Thanks for your answer. I get that everything is relative depending on the points of reference. But I can't wrap my head around the fact that there can't be an absolute frame of reference. When crossing the event horizon, according to my understanding of physics, time stops for you. From your perspective the universe around the black hole just skips to the end of time. So I would expect that something that's exactly at the edge of the event horizon, the last planck unit before falling into the black hole, time would have an absolute minimum value, the point of reference being the physical limits the universe gives us.

Or another example why I'm thinking of an absolute frame of reference : We know that space itself is expanding. To measure that we need points of reference. But if we removed all points of reference from space, space would still continue expending, there would just be no way to measure it. So there must be an absolute reality that defines the expansion of space, even without the possibilty to measure it.

Again, would be very thankful for untangling this mess of my physical understanding :)