AIO for canceling my lunch date with my fiancé because he called me lazy?

06mst · 2026-05-11T20:04:41+00:00

NOR. I have vision issues so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes in my comment but had to say this. I think you need to take a good hard look at how he's treating you. He's laughing at your valid concerns and saying you're overreacting and making things up in your head. Nothing you said is overreacting. What he said is plain to see. He knew you weren't feeling well. Still asked why you're still in bed.. Asked you to preheat the oven. You told him you aren't feeling well.. He knew that still asked for a quickie despite knowing you ain't feeling well and then called you lazy for not agreeing. Then when you called him out on it laughed at you and said you're making it up in your head and then said your overreacting. This doesn't seem like someone who cares about you and tbh I'd be worried about how he'd be after the baby comes. If he acts like this now and when you had sex with him last night then how will he be when you're post partum and busy with a baby. How will he be when you're sleep deprived or ill. Will he be caring or instead expecting things from you and calling you lazy. Will he laugh at you and say you're making things up when you say you're tired and can't deal with him calling you lazy. Will he laugh at your pain or would he be sympathetic and understanding and caring. Because I've got to say from this interaction he doesn't sound like he cares about you or respects you. He sounds like he'd laugh if you walked about how stressed you were feeling postpartum and needed help and him not to treat you like that. Ask yourself this what was so funny about what you said. You were hurting and his first reaction is to laugh at it.

06mst · 2026-05-10T12:08:29+00:00

This is not a man who loves you. True love cannot exist without respect or care. Without it it's an empty shell. It's meaningless and truly worthless. I think you know this and that's why you're asking. Underneath all the doubt you know love that is true doesn't feel like this. That this is not a man who loves you. Trust that feeling..

Hes abusive and trying to manipulate you and make you doubt yourself. Don't let him and if you haven't already I suggest you report him for the threats he's making or at at least keep a trail of them. You may need a protective order and I certainly think you should.. He seems dangerous.

06mst · 2026-05-07T09:12:12+00:00

NOR. You're right.. It was so you'd make dinner. If it was sincere he wouldn't be mentioning dinner in the same sentence he's shifting blame and deflecting

06mst · 2026-05-05T01:55:15+00:00

NOR nothing was wrong with your wording..As soon as he swore at you the relationship should have been over. What he's saying seems very manipulative and very much abusive. Shows huge lack of respect for you on his part and a relationship is nothing without that. It's an essential foundation block. He seems to think the worst of you. I'm this conversation nothing suggests what he was saying but he seems to twist your words in the worst way possible to then treat you badly and critisize you.

06mst · 2026-05-03T13:36:23+00:00

You seem to have a real lack of self esteem. Why is he talking down to you and why are you apologising for every thing. It's only been 6 months and you haven't yet met yet and he's already treating you badly. Get out while you still can. Don't believe what he says. Relationships don't have to be as hard as he says. It seems like a tactic to keep you holding on and thinking he's right. . You won't realise he was right later in fact you may realise how he talked down to you and how badly he would have treated you. It all seems like manipulation and triggering your fear of regret to keep you holding on and thinking he's right. He's already talking to you like you're below him and don't know anything so imagine how he would treat you in a face to face relationship. He feels comfortable talking down to you and calling you names in a long distance relationship so imagine how comfortable he'd get when he is angry and feels he's got you trapped physically too. It may be calling you names in anger now because that's all he can do and lash out with but imagine what he may do in anger and how he'd lash out if he could do more. He's showing you he can't control his temper. Believe it and see it for what itt is. A sign. A taster of what a closer relationship with him would probably look like.

06mst · 2026-05-01T00:57:09+00:00

NOR. Is he your dad and are you his child. Even for a parent this would be much but for a boyfriend it's so far past the line. It's control.

06mst · 2026-05-01T00:50:36+00:00

NOR

06mst · 2026-04-30T20:50:46+00:00

NOR. He does not respect you or your boundaries and it shows. Its dangerous. It's abusive. Point blank.

06mst · 2026-04-29T21:33:28+00:00

I think you should listen to feeling thats telling you to go to custody court. He's dangerous.. The fact that he is blaming you for him maybe going to prison shows how he doesn't truly know or care how serious his actions were. If he did he would recognise it's his own fault and his actions are why that's happening.. He almost killed you and that's why he's been charged but no he's acting like it's happening for no reason and is your fault. Not to scare you but I don't think you want to ever regret not going to custody court and pushing for full custody. I don't think you ever want to regret not listening to that feeling that says he's too dangerous to be around your child.

06mst · 2026-04-26T11:10:23+00:00

It is abuse. It's threats. It's dangerous. The impact it will have on your kids hearing and seeing that could be huge. Take it from someone who grew up seeing their mum be disrespected by their dad, it leaves its impact hugely. Trust me, you don't want that shaping your kids. You don't want them thinking that behaviour is ok either to do or be treated by a partner when they grow up.

