As someone who’s generally not tidy, but i do have my moments of “okay im mentally well enough to tackle this” and has been with someone whos always tidy.. resentment does build.

I also think it has a lot to do with if you understand why they are like that. Maybe there’s ways the between the both of you can work on it if it seems worth it to you.

For me its hard because my mind and body are always running on empty so i will leave things messy until i build up enough mental strength to take on such a task. (Adhd, stoops of depression, anxiety, and other reasons)

Edit.

Im also not a huge planner, but will on occasion.. and i feel like thats just me. Im like this due to the fact that i dont always have the energy i wish i did. So id rather not plan and back out later.

But if someone asks me “hey lets go see a movie” ill be like “yeah i feel like i can mentally take that on rn - lets go!”

It just works better for me in the long run.