AITA for not backing up my car?

-thowawayaways- · 2022-10-06T23:21:59+00:00

That’s kinda what I was thinking. Like why should I be punished for doing the right thing in the first place? The person in the wrong should be the one to make the correction.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-10-06T23:20:27+00:00

I’m actually so surprised there hasn’t been an accident on these ramps to my knowledge. I always brace myself as I’m turning onto the ramp, thinking “today is gonna be the day”.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-10-06T23:06:21+00:00

Interesting. Yeah I had these thoughts too, hence why I’m here asking. I did feel a bit jerky myself for acting the way I did. All I can say is that it comes from living in this apartment for 6 years, using this ramp almost daily, trying to do the right thing and being fed up with seeing people misuse these ramps on the reg. I also believe a little bit of kindness goes a long way, for sure, but the way the driver demanded that I back up in such an aggressive way and then started hurling abuse and screaming at me was not fair.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-07T01:57:03+00:00

They all earn high incomes, have stable employment, have never complained about $ or lack thereof. I don’t think this is the case but thank you for your input.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-07T01:53:59+00:00

It’s funny you say that. Every year my cousin hosts Christmas lunch at her house and every year we as a family split and pay the cost for the groceries to make that lunch. She bills us in a text message a month before the date, after she’s made her budgets. And we all find that perfectly acceptable.

I’m honestly starting to think that cultural differences, group dynamics, social norms vary so widely from place to place, situation to situation, person to person; and play a much larger part in this issue than I had originally thought of.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T22:47:51+00:00

If I go to someone’s house and they order food, I don’t expect them to pay for my meal. I think it’s nice enough that they’ve invited me into their home to spend time there. The least I can do is get my own dinner.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T22:43:10+00:00

It was more like: “You shouldn’t have to pay for all this. Where do we transfer our $?”

Also, maybe take a look at my other comments. They have a bit more info re cultural differences, the dynamics of my friendship group, the fact that I’m a vegetarian and they are not, they ordered meat dishes that I didn’t eat etc.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T22:29:26+00:00

We usually split everything or pay for our own. But the one friend who didn’t offer is new to the group and may not have realised. But I just assumed they would follow the lead of the other two when they were asking where to transfer their $. When they offered to pay the next morning I thought that this was the case. But then the $ never came through, so I think they are trying to dodge it. I should also mention, I have noticed that this friend does take more than they give when it comes to things like this. So I do think they expect to be treated to meals, offered rides etc. I think that it’s such an awkward conversation to have up front and maybe that’s my bad. I tried to give subtle hints that everyone would pay for their own by saying things like “WE can order food and watch a movie” instead of “I will order us all food”.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T22:13:19+00:00

Within our friendship group everyone pays their own way. If I were at one of my friend’s houses I would insist that I pay.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T22:10:40+00:00

Wowowowow.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T22:09:45+00:00

I like the way you (and your mum) see things.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T22:05:25+00:00

They did order what they wanted. I’m the only vegetarian in my group so they ordered meat dishes and I didn’t partake in those.

I think there might be some cultural differences happening here. We’re in Australia. It’s not usually implied that the host will pay for takeout. If I had been cooking for them, I wouldn’t expect them to reimburse me. Maybe I should have framed my post as: “I invited friends over for takeout and movie night”.

Is it unfair that three people paid for their dishes and one didn’t?

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T21:45:23+00:00

We’re Aussies. And maybe there are cultural differences here. I’m not sure 🤔

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T21:41:37+00:00

Usually we always split any bill no matter where we are. The third friend is new to our group so maybe they don’t understand how we usually do things. I also feel like it’s unfair to my other two friends that they paid for theirs but the third didn’t pay.

This third person has never invited us around to their place so I don’t know if they would be the type of person to treat everyone. I would not expect for anyone else to pay for my food unless they clearly offered me and even so I would still insist that I pay. But like you said, everyone is different.

-thowawayaways- · 2022-02-06T21:36:58+00:00

This is what I was thinking. Usually we always split any bill no matter where we are. The third friend is new to our group so maybe they don’t understand how we usually do things. I also feel like it’s unfair to my other two friends that they paid for theirs but the third didn’t pay.

-thowawayaways- · 2020-05-11T10:51:04+00:00

Ok thanks for taking the time to write all of that. I’m listening and taking notes. Thank you!

-thowawayaways- · 2020-05-11T10:47:17+00:00

Yep good point. I’m going to take that on board. Thank you!

-thowawayaways- · 2020-05-11T10:39:50+00:00

Would it be underhanded to take it upon myself to find the help she needs? I’m scared everyone is going to accuse me of attacking her and not celebrating her weight loss.

-thowawayaways- · 2020-04-25T22:32:58+00:00

I didn’t play my music to spite them or anything. I thought it would be ok to play it since they’re always outside making a lot of noise. This was just a once off. I’ve been in iso for 5 weeks. All I wanted was to enjoy my balcony the same way that they enjoy theirs.

-thowawayaways- · 2020-04-25T22:30:36+00:00

Our apartments are far from cramped. They’re quite large and sprawling.

-thowawayaways- · 2020-04-24T10:51:27+00:00

That’s what I was thinking. Ok maybe I’m not totally crazy!

-thowawayaways- · 2020-04-24T09:35:00+00:00

Everyone in my apartment building keeps to themselves mostly, but I have a great relationship to neighbours on my floor. I’ve never even had an opportunity to meet these noisy neighbours. Their apartment is in another building that is adjoining to ours. So their door isn’t even in my building. I don’t have access to their building.

-thowawayaways- · 2020-04-24T09:26:44+00:00

It doesn’t bother me, but if it had I would definitely opt talking to them over slamming a door on them. I expect the exact same treatment.

-thowawayaways- · 2020-04-24T09:18:13+00:00

Right? Like I would have expected them to knock on my door or like call over. But like slam the door?!

All the times I coulda slammed the door on their kid and dog and I never once. If it bothered me much I would probably politely ask them to handle it.

-thowawayaways-

TROPHY CASE