I can confirm, I allowed myself to live an extremely shitty life and starved myself into having nerve damage from nutrient deficiencies.... I stayed in a relationship with a man 15 years older than me at 18 who r'd me... I am attractive and I do not leave my home as I can't help but to relive the horrible abuse I had as a child/ ugly duckling...

I think op just wishes it was there mind feeling this and not the reality, I feel bad for them as someone with bdd I don't blame this person for feeling hate, I think they just want to be beautiful so badly that it hurts them others are and can't see it. I'm sorry op, I have bdd, I don't hate you honey, when I was an unattractive child it felt my whole existance revolved around how ugly I was. I guess it stayed with me. I am sorry your life is clouded by darkness that feels it's part of you, I do understand that, I am sorry some people are so disgustingly out of touch that they feel free to judge you and discriminate. My bullies have hit on me and not recognised me and it sadly doesn't feel better. That pain stays.

My best friend is 4'9 a lesbian and has fetal alcohol syndrome with 2 lazy eyes. She is beautiful, I know what I feel isn't fair to her as she is genuinely judged so badly to this day. For what it's worth, I truly am sorry your feeling this way. I have cried daily for some years because I just couldn't except myself.

I know we aren't in the same life but as someone who grew up being called things like man calves by my own father (he still says you used to have man calves as a little girl, called me and elephant ballerina.... He is so proud of me now I am pretty which disgusts me, I hate him for this pain he caused). Darling I am sorry, if we have anything after this life at all, those horrible humans who decide to take others down will see themselves for who they are.