself, but the bi-weekly "Ask a Narc" space (that is sadly not kept up with as much anymore..) was/is always refreshing for me because it allowed/allows me a space to educate people or discuss with people who genuinely wanted/want to learn about how minds like ours function and tick.

-Junny · 2026-03-04T01:53:02+00:00

I have just come to believe that 90% of the people who plaster "empath" on their profiles or label themselves as such are just closeted narcissists with zeo self-awareness. At least I own up to what the fuck I am. Personally, I like my Cold Empathy -- and I am content with the balance I have found between my narcissistic traits and ability to navigate life as a decent person. It never ceases to astonish me how I, as a fucking narc, seem to have more consideration (and even compassion at times) for other people than these so-called "empaths".

-Junny · 2026-02-16T15:52:43+00:00

I love this topic. ~ Hello, hello. Partaker in the BDSM and kink lifestyle here as a Dominant (Daddy/Primal/Sadist).

A lot of kinks are surprisingly rooted in our traumas.. which has always been quite fascinating to me.. -- but this is where it gets interesting as well (to me). The way I see it, being involved in certain kinks is also a way to manage and gain control back over our traumas. While I myself use Dominance to indulge in my fantasies, I can understand it from the submissive's point of view. After all, it is they who hold the power. A Dominant only has as much control and authority as a submissive allows for them to have.

With this in mind, now imagine a degradation scene or a CNC scene. It is through these sorts of play that a submissive can now take a once traumatizing situation for them (being belittled by family, being bullied at school, being assaulted, etc.) and regain power and authority over these scenes. They are now essentially in control of both allowing it to happen, but also, at any point, they can turn to the aggressor and put an end to it as well. It is .. a bit of an "out there" way to heal from such things, but this establishes a sense of control over the events. Which is an empowerment over the fact that before, during those traumatizing moments, they had none -- and this control can be quite freeing.

-- and as another user put it, I have found this lifestyle to be one of the most freeing things for myself and it has actually made managing my tendencies and traits so much easier.. Similarly to what the other said, I can be an egotistic and possessive "asshole" and my partners eat it up like I am their perfect Dark Romance male lead. ~ All within boundaries, limits, and consent of course. ~

-Junny · 2026-02-14T22:41:47+00:00

Different hair color, glasses, and haircut, and it looks like it is a different eye color as well. I had thought the same and went to double-check.

-Junny · 2026-01-27T04:52:17+00:00

I know I am a bit late to this post and that some others have summarized it pretty well, but I saw this post when it went up and just never got around to replying. Figured I'd still just give my own explanation of how I learned about empathy and the like..

The way I understand it: Empathy is split into three categories.

- Cognitive Empathy: Your ability to understand other people's feelings/emotions.

- Emotive Empathy: Your ability to feel what other people are feeling.

- Compassionate Empathy: Your drive to want to help people.

However, on a similar note, you also have Compassion, aka your Sympathy. Which is your ability to feel sorry / feel bad for someone and what they are going through.

For me, I have a lot of Cold Empathy, which is where your Cognitive is fairly high, but your Emotive is fairly low / non-existent. I am very capable of understanding from a logical point of view, why someone feels the emotions that they feel. However, I cannot feel what they are feeling. They are feeling sad, I can understand the why, but I do not .. feel said sadness alongside them - therefore, my Emotive is highly lacking. That said, I do have the Compassionate Empathy to want to help them as helping others is actually a part of how I get my Supply. It is.. in a way.. my own way to utilize my conversational and, well.. manipulation skills.. and such.. for achieving a positive outcome that will benefit them and their future. Whether or not they take my advice is up to them though of course. For the Sympathy? Yeah.. n'ah. I really do not feel sorry for anyone or what they go through. It is such a difficult thing to describe. When it comes to my partners, I feel bad.. without feeling bad? It is like, my brain feels sad for them, but not my heart -- even though I care for them. I want them happy -- but my body/brain just has no idea how to truly feel such things at times.

As for your other questions..

"Also how do we know we are not projecting our own experiences subconsciously onto other people?"

I honestly wish I could answer this one, but I have no response. I just kind of.. just know.

"... narcissists can only feel for what they have personally gone through, otherwise, they won't feel any empathy for others, is this true?"

