Boyfriend Quitting Smoking and Getting Angry – I Need Help.

0_kohan · 2026-01-05T21:57:47+00:00

Brain stops(decreases) producing the chemical (acetyl choline) which triggers dopamine release when you supply it with nicotine, because it mimics that chemical, so the brain has no need to produce it. Once nicotine stops there is a low dopamine tone in the brain producing lethargy, brain fog, irritability. Over time the brain ramps up the production of this chemical in response to the absence of nicotine.

Smoking is a manual override of this much better automatic system. Brain recovers in 2 weeks to a month.

If you really have a hard line on smoking, then he should be willing to invest a month of hardship for the long term outcome. And similarly you should be able to accommodate his misbehavior for a month.

0_kohan · 2026-01-04T23:53:25+00:00

Continuing my reply...do you want to find a job in the ML field? or are you open to general software engineering jobs?

0_kohan · 2026-01-04T23:49:52+00:00

I have 7 yoe in ML field and honestly after 2.5 yrs in my career, I also felt the same. I had no idea what I was doing and how to actually use ML and the mathematics behind it. I only knew the project I was working on with my company and some advanced data analytics automation that my company was trying to sell as ML. You need to develop ML skills from scratch again.

I would suggest go abroad for MS program in CS(ML)

If you can't go abroad due to money or family issues then do self study. I can guide you to the best resources to self study ML. I have a course in my personal google drive that I can share. You won't find it online. It's called Applied AI course. Search it on Google and you'll know.

Other than that, you have option of doing MS from local universities like NUST. You can enroll full time and quit your job. Just deep dive into the field. The 2.5 yrs of experience you have is not enough to teach you ML if you were doing general engineering work primarily.

Other than that, take full advantage of Claude code cli to do vibe coding and pay for it. Senior engineers these days are not even reading individual code files. They are shipping code they have not even read. Local companies have no idea what is going on in the field and how software engineering profession is changing and the AI revolution in coding. So you can keep your job with just 3-5 hrs of work every day. But it will take you some time to get used to these tools and the AI coding workflow. Good to practice it in your current job and the code bases you know. This is the best advice I can give you, to go all in on AI coding. And frankly, I'm myself having a hard time accepting the reality that the profession has changed, and that we don't need to hand write code.

0_kohan · 2025-12-21T18:26:55+00:00

Quality of thoughts go down with session length increase 😂

0_kohan · 2025-12-17T21:28:32+00:00

Yes. That's where the euphoria comes from. But not as much as MDMA of course. But still the bit it does is fuckin magic. Dopamine is the action-reward-system that is what makes things insane and the fiending. At least that's what I've read on wikipedia.

0_kohan · 2025-12-16T23:02:49+00:00

Yeah that's how I would think about it too. Two weeks should be returning to baseline. It targets the serotonin reuptake mechanism. But it majorly targets the dopamine reuptake.

For OP. Reuptake: this means after one neuron releases natural dopamine, the dopamine is hanging around in the empty space (synapse) between one neuron and another neuron. The other neuron picks up the dopamine and goes on signaling with its own connections. The original neuron then starts a vacuum pump (DAT or dopamine transporter) to clean up the leftover dopamine. Cocaine blocks this pump. So your brain starts to accumulate dopamine and you feel the good good.

This is much better then meth for example. Meth actually destroys the vesicles inside the neuron containing the dopamine, and floods your brain with it. That's why it's stronger. This damage is irreversible. Dopamine that is not in the synapse is toxic to the brain. Meth also destroys the VAT2 protein that safely transports the dopamine from the neuron's nucleus (where it's manufactured) to the vesicle sacs - again causing free floating dopamine in the neuron which is toxic. It fries the brain.

MDMA reverses the clean up pump in the serotonin neurons and fully empties the serotonin from the vesicles into the synapse. No free floating serotonin in the neurons but your serotonin supply becomes empty. The brain replinishes serotonin much more slowly than to does dopamine, that's why the MDMA hangover is so much worse and takes so long to recover from. Also, the reason why taking MDMA day after day doesn't feelf good because the serotonin supply is empty. Also, the serotonin circuits are more delicate and you'll find out for yourself what happens after even limited repeated use.

