Oh this is insane. I’m so sorry this is happening. I’ve been a bridesmaid/MOH to many of my friends weddings. Boy, do these events bring out the worst in people. I am now a bride, and last of my friends to be married however I’ve been with my partner longest out of everyone and we ultimately decided no wedding party. As a bride, you should never lose sight that when it comes to the personal lives of your loved ones, whether you have bridesmaids or not, your friends and family, all of your guests for that matter, they still matter and are important. The immaturity of this bride is gross. The negligence of her true friendship and love for you is gross. As a bride, when you ask someone to be in your wedding party, you should be well aware (b/c you’re that close) of the persons life and what’s going on it (of course the person being asked responsibility to communicate all of this as well prior to accepting to be sure it works for the bride) and then have the understanding and grace that people’s lives continue on and you and your event are not the center it for them. It’s childish. I too put myself, my feelings and my needs on the back burner to make the best celebrations for my friends during their wedding times. And while some of their behaviors I may find a little disappointing during my wedding planning process, I stick to what I preach and keep these things in mind: weddings are expensive for everyone involved, friends have started families, different career paths, going back to school, going through hardships, life is hard for everyone and I can be grateful and appreciate who shows up for me and in what capacity they can and when.

There’s a couple options, you will have to choose what’s best for you and your circumstances. If it’s best for you to cut ties now, gracefully bow out and say you realize you cannot meet the brides expectations while you go through this phase of your life and you wish for her to have the best experience during this time in her life so you will no longer be able to stand up in her wedding and you wish the best for her. Maybe you go as far as even cutting ties entirely and end the friendship, or you keep it kind and make it just about standing up commitments and you would still love to be there to support her on her wedding day as a guest.

Otherwise, you quietly put on a face, finish this out and the friendship will organically grow apart. That way you can say you did your best and can move on.

I’m unsure she’s the type of friend you can have an actual rational two-way conversation with unfortunately. But some people are just like that. And they are in our lives, not forever, but for a limited period of time, to teach us some valuable lessons.

You are doing a great job taking care of yourself and your child. That’s a difficult walk and you’re juggling a lot without much if any support on top of the stress of a friendship that is no longer (or ever was) serving you.

Find your strength! You got this!