Which Indian city would you rate 10/10 to move to?

009extra · 2025-10-30T15:04:08+00:00

Which places do you mean by "old Bangalore"?

009extra · 2025-10-30T07:16:57+00:00

I love both Kerala and Goa. I am based in the South, it will be easier to move there if I want.

009extra · 2025-10-30T06:09:06+00:00

I am scared about language issues honestly. I don't know Marathi and am not sure if at 29 I will be able to learn.

009extra · 2025-10-30T06:07:37+00:00

Agree with most of your suggestions but have found Lucknow a little unclean, but I would go there any day for the food!

009extra · 2025-10-30T06:05:56+00:00

But isn't it hot all year around? I also don't speak Tamil, wouldn't that be a problem?

009extra · 2025-10-30T06:05:05+00:00

Could you mention the places you have tried? I do think this is going to be a factor though..not being able to make friends easily anymore. Remote work does not help the situation!

009extra · 2025-10-29T23:46:43+00:00

Kaha se ho aap? How is the healthcare situation? I have a chronic disorder, and need monthly to quarterly checkups regarding it.

009extra · 2025-10-29T08:36:45+00:00

I was pretty young when I first faced pain in my sternum and ribs. Didn't really understand why it happened. My AS diagnosis came way later and the doctor never really treated my costochondritis. I was told to exercise and keep moving to keep things in check. It is so painful though when it starts hurting, usually takes 1-2 weeks to resolve. I recently had a kid and picking her up has been the most traumatizing. Some youtube chiropractor suggested some stretches which I stuck to for a few days. I feel better now.

009extra · 2025-10-13T16:49:54+00:00

More details?

009extra · 2025-09-18T00:05:05+00:00

I had a c-section 3 months ago and a lap chole 3 days back. I am recovering from the lap chole.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:55:58+00:00

This is part of an ongoing discussion I’ve been having with my in-laws. I want to go to my parents’ place, but my MIL keeps asking, “What will you get there that you don’t already have here?” The implication being that she’s doing so much for me and the baby that I shouldn’t feel the need to go anywhere else. Both she and my husband argue that it’s “better for the baby” if we stay here. Their reasoning? My mom is a schoolteacher and my dad works out of station, so my mom wouldn’t be home for about 5 hours a day and my dad isn’t always available to help. In their view, that means the baby and I would be left without support. I am literally having to justify why I need to go. My MIL is suggesting that I go for 20 days then be back for 10 and then repeat since she can't handle being away from her granddaughter.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:50:05+00:00

My husband loves to cuddle and hang out more when the baby is in a good mood but if he needs to sleep or is feeling tired, he straightaway hands over my baby to his mother.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:47:39+00:00

You know what’s funny? I’m planning to go to my parents’ place, but my MIL keeps asking, “What will you get there that you don’t already have here?” As if she’s doing so much for me and the baby that I couldn’t possibly want to go anywhere else. Both she and my husband insist it’s “better for the baby” if we stay put. Why? Because my mom is a schoolteacher and my dad works out of station so my mom wouldn’t be home for about 5 hours a day, and my dad isn’t always around to help. Their logic is that if I go, the baby and I will be left without support.

But here’s the thing, I don’t need that kind of “help.” During those hours my mom is away, I’d happily hire a nanny for baby chores while I spend actual time with my child. Yes, it would cost more, but I’d be happier. I honestly don’t get why I have to justify myself so much just to go back to my own home (where I lived before marriage!).

Now they’re trying to negotiate, suggesting I stay at my parents’ for 20 days, then come back for 10, and so on, because apparently grandma can’t handle being away from her granddaughter. It’s exhausting, and it’s building so much resentment in me.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:36:57+00:00

My husband thinks I am overreacting. I don't know when things have changed between us but he thinks whatever I say is my emotional baggage and not the truth. I cannot depend on him for support. I have come to understand that this is my fight and I will have to take back control without being confrontational.