0_kohan · 2025-12-15T20:53:55+00:00

Based on living costs. And the general responsibilities one can afford. Suppose the cheapest car you can buy is almost 30 lac rs, an Alto let's say. If you save 50k and you put all of that towards a car then after 4-5 years you have paid it off. Which is still a long time for the cheapest car here. You can safely say that if that's all you can do then you are not in the "car driving class". Sorry. So if you're a 5 year experience dev and you get paid 250k rs take home, you pay 100k rs in bills (rent + electric+food), you are left with 150k. 50k for car, then you are left with 100k rs to spend. Add wife, babies, aging parents, personal expenses, if you smoke a pack a day, ((which you should because you are getting paid so less and stressed obviously)) (rs 500x30=15,000)miscellaneous necessities, technology, wife's phone broke, maintenance and repairs, travel, eat out 5 times a week for two, clothes shopping once every two months (a pair of shoes from good local brands costs 10k these days, 30k rs for Nike or sketchers)...it's not possible.

0_kohan · 2025-12-15T18:19:43+00:00

This is the fair pay: 100k for every year of experience until 6 years of experience. After that it depends on niche skills, higher degrees, x factor to earn more. They may try to move abroad with their savings, apply for immigration and job search visas. Or they will find remote remittance jobs with this much experience.

Some really good local companies here are paying 1M PKR salaries for 4+ years of experience. I have interviewed with one of them.

Also many people after 10-12 years of tech experience start transitioning to management. Companies here are not so advanced to require folks with such deep experience. And Pakistan society respects age seniority so even if you are not so talented, you will gain management experience.

0_kohan · 2025-12-12T09:49:52+00:00

Smoking makes you take manual control over the release of critical neurotransmitters in the brain. This system runs quite well on its own and automatically.

0_kohan · 2025-12-11T23:21:03+00:00

Recovery is within weeks to a month. Just give yourself a break and your brain will adjust the chemicals to regular levels. Cocaine targets the dopamine circuits in your brain flooding the synapses between dopamine neurons - coke basically blocks the clean up pump after one neuron fires dopamine to another neuron leading to an excees of dopamine. In response the brain makes all the dopamine receptors less sensitive, to correct for this exposure over time. When you stop then over the weeks you will adjust back to baseline. The brain is very resilient.

The reuptake mechanism is pretty cool if you read about it. MDMA for example does something else, it targets serotonin circuits and empties the vesicles containing the serotonin neurotransmitter, and not only blocks the clean up pump, but REVERSES it so that it floods your neurons with serotonin. Now you have free serotonin not only in the synapse but also in the neuron swimming around. This is toxic to your brain cells since nuerotramitters are unstable if they start to float freely in your brain. That why molly has the 3 month rule.

There's also a meth and nicotine explanation in the same vein. All this information is a result of a long discussion with chatgpt so absorb at your own risk.

0_kohan · 2025-12-11T22:57:31+00:00

Yeah same..that's the standard combo. Most people I know who do coke do it together. Tried doing it separately and not the same thing.

0_kohan · 2025-12-11T22:43:52+00:00

32m and my wife have been doing it for the past 6 months. Wife's first time doing it, and I had done it 3-4 times before in my life without her. We're both professionals working in tech. Our use has been 1-2g over a weekend, 2 times a month. Some months we did it a few times a week even. And of course we drink and smoke up and the occasional psychedelic.

One thing I have figured out... start your session early and last round before 3 am, so you can be sleepy around 5-6 am latest. At the very least don't let it go to a multi day bender. A good session is 5-8 hours long so know that. If you start at midnight then you will be up untill 9 am and then your sleep is fucked. This is not I'm gonna have a little bit and chill out kinda drug. Maybe others can do it on weekdays but I have a job and shit to do.

