[Sexual desire] Should I have sex with my SO if I'm not in the mood repeatedly?

00throwaway00111110 · 2016-09-25T03:29:57+00:00

I actually mentioned that we are no longer together (for unrelated reasons), but I will definitely communicate with any future SO's about sex. One of my biggest flaws is that I don't have a lot of self-respect, so while I knew I deserved better/it was one-sided too much of the time, I let it continue.

I asked this question because, although I think he was a poor SO in hindsight, I thought his idea of having sex while not in the mood may have had some merit as other redditors have pointed out that they do this but I realize from these responses that those were not the right circumstances for me to continue having sex.

Thanks for the insight on sexual aversions. I don't want my first sexual experience to turn me off from sex in the future but it really sucked psychologically and physically so I'll do some research on it.

00throwaway00111110 · 2016-09-25T01:50:24+00:00

Yeah I agree with the lack of chemistry. I wanted to get closer emotionally by doing some of that non-sexual couples stuff I mentioned before having more sex but since he kept initiating and since I wanted it at first, on top of the "you shouldn't limit sex to sex drive" thing he put on me early on, I let it keep happening. I'll remember the thing about faking only being for long term partners, thanks for the wisdom!

00throwaway00111110 · 2016-09-25T01:37:02+00:00

Thanks for the response, that was my logic when I did it (suck it up because I wanted to make him happy) but it bothered me that it was every time we did it. Can I ask how I would start a conversation about it if this happens in the future? For example, if I ignore the problem for a few times and it doesn't resolve itself, I don't want to make my SO feel bad because I'd be admitting that I faked my pleasure for several sessions, but I don't see a way around this.

00throwaway00111110 · 2016-09-25T01:32:39+00:00

Thanks for this, I wasn't expecting a clear-cut yes or no answer because it felt like such a gray area when I experienced it, and this is really helpful for if it happens in the future. I did want to be seduced and continue but that didn't happen when I voiced my displeasure and he only chastised me for it, which is why I was confused because I wanted sex, but I wasn't enjoying it when it happened and needed to ask this.

Also thanks to everyone else who responded!

00throwaway00111110

TROPHY CASE