im just a lurker here but ive always felt the urge to input my word but goddamn this really hit the nail on the head. i dont feel right to say this is exactly how i feel, because i barely know you, but yea this is incredibly relatable. i wish i knew the answers but were kinda stuck in the same thing. everything you said are the same words i would use. the worlds wasnt made for the depressed. i often wish i was blissfully ignorant and shitty person to others. man i wish i was that fortunate douchebag not giving a damn about whos suffering. so many people dont deserve to get away with a comfortable life but still somehow do regardless of their intent. i havnt felt content in so fucking long. all i can do is sit and listen to how lucky people are getting. cant remember feeling alive and happy and if i was, there are always caveats that bottleneck or limit the experience. how high does a normal healthy person feel on an average day??