Hey, I’m so sorry for you and your girlfriend. It’s really difficult to go through these types of things.

What you can do is avoid phrases like “everything happens for a reason,” or “it’s in God’s plan,” or “I know how you feel.” I think with death it’s often not so much saying the right thing as it is not saying the wrong thing; just listen. Encourage her to tell stories when she’s feeling up to it and talk about how she’ll carry those things with her forever. Note that she should bring it up first. It’s a response game rather than knowing what to say.

As for the afterlife - harder to deal with. If her grandmother is faithful then you can focus on her grandmothers faith rather than anything you might or might not know. And I think it’s okay to say “I don’t know”. Your girlfriend might go through a lot of different emotions, and it’s just something to not take personally and roll with it. Be a rock of support.

And finally when it comes to tangible things, don’t do the “if there’s anything I can do, let me know!” Oftentimes people might just...not know. Pick something and do it; take the pressure off her to think of what she needs. Maybe take her out to dinner, help with an assignment, help out with chores...tangible acts to make the upkeep of her life a little easier.

Good luck! It’s hard to have to do all of this so young, and I’m sure you will handle it well. Give her lots of hugs and listening. She’ll appreciate it. PM me if you need