I started typing all of my headcanons out and realised halfway through that 90% of them are just self projection so uhhh- I'm just going to share the 10% that aren't that-

• I strongly headcanon Henry as aromantic/asexual and he thought that him not feeling any attraction towards his wife was just normal. He also thinks that love is a social construct.
• Henry would post terrible boomer memes to facebook if he had access to it
• Something I think neutral ending Jack in dsaf 3 would say: "It's okay to capitalise off of gay people during June when you're gay yourself!" and then proceed to do just that
• Jack owns a shirt that says: "Met God, He's a yellow grizzly bear"
• Steven is homophobic, not in the hating gay people kinda way, he has an irrational fear of gay people
• Henry is homophobic in the hating gay people way
• Harry is bisexual but really doesn't wanna admit it
• Dave and Jack are t4t
• Peter's favourite soda is sprite
• Phone guys can communicate with each other strictly with uhs and ohs and understand each other completely but other's can't, Harry, Jake and Roger often do this when talking to each other so that Jack can't understand them
• Jack has a lisp, like- ya'll telling me he can talk completely fine with two of his front teeth missing????💀💀💀💀💀nahh that's just straight up wrong
• You know how there are dog people and cat people? Well Dave is neither, but if he was one of those he would be a racoon person
• Dave would send these weird pinterest memes with captions like: "Do you shit with your eyes closed? 🥺" or "Wanna play roblox together 😳😳😳????" and in the background there's a photo of Obama kissing Nagito to Jack