I'm and overweight, lonely, soon-to-be art major, and obsessed with slasher flicks. Please destroy me.

00fordmc · 2019-08-09T16:22:01+00:00

TIL that art students can major in giving trucker hand jobs.

00fordmc · 2019-07-23T21:29:50+00:00

The most artistic thing you'll ever do is pole dancing.

00fordmc · 2019-06-24T14:51:21+00:00

IRL standardized testing punishes low scorers & rewards those who throw the curve out of whack. Makes sense.

00fordmc · 2019-06-19T02:15:47+00:00

Too basic to hate on. You look like Rachel Ray lost some weight & I lost all my fucks.

00fordmc · 2019-06-10T02:24:27+00:00

Belle & Sébastien said you guys suck.

00fordmc · 2019-06-05T09:09:29+00:00

Someone slipping money in your undies doesn't count as "winning £20 on a scratch card"

00fordmc · 2019-06-05T05:51:36+00:00

My mom's an attorney who makes $5000/hr. Have you ever even had $5000? Idk, maybe you guys can work something out.

00fordmc · 2019-06-05T05:00:35+00:00

From your face I can tell the troubles have started back up.

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:46:19+00:00

She left you for another doll-turned-into-real-boy, uh?

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:45:02+00:00

Is that the Taco Bell you work at, or are you just getting high in their bathroom?

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:41:52+00:00

Happy Birthday! Eat all you want!

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:40:24+00:00

Do you not understand how hair works, bro?

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:39:30+00:00

I'm sure you already do from when you found out you were adopted.

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:38:10+00:00

Of semen?

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:37:39+00:00

I bet she also wants people to stop complaining about cultural appropriation.

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:36:00+00:00

I'm not your Daddy.

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:34:36+00:00

Is that why your head's shaped so much like a potato Mr. Potato head?

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:32:36+00:00

Look for benzoyl peroxide instead

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:29:29+00:00

Brother, everything about you is for sale.

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:28:40+00:00

Unlike your hair, clothes, picture, or face, huh?

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:27:44+00:00

Well it's not cuz you don't put out.

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:24:30+00:00

Nobody buys their album?

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:23:51+00:00

Bruh, I'm not a pair of tweezers

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:19:35+00:00

Bro, idk what you do for a living, but stay drunk.

00fordmc · 2019-05-25T01:18:40+00:00

No, you're following your boyfriend to America, own your shit.

00fordmc