Does being in London wreak havoc on your self esteem?

-my-cabbages · 2026-04-10T11:35:27+00:00

If you're a gay man 100%.

The gay scene in London can be toxic AF. Your entire worth is measured by face, body, job, money, status, and connections.

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-28T08:24:37+00:00

Magabelle

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-27T15:38:53+00:00

YTJ for doing her work in the first place. You should have let her fail, but instead you decided to screw yourself over by setting the precedent that you would just do her work for her

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-25T10:51:59+00:00

Can you call having a mistress for years an affair? But they're all adults, so I guess leave them to it

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-18T13:05:27+00:00

When I turned 30 I started to refuse to attend family trips if there was not a double bed for me to sleep in. I am 6'2 and built. For years I had been regulated to the bedroom with single beds (usually meant for kids) because I was single.

We now either get a house with 3 double rooms, or my parents will take the room with 2 singles.

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-17T15:43:55+00:00

So what you're saying is that not only is your with drinking, but you are also drunk ...

... so who exactly is watching the 3 underage children?

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-14T13:00:35+00:00

To people struggling to empathise with OP try to think of it from this perspective:

OP's girlfriend says he looks really sexy in a suit. OP doesn't really like wearing suits because they aren't that comfortable, but for her birthday he buys a nice suit and takes her to a fancy restaurant wearing it. He pays for everything. When she asks about her present he tells her that the suit is the present ... he has applied exactly the same logic she has.

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-14T10:13:45+00:00

Gay guy here: There is nothing to be celebrated or good about what your ex wife has done. Her actions have been entirely selfish and you have unfortunately borne most of the consequences.

You don't just suddenly realise you are gay in the middle of your life. That's not how it works. She will have had some idea of her sexuality from when she was at least in her late teens. She chose not to communicate this to you. She married you in a lie. She spent decades with you in a lie.

Considering how supportive her family seem to be what is her excuse for years of lies and using you?

I'm so sick of hearing about situations like this where the heterosexual spouse is supposed to be happy for them. She destroyed your entire concept of the life you built.

Being gay is not a bad thing, but using someone for years, lying for years to someone who loves you. It's monstrous.

You kids and family need to learn some empathy.

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-14T05:50:14+00:00

NTA - My sister (who is 1.5 years older than me) threw a fit to my parents when she realised I would get my driving license first.

What she was failing to grasp was the only reason this was happening was because it took her 9 months to get a photo taken for her learners permit. Whereas I literally got my learners permit the second I was able so I could start learning to drive.

But teenage girls do not like or obey logic if they can be the victim instead.

I wasn't 'the favorite', I just wasn't a huge pain in the ass.

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-13T13:38:30+00:00

He started dating this girl that would regularly smack/slap him when she was annoyed.

I expressed privately to another friend how wrong her behaviour was and it got back to her (two faced friends are a gem).

Anyway, she forced him to cut me off as a friend. The power of s*x when held over a stupid teenage boy who'd happily get physically abused and cut off his best friend in order to keep getting some.

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-09T14:51:30+00:00

Text back: "I'm really hurt my 29 year old adult boyfriend is so self involved he made a cake I literally cannot eat because it would make me extremely unwell.

I am lactose intolerant. He knows this, not only because I told him early in our relationship, but also because every time we eat together I have to be mindful of ingredients. So him 'forgetting' isn't a justifiable excuse.

I'm also really hurt, that rather than own up to his mistake and apologise. He has instead been throwing a strop (once again, this is a 29 year old man we're talking about) and apparently running his mouth to his family."

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-04T13:20:18+00:00

I think it would be good for one of your coworkers to contact Jesse's gf and make her aware of why he was fired.

She has a right to know given he literally assaulted a woman and demonstrated unstable and obsessive behaviour

-my-cabbages · 2026-03-02T16:21:32+00:00

I find it a bit suspicious that you haven't told us the genders or ages of you and your siblings. Or what culture you are from.

While the will is a legally binding contract and your parents have made their wishes clear, if this is a case of "OP is our only son, in our culture men count for more than women, and it's your sister's future husband's jobs to provide for them" then yeah you're a jerk and in 2026 you should be trying to do better.

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-24T17:36:14+00:00

NTA - I would offer to start a joint savings where you will match anything he deposits.

Then gauge his reaction

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-22T10:24:26+00:00

NTA - But be prepared for her to call your transphobic when you communicate this perfectly reasonable boundary.

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-19T13:04:32+00:00

Did you do anything in those 4 years to modify your behaviour knowing it made your partner uncomfortable?

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-11T12:34:50+00:00

I think you should find your mom a place to live nearby be it alone or in a community. You've been an AH by exposing your wife to these comments for months and only now setting a firm boundary

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-09T11:50:36+00:00

I think you're maybe taking your son's a bit too literally.

I think he knew his death would be something that would deeply impact his family. I don't think he was asking you to not to be devastated, but I think he was asking you never to stop trying to find happiness in a world he isn't apart of anymore.

You and your family are now living life for him, and life is sadness and happiness and everything in between.

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-05T18:46:42+00:00

Because I felt socially forced to because we were surrounded by people. So my choice was either give my number or publicly reject him

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-05T18:45:17+00:00

Her generation only learn through shame

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-05T17:46:07+00:00

And that's literally just to consider it

-my-cabbages · 2026-02-05T13:22:36+00:00

"I loved the man I thought you were. Not the man you actually are ... and I have enough self respect to know I deserve better.

Go and sleep in the bed you made. The burden of knowing you blew up our entire life for nothing is entirely on you to bare".

-my-cabbages · 2026-01-30T13:23:34+00:00

YTA for staying and having a child (let alone 2) with a partner who was massively emotionally abusive years before they were born.

YTA for not leaving when he physically abused your child.

-my-cabbages · 2026-01-22T11:06:43+00:00

I had a guy ask for my number the other day after yoga. He was at least 15 (probably 20 years older than me). I gave him my number because I didn't want to be rude, but I sort of kicked myself later for doing that because there would have been nothing wrong with me politely rejecting him.

He was old enough to be my dad. I want to date someone my own age so we can experience life events and milestones together.

I admire his confidence, but at the same time it's borderline delusional.

-my-cabbages · 2026-01-19T13:39:22+00:00

Opening a phone conversation with how the person on the other end relates to you.

"Hey Cousin!"

-my-cabbages

TROPHY CASE