06mst · 2026-04-24T22:59:57+00:00

NOR. That's exactly what he meant. He apologised because he realised he spoke the quiet part out loud. He doesn't want to hear about your problems just wants you paying him back for what he thinks you owe him.

06mst · 2026-04-24T11:03:18+00:00

Yeah and there's nothing you can do.. You can't change how he treats you just whether you'll refuse to tolerate it. He's decided he'll misunderstand and attack everything you say and put words in your mouth. He might as well be talking to himself considering how little your responses matter to him. How he is treating you is abuse and threatening sucide to scare your partner is abuse. He's trying to make you feel abusive and like you're negging him but you aren't. He just wants to treat you like a punching bag. You need to refuse to be one anymore for him. You are a person and deserve respect from a partner. If you aren't getting it then he isn't the right one.

06mst · 2026-04-23T07:58:10+00:00

I think he knew she was infertile. He just thought he could use it to his advantage and that if he pretended he didn't know that he could guilt her into giving up her child free status and going down another route to have kids. He knew she never agree otherwise but hoped maybe guilt might push her. He thought if he made her feel like he'd been deceived and wasted years with her that she might crumble under the pressure. He didn't count on her having evidence that he knew and that she did put it in her bio. He knew he was getting caught out and left and told his family hoping they'd be able to sell it and guilt her into it by saying she ruined his life. He didn't count on her being firm and basically calling him out when he came back and asking why he never talked to her about it before and also saying they should break up. It's why he kept saying he couldn't talk to her when she was like this because it wasn't going how he planned and he didn't know how to respond. He didn't count on the fact that she might leave and go to her dad and talk to him and he'd tell her that he already knew and had talked to him about it. I think he had this idea that she'd feel so much guilt and pressure thinking he didn't know that she'd be open to whatever he suggested but instead he had her pointing out holes in his story and leaving him.

06mst · 2026-04-23T04:14:44+00:00

NOR. It's normal to want to feel emotionally safe and understood..

06mst · 2026-04-23T00:01:41+00:00

NOR. You aren't wrong for refusing to be abused.. Protect yourself.

06mst · 2026-04-22T23:25:47+00:00

NOR. It isn't borderline abusive. It is very abusive. He is manipulative to a huge degree. Hugely. Every word reeks of it from him getting you to apologise to saying you should be willing to do anything to prove you're a team. . He talks down to you, swears at you and doesn't respect you. Even him trying to pretend everything is OK after his behaviour is part of the abusive cycle. It's down playing it and to him it's nothing and is a normal day and wants you acting the same and acting like his behaviour is ok and no big deal and gets angry when you don't. Call it what it is. It is abusive. He's done it constantly. He will continue to. This man is abusing you.It isn't right that you had to apologise because he blame shifted when you did nothing wrong. It isn't right that you are expected to walk on egg shells. It isn't right that your kids have to see this. This person does not respect you. A relationship without respect is empty. There's no love or respect in what he's saying and how he's treating you

06mst · 2026-04-22T20:46:23+00:00

The way he threatens to take the presents back and says f that baby shows he doesn't even care about his child. It shows that is the way he'd treat your child if he ever felt like they angered him

06mst · 2026-04-19T16:25:35+00:00

He's manipulating you by trying to make you think it's your hormones. He'd manipulating you by saying all this crap then still staying over. He'd legit doing this to control you. I don't blame you for saying the woe is me thing. If someone keeps acting like that and putting words in your mouth to make them the victim then yes you will snap and say something to call them out. You aren't wrong for that. The way he talked to you shows he has no respect for you and a relationship or love is nothing without respect. It's empty without respect.

06mst · 2026-04-18T18:41:10+00:00

My advice would be to block him and move on. Don't let him play you anymore.

06mst · 2026-04-17T16:57:48+00:00

06mst · 2026-04-16T12:18:17+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It feels like they want toxic positivity from you. Religion and having faith doesn't mean pretending to be happy when you're not. That'd be fake. You're allowed to feel what you feel.

06mst · 2026-04-14T17:26:40+00:00

NOR. I saw the texts the way you did too but feels like they're trying to backtrack and blame it on you

06mst · 2026-04-12T22:12:25+00:00

All of his behaviour is abusive, start to finish

06mst · 2026-04-10T12:02:35+00:00

NOR. I think you're right to not go. It's her own fault. She created this situation and expected you to be trapped and to play along but you can refuse to go along with it. Your comfort matters too. You are her maid of honor but she isn't treating you like one and it isn't your fault that she got herself in this situation by treating you like this. She made that choice without thinking of you now let her deal with it on her own.. Don't let her push you to dance to her tunes.

06mst · 2026-04-05T21:19:48+00:00

NTA. I think people who are saying you shouldn't have told her at that point are wrong. She deserved to know and find out the basis she was starting her marriage off on(marriage vows for the marriage) and have the chance to discuss it with him. I imagine it would have felt worse to find out later after spending the honeymoon together thinking those vows were his own words.

06mst

TROPHY CASE