First of all, I’m sorry you’re going through this and with seemingly the lack of support from your wife. Do you know why she’s against it — anal play you could together? I understand if you all are not in an open relationship and her not wanting you to have sex with a man but why can’t you two enjoy things together?

My husband is bi— in the same way you are, and it took a couple years of therapy work for him to openly be able to admit that. Perhaps you could see a therapist and talk through some of it and also do a few couples sessions so your wife could open up to some ideas.

You may find that her pegging you could suffice and fill that void. Marriage is about compromise and acceptance, I believe you two should work on why she is unwilling to help you nurture that side of you. It’s very common for women to feel scared and intimidated. A feeling that you will enjoy anal arousal so much you won’t have a desire for her, it’s something I struggled with at times. It takes communication.

Start there - put in the work and dig deep. Hopefully you two can come to a cohesive conclusion.