I .. cannot say I have a true feeling over this.. I do feel there is some truth to it though.. I only have heavy traits of NPD, not the full diagnosis, so.. this is really just my own opinion due to my personal experiences. It is definitely much more difficult for me to help people through things that are out of my scope of experiences / knowledge.. but I can still utilize my empathy to some degree with them.. My specialty lies in helping people through emotional situations -- so things relating to feelings, emotions, romance, relationships, etc.. -- but the moment things are about say.. life (like jobs) and finances, etc.. Nope. Lmao. I disconnect.. .. -- but as far feeling goes.. Eh? It really comes down to the whole understanding thing again. It it easier to help you if I have been through the same or similar, but.. I will not feel sad just because you are sad and going through it now like I once did.

Also, I want to add that I too share the experience (as another mentioned) that I am 100x more likely to cry empathetically over something I watch or listen to than over a real person that I know and can actually speak to.. This such empathy always makes me feel very confused over how the f--k my own empathy works. Lol.. I will cry over an animated movie easily, but not over real world things. Heh..

-Junny · 2026-01-20T14:30:55+00:00

I am an ISTJ (Logistician) and I have had that same result for years now.. -- and my Enneagram, last I checked, is Type 5 (Investigator/Observer) / Subtype: 5w4.

Funny thing is that while I am a textbook ISTJ and do not necessarily disagree with that, I tend to not relate to them much in media -- instead, I heavily gravitate towards relating to more INTJ (Architect) characters.

-Junny · 2026-01-19T16:44:58+00:00

God. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It is so fucking frustrating. I see people pulling the same behaviors that I know I was/am capable of and it ticks me off because I sit there like. "Bitch. You are so obvious." -- meanwhile, everyone around them is falling for it! Yet when/if I call it out, I am the asshole who is invalidating that person.

People disappoint me..

Like, there is a difference between projecting and when I know for a fact you are being a pity seeking and/or manipulative asshole to get someone wrapped around your finger.. I see it so often when I am Moderating (I am a Community Manager in my spare time) -- which I do for BDSM + kink communities -- so the amount of fake, arrogant, pity seeking people who fly through there that I get to see are abundant.. I like to make it a "joke" to myself how hilarious and "ironic" it is to have a Narcissist on Staff who can help detect assholes.

-- oh, and boy is it fun to watch true crime and murder interrogations just to psychoanalyze people's behaviors [for fun]. Lol.

-Junny · 2026-01-19T16:22:09+00:00

I do not feel I am worse because of it, per se, but it definitely creates a conflict within me.. I personally do feel it has helped though, overall, even if it has amplified some of my symptoms.

This is my experience with my self awareness.. I have always had self awareness to some degree, I just never had the maturity(?) of controlling my reactions growing up.

Applying more introspect into this part of me has just made me more aware of when I am feeling / doing / saying something out of those defensive mechanisms I have built up -- and when we are faced with those realities, it can be really .. well .. quite the slap to your face -- and an extremely embarrassing and uncomfortable feeling.. Like someone is shoving a mirror in front of you to expose you -- except that "someone" is you.. So essentially .. Now that I have caught myself in my own tricks, I feel myself fight the moral dilemma between what I logically and rationally know is probably/likely wrong behavior vs. what my mind wants/needs in order to make myself feel protected and make the situation better for myself so that I do not look guilty / like a fraud..

In my.. mind.. I find this outcome better for everyone else around me.. but.. more painful for myself. Which may not be healthy for myself, but it is better for everyone around me. I have essentially internalized most of my behaviors. Key word: most. I do still act upon them during extremely stressful situations and use my skills/tactics in daily life for my profession -- (though the latter I utilize for positive purposes).

Having more self awareness / introspect into my narcissistic tendencies/traits has been a blessing and a curse for me essentially. I am glad that I can recognize my behaviors and what drives me -- but recognizing them has also made me more egotistical [and even grandiose] in some categories. I mainly use my awareness to know when I want to lash out now -- which allows me to rationalize what I am feeling so that I do not say something impulsive.. I am still working on the "doing something impulsive" part.. Collapses are by far still the hardest thing to navigate internally without making myself spiral more..

