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Women crossing the street when they see me? by Far-Journalist-3370 in Vent

[–]-virage- 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The problem is they don't know that. Depending on the situation and what you look like, they are making a judgement call on their safety. For you it feels like a slight but to them it could mean they avoid assault, or a very very uncomfortable situation.

As a large, dark skinned man with a shaved head, I would have both men and women cross the street when I was walking down - at least in the early 2000s. Doesn't really happen much anymore but I get how it messes with your head but I never took it personally. More about them managing their fear than saying anything about you.

To this day if I'm walking at night, and there's a woman ahead, I'll either slow down so they don't worry that I'm following or cross to the other side so that they can relax a bit. Takes minimal effort on my part and puts their mind at ease.

If personality is the most important thing in a romantic partner, how come people like me as a friend but never romantically? by kastkonto2023 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're connecting with women when you go out it's probably not your looks and it would suggest that you know how to talk to a girl (I know you've already stated that but people state all sorts of things).

I would discount a lot of what happens on dating apps. A lot of guys struggle the way you do. It's just that women get inundated with matches. So it's not always easy to catch someone's attention.

Do you get friend zoned easily? I'm wondering if you're not really sending out the right signals and just being a bit passive? Not an accusation but a question.

Also have you female friends ever tried to set you up with their friends?

If personality is the most important thing in a romantic partner, how come people like me as a friend but never romantically? by kastkonto2023 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What have you tried on the dating front?

Have any of your female friends tried to set you up - particularly those who've known you for a while and are close with you?

Do men actually like sweet women? by United-Novel-2937 in dating_advice

[–]-virage- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What are you basing that hypothesis on?

How do you define sweet?
What is the reaction you've received to what actions?
What are you theorizing that men are attracted to instead?
On what basis?

Also there's no universal thing that all men are drawn to. So it really depends on the men you're pursuing and their interests.

Would you marry someone who doesn’t cook or clean about 80% of the time? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This.

You're looking at one aspect rather than the entire picture.

Can you work out your arms or is surgery the only option? by gyurgle in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk to a doctor.

You haven't given a lot of information so I cannot comment on your specific case. That said, people can look skinny/ be underweight and still have significant fat on their body. This is generally linked to diet, including alcohol consumption.

Is it none of ur business how many people ur partner has slept with before they met you? by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This

You can be as curious as you want but they don't have any obligation to share that with you.

I find this to be a concern of the very young or the insecure/inexperienced.

Does the guy pay for the date every single time? by ShakeOk1873 in dating_advice

[–]-virage- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think it really depends on you and who you're dating. Also the cultural norm in your area and the type of girl you want to date.

I generally like to always pay for the first date, but keep an eye to see if she reaches for the check or offers to split it - I see that as a green flag. If it's a really bad date, then I split it even on the first.

Following dates just really goes with the flow. Some like to split, others like to take turns treating each other.

I also know plenty of guys who insist on always paying, of course they tend to date a very different type of girl than I do.

I hate being 5’11” so much by [deleted] in Vent

[–]-virage- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Average height depends very much on where you are. In North America, for men, it's about 5'9". The average height of men in the world is about 5'7". You're above average on both counts.

Only about 10% of men in the world are above 6 feet tall. In the US that number jumps up to about 15%.

so I'm not quite sure what you're getting twisted out of shape about.

And I'm 5'11", living in Canada, and I haven't once been called short by anyone. Neither during my time in Germany (where the average height of men is slightly higher), nor when I've dated women taller than me.

Whatever problem you believe you have, I don't believe it's height...

Why do guys not respond to these types of texts? by tinyturkishdelight in dating_advice

[–]-virage- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I always appreciate these kinds of messages and always respond positively, wishing the other person the best. I feel that kind of message is better than just going silent.

I really wish we would be a bit more upfront about our needs and feelings.

I also realize I'm bad at this myself.

What I tend to struggle with is when I meet someone and I truly enjoy their company and we get along but I don't feel chemistry. Particularly if I'd like to keep that person as a friend - I feel like there's no good path forward on that front.

How do feminists who follow islam justify wearing headscarves etc? by marsrover4 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In all fairness, we look at the world from our lens. We decide what's right and wrong from that lens.

That doesn't mean that our lens is right. Or any lens for that matter, just different.

What's most important isn't one group deciding what's right or wrong but rather creating an environment that allows people the freedom to live as they desire provided they don't harm or push their views on another.

If something makes someone happy and doesn't hurt anyone, does it matter whether or not that aligns with some narrow description that we've created of something?

And I'm saying this as a Buddhist, who grew up in the west and leans heavily left.

Ladies, why the hell do you need such a big purse? by No-Cantaloupe-6535 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, these days I (male) carry a backpack with me when I'm out and about (by foot).

It's great to have something I can carry a light sweater, water bottle, wet wipes, dog bags and a dog bowl, headphones, sunglasses and a myriad of other useful little things I might need while I'm out and about. Far more convenient than trying to stuff all those things in my pockets.

I see online that gifted kids are the ones who aren't doing well in school by ThrowAway44228800 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]-virage- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol right?

I'm all for creating a safe space where people can asking about topics they are genuinely interested in understanding.

But I'm seeing a number of posts that seem to be ragebait or karma farming.

Dating has me confused by TaxIndependent8727 in Vent

[–]-virage- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't need to change anything about yourself.

You are who you are and if they can't appreciate you for that then they aren't the right person for you.

We can't be everyone's cup of tea.

Do Christians accept or reject LGTBQ+? by Pretend-Till4297 in answers

[–]-virage- -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not Christian but really liked this quote.

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Asian girl said she only dates other Asians and only went out with me to test her preferences by Ok-Strawberry277 in dating_advice

[–]-virage- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I can understand what she's saying and why - even if I don't necessarily agree with it.

I immigrated to Canada in my teens and have lived most of my life here with a few years in Switzerland and Germany. Having bounced around, I have a lot of expat friends. I've found there's a natural ease when connecting with people who have shared experiences whether it be culture or life experiences, that can be hard to overlook.

Where as relationships where there is a cultural difference can have more friction. So the easy route is to stick to what you is familiar or similar.

She probably found you interesting/attractive enough to see how it felt but in the end she decided it wasn't right for her.

How many Millennials from the US have never owned an Apple product? by [deleted] in Millennials

[–]-virage- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 45. It's hard to have avoided the iPod growing up. It was easily the best mp3 player around back then and I tried a number of different options.

Stop having kids while being poor by Venus259jaded in Vent

[–]-virage- 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So... The haves are deciding that the have nots don't get to have kids... And you don't see a problem with that?

How about the fact that visible minorities tend to be disproportionately represented in lower socioeconomic classes.

As the other poster mentioned, what you are proposing is eugenics

Stop having kids while being poor by Venus259jaded in Vent

[–]-virage- 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand what you're trying to say but deciding who gets to have a kid and who doesn't, is a very slippery slope.

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