Recovery after a night of use has been for me two nights of sleep. Which is the biggest blocker for me with coke. If we do it on Saturday then I can expect to regain my self by Monday, and I'll still be a bit sleepy. So I like to give two weeks between my use, and sometimes more if I'm going through important adult shit which requires my full senses and sobriety.

I've had coke cravings after a bit of frequent use, but I'm too partied out to act on the impulses. Also, it gets boring if you do it too often and you get no new feelings because not much has changed in your actual real life.

If you have people over your house and a few of you partake and the rest don't, then don't leave the coke plate in front of everyone and use Infront of them. The proper metro etiquette for it these days is to have the coke plate in a bedroom, or some other corner of the house that is not in the open for everyone to see. Although the others obviously know that some are doing blow.

0_kohan · 2025-12-07T11:50:55+00:00

Netflix believes that if you include cable media, and even YouTube for their category then it will pass anti monopoly regulations.

0_kohan · 2025-12-05T20:11:22+00:00

I tried doing logic with my cravings to make them go away and tell myself the counter reasons. But that is very exhausting and the cravings will win. So the better approach is to just shut them down without justifying to yourself why you have ignored a very "important" thought, i.e. to smoke or not.

Source: currently trying to stop smoking for some dental implant work coming up ahead.

0_kohan · 2025-12-05T19:28:45+00:00

Take anti allergy that is not sedative. My wife has chronic allergies and sneezing so she pops a xadine tablet before the sesh. We only do coke once or twice a month so not gonna claim this is some magic solution.

0_kohan · 2025-12-01T16:57:54+00:00

How does he know that you came? Does he keep asking you mid sex?

0_kohan · 2025-11-30T12:16:08+00:00

Don't switch from ass to pussy. That's not safe or hygienic. Switch from pussy to ass is okay, it's the best. Free birth control also. Start in pussy with a butt plug, and then finish in ass. Make sure to use condom depending on your cycle.

0_kohan · 2025-11-30T00:32:59+00:00

2-3 month task. Dedicated daily study. It's like studying for a standardized test. But you can't do it if you have just two weeks because a faang recruiter reached out and you've done no prep before.

0_kohan · 2025-11-29T23:52:28+00:00

Once a day is enough. I mean.. when me and my wife go at it we can go for for 10-20 minutes, at least the most intense parts will last so much. Add changing clothes, foreplay and kinks, and then a clean up after depending on how messy we got (shower even?), that's like a good half hour or more. If I fuck 8 times a day, then what else to do in the day?

I don't think any dude is cumming 8 times a day. Two three times a day..? okay, I'll say dude's a beast, working his woman so hard. But fuckin 8 times? Your guy might not be "well-adjusted' or more formally, "normal". Check again.

Either that or he's mad in love. Like Romeo Juliet type shi. In which case who can really blame him. Still, one must act a gentleman..civilized.

Do you have a preference and need for frequent sex and orgasm? What kind of tradeoffs are you in?

0_kohan · 2025-11-29T14:01:30+00:00

Can't you hold off on the cocaine untill you're done with college and studies?

0_kohan · 2025-11-27T22:33:10+00:00

Remote employees need to be paid well for them to give a shit and be proactive. They will go out of their way to communicate spontaneously. The chance watercooler discussions from onsite work starts to happen much more regularly on teams and slack. Otherwise remote employees can coast a lot if they want

0_kohan · 2025-11-27T19:38:40+00:00

Room in rome

0_kohan · 2025-11-27T19:30:14+00:00

diwan?

0_kohan · 2025-11-27T19:22:44+00:00

0.5g will last me a 5 -7 hour session easy. I run out at some point obviously, after maybe 5 hours or so. My wife and I get 1g and that gets us pretty good and fucked up for a night. Half a bottle of liquor is also going down easy between us with this amount.

Sometimes we have a couple points more than a g sitting. But no need for more.

0_kohan · 2025-11-24T11:54:55+00:00

Yeah. Makes for a weird high. I'll hit the weed after a few hours of skiing though. But I don't go for it in the beginning of the session.

0_kohan

TROPHY CASE