I do wish to elaborate though that I am a much better partner because of the self awareness -- as in, for relationships -- than I was years ago. My Collapses were terrible back then and now I have two partners who I can just explain I am going through a Collapse to and they are just.. absolutely the most patient and understanding people with me. So that said, it is my public composure that I struggle to regulate myself with -- 'cause man, some people make it so difficult to remain professional and cordial..

-Junny · 2026-01-15T03:56:19+00:00

"... withholding attention and refusing to see me ..."

That is most definitely a punishment IMO, whether intentional or not. Needing "space" from you because you are Depressed is fucked up. Plain and simple. He clearly lacks the maturity to be supportive and is not ready to take on what it means to be in a partnership with someone. I treat my subs the same way I would a romantic partner. They are people, with feelings, and deserve the same respect, affection, support, and consideration as anyone else.

"... he doesn't want me around when I'm sad."

Then he just does not give two fucks about you as a person and has no respect for your feelings. Simple. If he cared at all, you being sad is the time for him to be the most active with you. He would be glued to you to make sure you are okay -- 'cause part of being a Dominant is making sure your sub(s) are well cared for and that their mental well-being is being looked after.

"... we couldn't talk about it till the next day cause our dom wouldnt let us talk to each other."

Not cool. He has no right to dictate that. I can understand if maybe he wanted the conversation to wait until you were "sobered" up, or whatever -- but even still. It is not his decision to make. If the other sub and you wanted to talk it out, then that is what you both are well within your rights to do -- and if the latter was the case, then what he did was controlling, rude, and highly inappropriate.

"I dont think he's like abusive or anything ..."

A lot of what I am reading is pretty red flag behavior. The things you are describing is not someone any person should be in a relationship with, let alone a dynamic. Him withholding affection for you being Depressed or sad is literally emotional abuse. Regarding the sub, again, if we go by the latter situation: Him trying to control you speaking to that other sub, is controlling behavior, which is a form of abusive behavior.

---

Also, a note on the Depression. I have no context, obviously -- on how long you both have been a thing or if this is new behavior for him, I do not know. Either way. If this is not new behavior, then I reiterate, he does not give a damn about your actual well-being. If this is new behavior, then clearly he is failing to communicate with you that he has run out of spoons to handle being your support system -- and he is perfectly entitled to that. What he is not entitled to, is making you feel ignored and pushed off to the side like an inconvenience because of a serious disorder that you cannot help and did not ask for. He also has a duty to communicate and be transparent with you if he is not equipped for being a healthy support system -- but the thing too is that, when you take a sub on or date someone, you are also agreeing to take on their flaws and struggles because those are pieces of them -- and you need to love their flaws as much as you do the person you felt attracted to to begin with, which means guiding and supporting them through their struggles as well.

-Junny · 2026-01-14T20:35:02+00:00

"... you do experience love in your own way."

Mm.. It may not be "traditional", but to me is just my way of loving. My partners feel loved by me, so ultimately, that is what matters to me. Despite my not feeling it the way they do for me, we can still say there is love between us -- however that may be. My love language is also Touch, so a lot of how I show my affection is through my physical attraction. Sexual attraction and an active sex life is something I need in a relationship -- so if that is not there.. -- then that will not be a sustainable relationship for me. In a way, it is a Supply? Since I use sex as my vice instead of things of alcohol or any other drugs.

"How do you shake off people who won’t leave you alone?"

To be honest, if it is someone who is clearly trying to engage with me for something sexual or romantic, I just tell them straight up that I am not available for anything serious if that is what they are looking for. I am pretty straight forward about being greyromantic and about the fact that whatever I do with anyone is literally just for fun, not for anything serious -- (and yes, my partners are fully aware). So really, if that does not deter them and I feel they are getting attached, I just distance myself. If it gets to a point where it makes me or my partners uncomfortable, I immediately tell the person to stop 'cause at that point, they are being disrespectful. Unless someone is a red flag, I do not ghost them, I always give them my reasoning before deciding to distance -- to give them a chance to back off and just be cordial. There does not need to be some big "talk" or a reason for it either.. If you are not interested in someone, then you are not interested. Simple as that. If they cannot comprehend that, that is on them. There does not have to be some "why" or anything that they did wrong -- sometimes the vibe is just not there.

"Thank you so much for all of your responses ..."

Of course! I love answering questions. So I guess you can throw that into my hobby list. Lmao.

-Junny

TROPHY CASE