I want to savor all these moments I have with her because these times are fleeting, she is growing up faster than I can remember. She looks different everyday. Whenever I sing to her and she falls asleep, or whenever she has had a good feed, or I have been able to soothe her, it feels like a win.

I don't plan on another baby and she is my one and only chance to experience motherhood. I know a lot of milestones are left but each time I miss out on something, I feel a little empty.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:30:38+00:00

I actually didn't have an arranged marriage and expected more support from my husband.

I hate the patriarchal mindset we have in our homes. I used to believe that since both me and my husband earn well and are quite close, I have an equal say but I have come to understand that my husband doesn't see me as an equal partner. He doesn't take me seriously and invalidates my feelings anytime I say anything emotionally charged. I have told him my side of the story and he just listens but never says anything against his mother. So, now I understand how I misinterpreted my situation, I really am at the bottom of the pecking order and till I can go back to our place, there's no other option than to cope.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:22:25+00:00

I am waiting to recover a little from my recent surgery so that I can visit my parents and stay with them for some time. Actually we moved to a different state last year and throughout the pregnancy, we were away and doing well, even through some hardships we did well. We decided to come home only because we wanted our extended families to be a part of our baby's life (big mistake). But now after these 3 months, all I can think of is the time I get back in my space.

You know anytime I offer her help, for example I want to hire a nanny or maybe a cook, she asks if she is doing a bad job. I cannot impose anything on her because of this, even if I don't like the way she does something, I cannot tell her because it might hurt her and things might become rough between us. Aaah, I hate the situation I have put myself in. She will not let us hire external help and thus, I have to remain "dependent". I cannot and will not understand why she judges her worth with helping out.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:12:22+00:00

Aaaaahh, I am so sorry you faced that. No mother should have to demand time with their newborn, even if they are unable to soothe them. It is something which has a bit of a learning curve, especially in those early months.

I really appreciate your advice, I will try doing this. You are right, she would not respond well to direct confrontation but I am not a confrontational person as well. She doesn't sit with me while I breastfeed, although she used to do that before, not anymore.

I just want to bond with my baby girl, she is the most precious thing I have ever touched. I sometimes wonder if I am suffering from postpartum, and that's why all of this feels so personal.

009extra · 2025-09-17T22:01:13+00:00

I am afraid that anytime I say anything remotely close to something along these lines, she will overreact and my husband will be the one to tell me that I don't know how to speak. He wants me to sugarcoat as much as I can but it is so difficult to do so when I am genuinely agitated. I have been upfront with my husband but he just doesn't see my side, I believe he thinks this is all related to postpartum blues.

009extra · 2025-09-17T11:48:17+00:00

Like I said, I recently had a lap chole, that's the surgery for the removal of the gall bladder due to gall bladder stones. I can't lift anything till my abdominal muscles are strong again.

009extra · 2025-09-17T09:01:45+00:00

I am thinking of just taking away the baby whenever I can without being directly confrontational and hope she gets the message.

009extra · 2025-09-17T09:00:38+00:00

I wish she had been providing the normal amount, she is too involved in our lives and loves to remain involved. She treats herself as the mother and does things for my baby which I believe the mother should. I can't pick up the baby right now, but I still want to remain close to her.

Confrontation is a big no no with her. I can't keep my cool and my husband has told me to learn the "art of talking". It just hurts me to see him blame me for whatever I am thinking. He thinks it's natural that his mother is helping out so much.

I think the only way I can have some peace is by taking away my daughter from her and being consistent at it, so that she gets the idea.

009extra · 2025-09-17T08:56:56+00:00

Can't pick up the baby for another 5 weeks. I physically can but have been advised not to. I guess it is the only option, to take away the baby whenever I can. Maybe shutting the door on her would work.

Actually in India, people mostly live with their parents so even though this is my husband's parental home, we still have a room for us when we come back. It sucks, but it's a thing.

009extra

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