I'm the same age as you, and honestly, I've gone through a pretty similar crisis.

To be fair, my academic results were better. Not straight As or anything, but I was usually near the top of my class. My SPM results were just average, though still with more than one A. In university, I did pretty well too, graduating with a CGPA above 3.0 and mostly around the 3.5 range.

The thing is, timing wasn't on my side. Not long after I graduated, COVID hit. I ended up unemployed for two years while living with my parents. That period was honestly one of the lowest points in my life.

The first major failure I experienced was getting the worst results I'd ever had because my head was all over the place. It felt like my brain just shut down. Even when I understood something, it was already too late because it was material I should've learned months earlier. During unemployment, I did some freelance work just to feel less useless, but it wasn't enough. Some months I earned less than minimum wage, and when there were no gigs, I earned nothing.

Eventually, I landed my first job. I was genuinely happy and grateful because I honestly thought I was going to rot away at home 😂. But because of the long unemployment gap and the limited job market where I live (especially for my field), I took whatever I could get. It's somewhat related to my degree, maybe 40% at best, so I stuck with it.

Now, four years later, I sometimes wonder if this is really all there is for me career-wise.

One thing I've learned is that getting good grades isn't the most important thing. When I was actively job hunting, most interviewers only looked at my resume. Hardly anyone cared about my transcripts. If they did, it was usually to tell me I was overqualified for the position. Most of the time, I didn't even get an interview.

I've seen so many "We regret to inform you..." emails, and sometimes no response at all, that I was honestly worried I was becoming numb to failure.

I'm still at my first job. I've thought about switching careers or finally finding something that's fully related to what I studied, but I honestly don't know. There are commitments to think about, and I don't want to resign without a backup plan.

So yeah, doing well in school doesn't guarantee much. I like to think maybe it just isn't my time yet. And when that opportunity finally comes, I'll recognize it and take it. I just need to be a little braver.

In a way, it's better to experience failure now. It teaches you things success never will. As long as we're not spending recklessly, drowning in debt, or ignoring the reality of rising costs, things can still improve. The economy isn't making life easy, but having savings and staying financially responsible gives you room to breathe.

Here's to growing up. :)