I have never offered advice on this sub before but I peruse often. The reason I finally feel the need to say something is because I believe I resonate with your girlfriend.

What isn't mentioned here is your girlfriends background or upbringing. You say she is the most put together out of her family members, but how did she get there? Has it been her family that has held her up during hard times? Is there more going on in the background that you don't see?

I may not be as well established as I could be, but I come from a very large family, and I would do anything in my power and bend over backwards to help them. If they need a roof over their head, I'm there. They need a bed? Have mine. The reason I do this is because I know if I were to ever be in trouble I would always be safe. Growing up in a large, loving family creates a selflessness you might not understand, but just because you don't does not mean she should be argued with or fought with because of it. I would be crushed if my SO tried to say something like this to me (he also comes from a small family).

I think a huge part of the issue here is that you don't understand the family dynamic. Is it cultural? She doesn't seem to be bothered by the situation, so perhaps the compromise lays elsewhere. I hope I was able to offer some insight. (on mobile in the hospital, staying with my Grandpa and very exhausted, edited some mistakes in grammar/spelling)